. “Do it, you can’t, you won’t. You’re afraid of me, you’re afraid of power. You’re afraid to fight back, Kiera. That’s what makes you so weak.”
“I’m not weak.” She said, his grip tightening.
“Show me.” He snarled. “Fight back for once in your God dammed life. Do something. Fight back!” He screamed in her face. She tried to shrink away from him, but couldn’t get any farther than she already was.
“Y-you’re hurting me.” Kiera cried as she gasped for air.
“I don’t care, Kiera. I never have.” He said. “Just fight back Kiera, do it.”
“I can’t.” She cried.
“Do it!” He screamed, flinging spit into her face. A mixture of fear and rage that had been boiling inside of Kiera for as long as she could remember suddenly boiled over. She snapped, her arm found its way upwards with tremendous speed. He let go of her as he stumbled a few steps back, grabbing his stomach.
“Y-You fought back.” He said, sounding surprised. “You hit me you little bitch!” He yelled, pulling a gun out of his jacket. Her eyes widened as she stared down the barrel, she saw a sudden flash.
Her eye shot open, she was breathing heavily. She reached out and gripped some sand-like soil in her hands. She didn’t recognize where she was.
She sat up, slowly looking around. First she saw Julia, fallen on the ground. Then she saw Dana, pinned to the ground with Leland on top of her choking her to death, while screaming at her to kill him. She wasn’t looking good. Any movement she made was slow, she was dying.
Kiera forced herself to her feet. She began shuffling forwards, her body felt numb. She spotted something on the ground and picked it up, a small knife. She decided to put it in her pocket.
She stood only a few feet from Leland now, Dana barely seemed conscious. He seemed to not be relenting. She did the only thing she could think of. She ran as fast as she could forwards at Leland, bringing her leg upwards.
He cartwheeled off of Dana, who began coughing and gasping for air.
“Leave her alone!” Kiera screamed at him.
“Do you want to be the hero now?” He asked. “Do you want to kill the villain?” He sounded deranged, like something had snapped. He moved to fast for Kiera to even react. He jumped forwards at her, and she felt a pain in her stomach. She looked down and saw a small blade sticking out of her body. Her legs buckled underneath her and she fell to the ground, barely staying upright.
Her hand found its way into her pocket, her finger brushing over the handle of the knife. She brought it upwards, slashing through the air above her. She didn’t hear him say anything, or make a sound of pain. When she looked up she saw him holding his throat, as blood seeped through his fingers. Kiera felt a tear roll down her cheek as she watched him fall to his knees.
“I’m sorry.” She said. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you.” He said. “Thank y-“ He fell forwards before he could even finish his sentence. Kiera felt a wave of numbness roll over her again. She couldn’t feel anything.
“Kiera?” A voice asked. Kiera managed to turn her head to the side and see Dana climbing to her feet. “H-He’s dead…” She said. Kiera felt her body list to the side. She was expecting to fall to the ground, turns out she was closer to the edge of the canyon than she thought. She felt her body become weightless as she fell downwards.
The last thing she saw before she succumbed to her wound was Dana sailing over the edge of the cliff after her.
[Save Micheal] Well... obviously I'm not wanting him to die here, simple as that. I like Kasey and I feel bad for her, but there's no way I'm not going to save Michael.
Amazing part! Man, I did not see this coming. Like, almost everything. I don't believe a word Leland said, about trying to fix everything. For someone who was just about to kill all of them and who brainwashed not only an army to defend himself, but also people like Alina, this came a bit too fast to be genuine. It had to be some sort of trick. Julia saw right through his lies and it was good she stabbed him. Though, she's not dead, isn't she? I mean, he probably got her badly, but he only punched her, not smashed her head in or anything like that, right? Right? Oh man, you got me worried now And then he went on to dangerously wound Kiera as well just before dying himself. Though I guess the fact that he was able to die was a result of Julia being close to him, so whatever power she has over him still works, so that means she's likely still alive. Phew... Also, I am glad Leland is dead. He had it more than coming, after all the people he killed, his schemes, brainwashing a whole army, the way he treated Julia even in this part. He deserved to die and it is good to see that he finally got his comeuppance. Kiera was probably the last person I thought would kill him, but still, she did an amazing job with this. Now I hope that Dana somehow manages to save her. At least that's what I think she's trying to do by jumping after her.
. “Do it, you can’t, you won’t. You’re afraid of me, you’re afraid of power. You’re afraid to fight back, Kiera. That’s what makes you so we… moreak.”
“I’m not weak.” She said, his grip tightening.
“Show me.” He snarled. “Fight back for once in your God dammed life. Do something. Fight back!” He screamed in her face. She tried to shrink away from him, but couldn’t get any farther than she already was.
“Y-you’re hurting me.” Kiera cried as she gasped for air.
“I don’t care, Kiera. I never have.” He said. “Just fight back Kiera, do it.”
“I can’t.” She cried.
“Do it!” He screamed, flinging spit into her face. A mixture of fear and rage that had been boiling inside of Kiera for as long as she could remember suddenly boiled over. She snapped, her arm found its way upwards with tremendous speed. He let go of her as he stumbled a few steps back, grabbing his stomach.
“Y-You fought back.” He said, sounding surprised. “You hit me you l… [view original content]
Mainly because Michael and Julia have grown on me, and Julia's been through a lot and she doesn't deserve to be hurt anymore. Sure, Dana's lost plenty, but Julia could lose her powers, it would probably kill her to lose her brother as well.
. “Do it, you can’t, you won’t. You’re afraid of me, you’re afraid of power. You’re afraid to fight back, Kiera. That’s what makes you so we… moreak.”
“I’m not weak.” She said, his grip tightening.
“Show me.” He snarled. “Fight back for once in your God dammed life. Do something. Fight back!” He screamed in her face. She tried to shrink away from him, but couldn’t get any farther than she already was.
“Y-you’re hurting me.” Kiera cried as she gasped for air.
“I don’t care, Kiera. I never have.” He said. “Just fight back Kiera, do it.”
“I can’t.” She cried.
“Do it!” He screamed, flinging spit into her face. A mixture of fear and rage that had been boiling inside of Kiera for as long as she could remember suddenly boiled over. She snapped, her arm found its way upwards with tremendous speed. He let go of her as he stumbled a few steps back, grabbing his stomach.
“Y-You fought back.” He said, sounding surprised. “You hit me you l… [view original content]
I like both of them but imighthavebrokenit has a good argument. Julia has been through very much and after these experiences she needs her brother at her side to recover. Being the lover of an insane and immortal demigod sounds traumatizing enough and I dont want her to deal with Michaels death too. I just feel so sorry for Dana too
I wonder if Leland was honest in his words to Dana and Julia. It sounded like a trick but a part of me thinks he was honest. But he will not be missed, he really had it coming.
. “Do it, you can’t, you won’t. You’re afraid of me, you’re afraid of power. You’re afraid to fight back, Kiera. That’s what makes you so we… moreak.”
“I’m not weak.” She said, his grip tightening.
“Show me.” He snarled. “Fight back for once in your God dammed life. Do something. Fight back!” He screamed in her face. She tried to shrink away from him, but couldn’t get any farther than she already was.
“Y-you’re hurting me.” Kiera cried as she gasped for air.
“I don’t care, Kiera. I never have.” He said. “Just fight back Kiera, do it.”
“I can’t.” She cried.
“Do it!” He screamed, flinging spit into her face. A mixture of fear and rage that had been boiling inside of Kiera for as long as she could remember suddenly boiled over. She snapped, her arm found its way upwards with tremendous speed. He let go of her as he stumbled a few steps back, grabbing his stomach.
“Y-You fought back.” He said, sounding surprised. “You hit me you l… [view original content]
[Save Micheal] I like Kasey but Micheal's grown on me a lot more. He's been a big asset to the team and it would be cruel to have Julia lose her brother after everything that's happened. They're both great characters it'll be sad to see one of them go (;-; )
Great part, I just started reading this story and I'm really into it so far, I can't wait to find out what happens to Dana ^-^ I submitted a character a couple weeks ago I think, if you still need characters
. “Do it, you can’t, you won’t. You’re afraid of me, you’re afraid of power. You’re afraid to fight back, Kiera. That’s what makes you so we… moreak.”
“I’m not weak.” She said, his grip tightening.
“Show me.” He snarled. “Fight back for once in your God dammed life. Do something. Fight back!” He screamed in her face. She tried to shrink away from him, but couldn’t get any farther than she already was.
“Y-you’re hurting me.” Kiera cried as she gasped for air.
“I don’t care, Kiera. I never have.” He said. “Just fight back Kiera, do it.”
“I can’t.” She cried.
“Do it!” He screamed, flinging spit into her face. A mixture of fear and rage that had been boiling inside of Kiera for as long as she could remember suddenly boiled over. She snapped, her arm found its way upwards with tremendous speed. He let go of her as he stumbled a few steps back, grabbing his stomach.
“Y-You fought back.” He said, sounding surprised. “You hit me you l… [view original content]
Time’s up. Make a choice, live with the consequences.
For being someone who’s friends with a time traveler, he really wished he had more time. Hell, he wished he could just go back in time and stop any of this from ever happening.
But sadly, that’s not how this worked. Not this time.
It came down to one life or another, and he chose. He chose Micheal over Kasey.
Julia over Dana, in a sense.
Only if he had more time.
This was no place to take your time. This was only a place to act, and to deal with the consequences.
Steel hit flesh, the brutal sound of blade meeting bone. The savage cries of those he ripped apart.
They were so focused on Micheal they neglected to take noticed of Adam’s advance. They stood no chance against Adam. One by one they fell like flies, until it was only Micheal and Adam. Micheal looked at Adam, pure shock on his face.
“Where is she?” He asked. “Where’s Kasey?” Adam turned and looked to where Kasey had just stood, defending herself against a mob. The place she stood no longer. She lay there on the ground, her body cut and slashed, blood dripping from the corners of her mouth, staining the field they stood in red. She gazed unendingly upwards into the sky above.
“She’s…” Adam began, suddenly disgusted with himself. “She’s dead.” Micheal dropped to his knees, right there on the field. Just looking at the poor girls body. She deserved better than this. Her life should’ve been so much more than this. Adam couldn’t help but to remember what Dana had asked of him earlier that day.
“No matter what happens today, you’ve got to promise me you’ll keep Kasey safe.” She had said.
“I can do that.” He had responded.
He couldn’t do that. He didn’t keep his promise. He let her die, despite his promise, to save Micheal. He didn’t regret saving Micheal, but he only wished he could’ve saved both.
Adam couldn’t help but to look up, the frenzied war around him raged on, but none of it was directed at him. It was just like standing in a bubble watching a war documentary play on, not like he was there.
He spotted Wade in the mess, he wasn’t fighting. He was trying to hold a young girl back. She didn’t look like she belonged here, in this time. She had long black hair and green eyes, Adam had never seen her before. But it was obvious she was being controlled by Leland’s hive-mind.
Wade held her arms as she tried to pull away from him. He kept yelling something to her, Adam couldn’t hear over the screaming and clashing of metal, but it must’ve been something along the lines of ‘you’ll get yourself killed’
Adam’s bubble suddenly burst. He saw a woman running right at him, pitchfork in her hands. She was nobody, just another slave to Leland. Just some poor peasant who’d been caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Adam sidestepped her, grabbing the shaft of the pitchfork. He drove it downwards and it buried itself into the ground. She let go of the tool turned weapon and stumbled back. She looked at Adam, confused.
“Who are you?” She tried to ask, but failed at even getting the words out of her mouth before Adam swung his sword, nearly taking the poor woman’s head off in one swing. Her body crumpled to the ground, Adam knew she was dead. He knew none of this was her fault. But he just went on anyways. He hacked at the dead body with his sword, chopped into her like she was nothing more than cattle for the butcher.
Blood stained his face, his clothes.
“Dad, how do you become a hero?” He’d once asked his father, who was probably already past the point of drunk. He’d looked over at him, eyes glazed over, alcohol on his breath.
“There are none in this world.” He’d said. Adam didn’t like his father, didn’t respect him one bit. The day he died was probably one of the happiest days of his life. But for some reason, that one statement never left his mind. It haunted him.
“Adam, can I ask you something?” One of his younger siblings asked. He never could remember which one.
“What is it?” Adam asked as he peered at the pond. They’d snuck out of the house to hide, their father was drunk again.
“Do you think we can change the world?” They asked. Adam shook his head.
“No.” Adam said. “We can’t. We can only learn to live with it.”
“Oh.” Was their only response. Adam couldn’t remember much of his family after that, they fell apart. Adam joined the army. End of story.
Adam raised the blade once more. There are no heroes. Only figures you invent in your head to help you sleep at night.
“Adam!” A voice yelled. “Adam stop!” He turned around, looking at the voice. Dana. Dana was back. He looked around, nobody was fighting. They were all shuffling around, lost. Nobody understood anything that was happening. Everyone had waken from the hive-mind and once again become self-conscious.
“What… How…” Adam stuttered.
“Leland is dead.” Dana explained as she walked closer to him. He dropped the sword into the ground, feeling her hand touch his shoulder. “Kiera killed him.” He looked up at her at the mention of her name.
“She’s alive?” He asked. It had never crossed his mind before that she still may be alive through all of this.
“Barely.” Dana said. “She got stabbed, but she saved my life and the entire world.” Adam looked back down. He didn’t deserve to be happy. Not now, not never.
“Dana… Kasey’s dead.” He said. “I couldn’t save her.”
“No…” Her voice trailed. She fell to her knees, her eyes filling with tears. There was no filter. It just all came out. She broke, like someone released the floodgates. Adam saw Wade still holding the young woman, but now in a different way. She buried her head into his shoulder like she knew him and he acted as if he knew her.
He locked eyes with Adam for a moment, and seemed to understand what had happened. He released the girl and began treading across the blood soaked field.
“What happened?” He asked.
“Kasey… Kasey’s dead.” Adam said.
“Where is she?” Wade asked. Adam looked over towards the body. “There.” Wade nodded at Adam. He began walking towards Kasey. He dropped to one knee in front of her, running his hand through her long silky blonde hair. He turned towards Adam. “So I guess this is it then?” He asked.
“What do you mean?” Adam asked. A sly smile crawled along his face.
“Death demands death.” He said. He placed his hand over her chest. His expression quickly became pained, the soft glow at his hand brightened. Adam watched, nearly in horror, as Wade began flickering, like a lightbulb. His very essence was being drained from him. He was giving Kasey his life. He looked over at Adam for half a second, and then disappeared. Like he was never even there.
Almost instantly he heard Kasey cough. She slowly sat up, looking around. The blood was still stained on her pale skin, but there were no wounds.
“Ouch.” Was all she muttered. Adam breathed a sigh of relief as she pushed herself uneasily to her feet.
“Easy there kid.” Micheal said. “You were just dead a moment ago.” Her eyes went big.
“What?” She asked.
“Story for another time.” Dana said as she rushed forwards, wrapping her sister in her arms. “Don’t ever do that to me again.” Kasey looked confused still, but with each passing moment it seemed like she was piecing it together.
“I don’t plan on dying for a while.” Kasey said. “But I’d kill to go back to the 21st century.”
“That’s a plan I can agree on.” Micheal said.
“Me too.” Julia said as she joined them. Adam looked at them all, standing there, then to Dana.
“What about everyone else?” Adam asked.
“If they’re alive, my people will bring them home.” Dana said.
“What about Kiera?” He asked.
“I don’t know.” Dana said. “With any luck, she’ll get better.”
“So what do we do now?” Adam asked.
“We go home.” Dana said.
“And then what?” Adam asked. “Act like everything’s normal?”
“Adam, we both know there’s no normal for any of us.” Dana said. “We just have to find a way to deal with it.”
“Alright then.” Adam said. “Let’s go home.”
Alright guys, stay tuned for the upcoming epilogue! (And yes, that means that this is almost done.) It’s been great to be here, writing this. This has been one of my favorite stories I have and I hope you al enjoyed it. Thank you all for sticking with me through it all!
So, now that it’s over, I guess now’s the time for questions.
1.) Favorite Character?
2.) Least favorite Character?
3.) What was the biggest WTF moment for you?
4.) Which character do you think changed the most through the story?
5.) What was your favorite part in the entire story?
My god, this was amazing! Together with the last part, it formed a wonderful finale that left little to be desired. And I am amazed by the fact that it ended mostly happy! Julia is alive and fine, despite getting the shit beaten out by Leland, Dana is still alive and fine, even Kiera is still alive. And Michael and Kasey, which is just great. Wade... well, he got a heroic death, I can give him that. I still don't feel much for him, but his death was nonetheless quite sad, even if it brought us Kasey back. I wonder, would he have done the same for Michael?
1.) Favorite Character?
Hehe, take a guess Though, surprisingly it is not Julia. She had a very strong presence in the first part of the story, but I feel after Dana managed to resurrect her she took a background role for the most part. I mean, I still love her and she is among my favourite characters, but my absolute favourite now has to be Dana. She really stepped up big time during the story, from the messed up drug addict to the demigod and one of the most central characters in the entire story. She was just great and she had some of the best lines in the story. Another one who slowly found her place into my favourites is Kiera. Unlike Dana, she's not some ridiculously powerful superhuman. She doesn't have Julia's sharp sarcasm or her fascinating connection to Leland. However, she provides the interesting part of a very likeable, but completely ordinary woman, who's in way over her head in all of this, but who still does not run away and instead helps out wherever she can. She was perhaps the least likely person to kill the big bad villain, but that actually made it all the more fitting and ironic. Usually, I'd name Adam as well in this question, but I feel kinda shocked about his very final action in this battle, where he basically killed a defenceless woman that already came back to her senses. For me, the moment she asked a question and looked confused, it was clear to me that Leland's control over them had faded, so I find it hard to see Adam killing her as anything but unnecessary murder. That cost him major sympathy points, but he is still not among my least favourite characters. So, Dana and Julia and Kiera for the favourites.
2.) Least favorite Character?
Uh... hard question. You know I struggle with this. Leland perhaps? Sure he is the antagonist, so he is an obvious choice. And he clearly was a piece of shit. Then again, he was clearly meant to be hated and despised, so it feels lazy to just name him. I must say, while I didn't hate him, I felt little for Wade and when he gave his life to save Kasey, I was just happy that she was back and not that much saddened by his death. I did not hate him, but unlike the other characters I did not like him either. I felt neutral about him, which makes him my second least favourite character.
3.) What was the biggest WTF moment for you?
The reveal of the powers. Like, nothing up to then has even hinted at it, but it still worked, so this was an extremely well done plot twist, that also changed the direction of the entire story, like no other choice after it even had a chance to do. Until then, the story was fairly mundane, despite a number of odd events, like the cop that was brutally killed at Michael's house, but nothing that was outright and openly supernatural. And then, all of a sudden, Julia survived being shot in the heart and my jaw just dropped.
4.) Which character do you think changed the most through the story?
Dana. I already said it above, she basically started with her life being a complete mess, but then she showed her powers, got stronger and stronger, both in terms of personality and powers, until it was revealed that she is Leland's sister and so much more powerful than anyone else. She really stepped up during the story and I think she had the biggest change, especially in terms of personality.
5.) What was your favorite part in the entire story?
I think I say it once again, the part where the powers got revealed. It was the biggest twist in the story by far, it had me at the edge of my seat and actually, it had not one, but two huge WTF moments. The first was when Gerald just casually shot Julia, after he previously implied that he wants all of them alive. The second one was when she just returned back to live. Definitely the part with the biggest shock moments and a game changer for sure.
6.) Least favorite part?
You ask this question every time and I can only give you the same answer every time Nope, there is no least favourite part. I'm sure there is one part I enjoyed less than others, but none I consciously disliked.
7.) Did this story live up to your expectations?
At first I wanted to say it exceeded my expectations, but that implies I went into the story with low expectations. I didn't. From your earlier work, I had very high expectations and you met these high expectations and in some cases, you certainly exceeded them. It was an amazingly well-done story and I'm certainly going to miss it.
8.) What were the story’s strengths
Well, first of all there is your writing in general. I feel like it developed greatly, from strong to super strong and some of the latest parts (and also some of the latest parts in your other stories) have been among the best things I read here in the forum. Your writing was a huge strength to the story, as it brought the wonderful world you created here and all of its characters, to live. The characters were another strength. This is pretty much given with your stories, but I felt attached to almost every character and felt they all brought up something unique to the table, which is not easy to pull off. Then, there is the storyline, which has been so unpredictable that I felt myself constantly wondering what's going to happen next. Like, in other stories I can make predictions, which is fun as well, but here I literally had no idea what would happen next.
9.) It’s weaknesses?
Which unfortunately also brings me to its weakness. Singular, because there is only one I have seen. Its the twists. I'm not sure if it has already been brought up, but at times, the number of twists was too damn high. Like, it helped with keeping the story unpredictable, but sometimes I felt like promising ideas and scenarios have been shelved too early. Mostly, they were shelved in favour of other intriguing scenarios, but at times I would have wished for more development to certain things before the situation changes again. There was the thing with the abductions and with Julia and the others trying to escape, which I feel was a storyline that ended too early when Gerald and his people got involved. Then, Gerald turned out to be a bad guy just two parts later, before getting killed in the same part. There were Piper and her elite squad, which just dropped from the story after Piper got killed. There was the beginning military storyline and it even introduced promising characters like Skylar and Sean, who received some build up but never appeared again after the storyline in Rosenberg's secret lab began. There was the storyline in the simulation, which brought a lot of unique elements to the table, some of which never got important again and then there was the whole Rosenberg stuff in general, which I feel also ended too quickly. Finally, the future storyline, which I think ended far too early. On the one hand, I was happy to see Julia back alive so soon after it begun, but at the same time, the thought of exploring a timeline in which Leland simply won held a lot of intriguing ideas, like, what is he doing now, is Julia already reincarnated, are there other characters who perhaps fight against Leland in the future. I mean, don't get me wrong. This is my longest answer to a question, but that does not mean that I disliked the story. In fact, as you can see above, I loved the story and I loved each of these unique storylines, I just would have wished they would have been explored in more detail before leading to the next storyline.
10.) Any questions you have left?
Yes, I just remembered, what happened to Callista and Gilligan? Gilligan had at least a lot to do in the first half of the story, but Callista, I think, is by far the least developed character in the story and the only one I feel could have used more development. They stayed behind in the present if I'm not mistaken, but the last time I know for sure we saw them was before Adam, Michael, Julia and co. got down into Rosenberg's lab again, where they went to the military guys. Will they appear in the epilogue? Also, one question about Leland: Was he honest in his final moments? Like, his offer to Dana and Julia, to give them a normal live and then to simply disappear from affairs of mortals, was it genuine?
11.) Anything else?
First of all, thank you for writing this wonderful story! It has been one hell of a ride, almost for an entire year. No longer having this story and these wonderful characters to read about will be odd and I am both, happy to see that it got such a deserving and well-done finale, and sad at the thought that this was the finale, and the penultimate part. I am extremely excited for the epilogue and I can't wait to see what is going to happen to all of these wonderful characters in it.
Then, I have another question, though one that is unrelated to The Forgotten. Now that it is about to be finished, have you considered starting another story? You've managed to fair very well with three stories at once, so it feels weird to have only two of you left to read for the time being. There is The Dark before the Dawn and Youngstown, but I'd certainly love to see a new story from you as well. As long as you have fun writing these, I will read them, because you have some serious, awe-inspiring talent and well, I would be happy seeing more of it and having another of your stories to read.
Also, because I have the slight feeling mr.quality is too decent to be that guy, consider this a shameless and not-very-subtle shout-out to the two wonderful stories I so slyly linked above, The Dark before the Dawn and Youngstown, to those who read this text but who have not yet read these stories, which means @imighthavebrokenit and @Clem_In_The_Pines. Forgive me for directly tagging you in this comment, but if it succeeds in gaining your attention, a man regrets nothing. Both of these stories are written by mr.quality, so I think it's okay if I promote them here in a needlessly lengthy way, right? I mean, maybe that means new readers and who doesn't love new readers? I know, I'd love having a few new faces and opinions around in these stories and I'm not even the writer. Here's the best thing first: Both stories show no sign of ending anytime soon. In fact, Youngstown seems like it's just getting started. Both of these stories are amazingly written and in fact, I feel like the Dark before the Dawn contains some of mr.quality's finest writing to date, especially the most recent parts. On top of that, both definitely deserve another one or two readers. Actually, one or two dozen, but I'd be happy if I reach at least you two with this heartfelt shout-out. Especially the Dark before the Dawn is down to two, with janitor and me, and well, this amazing story simply deserves more and it breaks my heart to see how finely crafted these parts are and how few people actually read them in contrast. I noticed, at least in case of Clem_In_The_Pines, you unfortunately joined this particular story very late and I think perhaps you'd be happy to have a story written by the very same talented guy in which you actually have the chance to participate this time And imighthavebrokenit, I know you enjoy a good story, so take my word for it, these two stories are among the best you'll find here!
So, once again, there is The Dark before the Dawn, a story set in the United States during a war against a powerful terrorist organization who launched a fullblown invasion of the US, while Youngstown is, well, also set in the US, but is set after a virus caused society to collapse. Technically, Youngstown is the sequel to one of mr.quality's earlier stories, Stranded, but as someone who read and loved both stories, I actually feel like Youngstown can be read without necessarily needing any prior knowledge, as 90% of the cast and most of the storylines are largely unconnected to the previous story. If I succeeded in gaining your interest, I'd be overjoyed to see you around there. As much fun as reading these two stories is, I feel like they will be even more enjoyable with more people who like them.
Adam Becker
No time left.
Time’s up. Make a choice, live with the consequences.
For being someone who’s friends with a time travele… morer, he really wished he had more time. Hell, he wished he could just go back in time and stop any of this from ever happening.
But sadly, that’s not how this worked. Not this time.
It came down to one life or another, and he chose. He chose Micheal over Kasey.
Julia over Dana, in a sense.
Only if he had more time.
This was no place to take your time. This was only a place to act, and to deal with the consequences.
Steel hit flesh, the brutal sound of blade meeting bone. The savage cries of those he ripped apart.
They were so focused on Micheal they neglected to take noticed of Adam’s advance. They stood no chance against Adam. One by one they fell like flies, until it was only Micheal and Adam. Micheal looked at Adam, pure shock on his face.
“Where is she?” He asked. “Where’s Kasey?… [view original content]
Forgive me for directly tagging you in this comment, but if it succeeds in gaining your attention, a man regrets nothing.
All is forgiven, since it actually helped clear up my notifications and it's for a good cause
I feel like the Dark before the Dawn contains some of mr.quality's finest writing to date, especially the most recent parts.
The Dark before the Dawn is one of the stories that I've been meaning to catch up on now that summer is around, but it keeps slipping my mind, so thank you for reminding me.
And imighthavebrokenit, I know you enjoy a good story, so take my word for it, these two stories are among the best you'll find here!
True and now I've got way too much time on my hands, so I'm good for a few reads.
Youngstown is, well, also set in the US, but is set after a virus caused society to collapse.
It sounds interesting, I'll give it a read
And mr.quality, I'm not so good at answering questions, so I might or might not answer those later. In the meanwhile, I wanted to tell you that this was an absolutely amazing story. I know I lost touch of it for a while at times, but I am so glad I caught up. Being here from beginning to end, despite the occasional breaks, I know that Liquid, along with myself, warched this story grow and advance and Liquid has expressed his feelings towards it, but I wanted to say that what you've done is great. I enjoyed the story from beginning to end and I can't wait to see more from you.
If you ever decide to write something new, let me know, because I'll be glad to read more from you.
My god, this was amazing! Together with the last part, it formed a wonderful finale that left little to be desired. And I am amazed by the f… moreact that it ended mostly happy! Julia is alive and fine, despite getting the shit beaten out by Leland, Dana is still alive and fine, even Kiera is still alive. And Michael and Kasey, which is just great. Wade... well, he got a heroic death, I can give him that. I still don't feel much for him, but his death was nonetheless quite sad, even if it brought us Kasey back. I wonder, would he have done the same for Michael?
1.) Favorite Character?
Hehe, take a guess Though, surprisingly it is not Julia. She had a very strong presence in the first part of the story, but I feel after Dana managed to resurrect her she took a background role for the most part. I mean, I still love her and she is among my favourite characters, but my absolute favourite now has to be Dana. She really stepped up big time during… [view original content]
Gosh Liquid... You nearly made me cry there. So uh... Let's get down to this.
Hehe, take a guess
Julia?
Though, surprisingly it is not Julia.
What? This is a big surprise coming form you, as throughout most of the story you've remand adamant that Julia was your de facto favorite. But, seeing as you've noted Dana as you're favorite, I can agree. Dana was totally one of my favorite characters to write, and I feel like I watched her grown up just as much as you guys did. I mean in general, when I look back at this story, I feel like a proud father (In a non-weird way (If there is one))
Also, Kiera. She was definitely fun. I remember when I decided to make her, I was reading through my story and just wondered "What if I put a completely normal person in this story?" I loved just writing a normal person and not a super human that regularly superseded emotion. I felt like it was a good refresher, for me at least, that you don't have to be some sort of superman to be a hero.
She was perhaps the least likely person to kill the big bad villain, but that actually made it all the more fitting and ironic.
I actually spent a lot of time pondering over this in my head, who I wanted to kill Leland. Even for a little while, I wasn't eve going to kill Leland. It was meant, for me at least, to be a powerful moment. It was like a sly way of saying 'everything has changed' but also retaining a human face on it all.
Usually, I'd name Adam as well in this question, but I feel kinda shocked about his very final action in this battle, where he basically killed a defenceless woman that already came back to her senses.
Again, this is one of those 'everything has changed' moments for me. It's a breaking point for one of our ever-strong central characters who's finally reached a breaking point and just snapped. I guess we'll see how he deals with this in the prologue.
Leland perhaps? Sure he is the antagonist, so he is an obvious choice. And he clearly was a piece of shit.
Hey, antagonists are meant to be hated. If he made it onto your list, I'm doing it right.
I must say, while I didn't hate him, I felt little for Wade
Yeah, I feel like I really failed with Wade. When I originally started with him I wanted a character that mimicked me in some ways, then I was looking over it and I was just like 'Wait. This is nothing like me in any way.' and really gave up, and ended up just using him as fodder. I feel like I surely could've done a better job there.
The reveal of the powers. Like, nothing up to then has even hinted at it, but it still worked, so this was an extremely well done plot twist, that also changed the direction of the entire story, like no other choice after it even had a chance to do. Until then, the story was fairly mundane, despite a number of odd events, like the cop that was brutally killed at Michael's house, but nothing that was outright and openly supernatural. And then, all of a sudden, Julia survived being shot in the heart and my jaw just dropped.
Well, here's a big one. I'm going to be honest here and say that up until that point, I had absolutely no intentions on having superpowers in this story at all. I was going to take it in a totally different direction and it probably would've mimicked season 1 of Lost. I think the idea of powers came in after I started watching Heroes on Netflix. Not sure though.
Dana. I already said it above, she basically started with her life being a complete mess, but then she showed her powers, got stronger and stronger, both in terms of personality and powers, until it was revealed that she is Leland's sister and so much more powerful than anyone else. She really stepped up during the story and I think she had the biggest change, especially in terms of personality.
Like I've said, she was one of my favorites. I've enjoyed molding her throughout the story and even as I just wrote her as a character in the first part she was in, I couldn't help but think 'Yeah, she's going to be a star player'. To me she really brought a lot to the story, and I liked that fact that she was in no way the 'average' woman. Some people would've counted her out after they realized she was a drug addict, but I really played on the lines of 'Anyone can be anything' and throughout the story I really enjoyed using her as a great example.
At first I wanted to say it exceeded my expectations, but that implies I went into the story with low expectations. I didn't. From your earlier work, I had very high expectations and you met these high expectations and in some cases, you certainly exceeded them. It was an amazingly well-done story and I'm certainly going to miss it.
Thank you so much Liquid. I'm sure I've said it before, but I'll say it again. You've been a great inspiration to me this entire time, and I really love your writings. If I've gotten a nod from you, I feel like I've accomplished something great.
Well, first of all there is your writing in general. I feel like it developed greatly, from strong to super strong and some of the latest parts (and also some of the latest parts in your other stories) have been among the best things I read here in the forum. Your writing was a huge strength to the story, as it brought the wonderful world you created here and all of its characters, to live. The characters were another strength. This is pretty much given with your stories, but I felt attached to almost every character and felt they all brought up something unique to the table, which is not easy to pull off. Then, there is the storyline, which has been so unpredictable that I felt myself constantly wondering what's going to happen next. Like, in other stories I can make predictions, which is fun as well, but here I literally had no idea what would happen next.
I really had a lot of fun messing with the characters, no matter how many times I had to go back and rewrite a part. I really tried to make it seem like no one character was better than another, in the sense that each on of them was completely different and had their own skills. And, if I'm to be honest, half the time I had no idea where the story was going until I sat down and began writing a part. Every once in a while, I'd look at a part and just completely shock myself and what I came up with.
Which unfortunately also brings me to its weakness. Singular, because there is only one I have seen. Its the twists. I'm not sure if it has already been brought up, but at times, the number of twists was too damn high. Like, it helped with keeping the story unpredictable, but sometimes I felt like promising ideas and scenarios have been shelved too early.
Yes, I too have come to realize this. Sometimes when i write I like to imagine myself as M Night Shyamalan. No but seriously, this was mostly due to the fact that sometimes I have difficulty focusing and can't always keep my thoughts straight, and as you've said I'd glossed over many interesting story lines and characters, and this is one of my biggest flaws in all of my writings. And sometimes I just rushed plot development. Honestly, If I could go back, I would've kept Piper alive a lot longer. Early on, she was one of my favorites.
Yes, I just remembered, what happened to Callista and Gilligan? Gilligan had at least a lot to do in the first half of the story, but Callista, I think, is by far the least developed character in the story and the only one I feel could have used more development. They stayed behind in the present if I'm not mistaken, but the last time I know for sure we saw them was before Adam, Michael, Julia and co. got down into Rosenberg's lab again, where they went to the military guys. Will they appear in the epilogue?
Well, they're still back in 'the present' (Excuse me, I've ruined my own sense of time by writing this) If we do or don't see them again, I don't know. Maybe we'll see them in the epilogue, or maybe they'll be forgotten. (See what I did there?) And then there's Callista. She was a great character, lots of potential. I feel like I ruined her by rushing plot and forcing her to take a backseat to Julia and Micheal throughout most the story.
Also, one question about Leland: Was he honest in his final moments? Like, his offer to Dana and Julia, to give them a normal live and then to simply disappear from affairs of mortals, was it genuine?
No. Not at all. I don't even feel like I managed to make it sound even at all genuine. His only intention was to get rid of Julia's and Dana's powers so he could be the only one with the power to change history. And while I'm on the subject. the Council of Time and Leland have kept each other balanced for most of written history, with Leland gone... Can we trust them anymore than we trust him? I don't know. Just sounds like an interesting idea.
First of all, thank you for writing this wonderful story! It has been one hell of a ride, almost for an entire year. No longer having this story and these wonderful characters to read about will be odd and I am both, happy to see that it got such a deserving and well-done finale, and sad at the thought that this was the finale, and the penultimate part. I am extremely excited for the epilogue and I can't wait to see what is going to happen to all of these wonderful characters in it.
Again, thank you so much for sticking with me throughout all of this. It's been both an honor and a pleasure to do this. It's been a roller coaster of emotions and a merry go round of plot development. Thank you for sticking it out throughout the entire carnival. You sir, deserve a cookie. Sadly, my reserves are a little dry.
Then, I have another question, though one that is unrelated to The Forgotten. Now that it is about to be finished, have you considered starting another story? You've managed to fair very well with three stories at once, so it feels weird to have only two of you left to read for the time being.
Hmm. Currently, I have no idea if I'll start a new one. I'm currently writing a side-story among some of my friends and have thought about writing a forum version of it, but I felt like it would be too inflammatory due to its nature. I do have another idea, though, but I'm not sure if I'll put it into action. You'll be the first to know if anything develops though!
As much fun as reading these two stories is, I feel like they will be even more enjoyable with more people who like them.
For me too. It feels like so much more of a rewards when you get lots of people interested in something. And honestly, it's the readers that make the story. I wouldn't be writing if it weren't for you guys. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. You're the best readers anyone could've asked for.
My god, this was amazing! Together with the last part, it formed a wonderful finale that left little to be desired. And I am amazed by the f… moreact that it ended mostly happy! Julia is alive and fine, despite getting the shit beaten out by Leland, Dana is still alive and fine, even Kiera is still alive. And Michael and Kasey, which is just great. Wade... well, he got a heroic death, I can give him that. I still don't feel much for him, but his death was nonetheless quite sad, even if it brought us Kasey back. I wonder, would he have done the same for Michael?
1.) Favorite Character?
Hehe, take a guess Though, surprisingly it is not Julia. She had a very strong presence in the first part of the story, but I feel after Dana managed to resurrect her she took a background role for the most part. I mean, I still love her and she is among my favourite characters, but my absolute favourite now has to be Dana. She really stepped up big time during… [view original content]
And mr.quality, I'm not so good at answering questions, so I might or might not answer those later. In the meanwhile, I wanted to tell you that this was an absolutely amazing story. I know I lost touch of it for a while at times, but I am so glad I caught up. Being here from beginning to end, despite the occasional breaks, I know that Liquid, along with myself, warched this story grow and advance and Liquid has expressed his feelings towards it, but I wanted to say that what you've done is great. I enjoyed the story from beginning to end and I can't wait to see more from you.
That's okay. They call holidays an option for a reason. I'm glad that I've had you here through the entire thing. It's been great, one heck of a ride. I'd shake oyur hand right now, if not for a screen between us. Virtual Handshakes
Forgive me for directly tagging you in this comment, but if it succeeds in gaining your attention, a man regrets nothing.
All is for… moregiven, since it actually helped clear up my notifications and it's for a good cause
I feel like the Dark before the Dawn contains some of mr.quality's finest writing to date, especially the most recent parts.
The Dark before the Dawn is one of the stories that I've been meaning to catch up on now that summer is around, but it keeps slipping my mind, so thank you for reminding me.
And imighthavebrokenit, I know you enjoy a good story, so take my word for it, these two stories are among the best you'll find here!
True and now I've got way too much time on my hands, so I'm good for a few reads.
Youngstown is, well, also set in the US, but is set after a virus caused society to collapse.
It sounds interesting, I'll give it a read
And mr.quality, I'm not so good at… [view original content]
And mr.quality, I'm not so good at answering questions, so I might or might not answer those later. In the meanwhile, I wanted to tell you t… morehat this was an absolutely amazing story. I know I lost touch of it for a while at times, but I am so glad I caught up. Being here from beginning to end, despite the occasional breaks, I know that Liquid, along with myself, warched this story grow and advance and Liquid has expressed his feelings towards it, but I wanted to say that what you've done is great. I enjoyed the story from beginning to end and I can't wait to see more from you.
That's okay. They call holidays an option for a reason. I'm glad that I've had you here through the entire thing. It's been great, one heck of a ride. I'd shake oyur hand right now, if not for a screen between us. Virtual Handshakes
What? This is a big surprise coming form you, as throughout most of the story you've remand adamant that Julia was your de facto favorite. But, seeing as you've noted Dana as you're favorite, I can agree. Dana was totally one of my favorite characters to write, and I feel like I watched her grown up just as much as you guys did. I mean in general, when I look back at this story, I feel like a proud father (In a non-weird way (If there is one))
This was actually a big step for me. Despite the fact that I always try my best to keep an open mind, I am perhaps still the most biased person on this planet when it comes to my characters. Julia was my favourite for a very long time, but I feel that especially in the final quarter of the story, Dana just became the most important and most well-written character in the story without a doubt. She had such a strong development that it would feel like a crime not to name her as my favourite character. She was truly amazing!
I actually spent a lot of time pondering over this in my head, who I wanted to kill Leland. Even for a little while, I wasn't eve going to kill Leland. It was meant, for me at least, to be a powerful moment. It was like a sly way of saying 'everything has changed' but also retaining a human face on it all.
That is true, it was a very powerful moment. As the only one without any sort of special power, she was perhaps the least likely person on the entire battlefield to kill Leland, which made it all the more awesome and fitting, especially once I realized Leland's opinion on ordinary humans. From his own perspective, it was probably the worst death for him to be killed by one of these lesser beings. There's also the thing, Julia and Dana had personal grudges towards Leland, but Kiera ultimately had no prior connection to him and only small connections to them. She did not kill him for revenge or to be free of him, she was simply an ordinary person who still did something very heroic, which I think sends a powerful message.
Yeah, I feel like I really failed with Wade. When I originally started with him I wanted a character that mimicked me in some ways, then I was looking over it and I was just like 'Wait. This is nothing like me in any way.' and really gave up, and ended up just using him as fodder. I feel like I surely could've done a better job there.
I actually liked Wade's initial portrayal in the simulation and I feel if the simulation arc would have gone for longer and if we would have learned more about him in there, my opinion on him would have ended up to be better. Now I feel he served no real purpose in the story after the simulation arc. Though I got really confused by him in the future, where he apparently ended up as a villain and had to be killed by Adam.
Well, here's a big one. I'm going to be honest here and say that up until that point, I had absolutely no intentions on having superpowers in this story at all. I was going to take it in a totally different direction and it probably would've mimicked season 1 of Lost. I think the idea of powers came in after I started watching Heroes on Netflix. Not sure though.
That was actually my initial thought as well, that the story would go more into the direction of Lost. The description in the main post still reminds me of it a little bit. Though that way the superpower twist came off as even more shocking, because there have been no hints for it. In certain situations, such a twist can work very well and this was one of these situations.
Yes, I too have come to realize this. Sometimes when i write I like to imagine myself as M Night Shyamalan. No but seriously, this was mostly due to the fact that sometimes I have difficulty focusing and can't always keep my thoughts straight, and as you've said I'd glossed over many interesting story lines and characters, and this is one of my biggest flaws in all of my writings. And sometimes I just rushed plot development. Honestly, If I could go back, I would've kept Piper alive a lot longer. Early on, she was one of my favorites.
Shyamalan? Oh god, I hope you mean the Shyamalan back when he was still good. Which means, back when he just made the Sixth Sense, because everything after that was... well... XD But I really think a few storylines could have faired well if they would have been longer, especially the simulation storyline and the storyline where Julia, Michael, Gilligan and Callista just had been abducted by Leland's men. As for Piper, I also feel she should have lived longer. She was a nice character, one of my favourites in the early story and she actually received a lot of development just immediately before she died and I think there could have been a lot more potential for her.
Well, they're still back in 'the present' (Excuse me, I've ruined my own sense of time by writing this) If we do or don't see them again, I don't know. Maybe we'll see them in the epilogue, or maybe they'll be forgotten. (See what I did there?) And then there's Callista. She was a great character, lots of potential. I feel like I ruined her by rushing plot and forcing her to take a backseat to Julia and Micheal throughout most the story.
I'd certainly like getting an update on them as well. Perhaps they were never main characters, but at least Gilligan had a strong presence in the early story. Callista meanwhile could have used some storyline of her own. I liked what we saw of her, but I don't think there has ever even been a scene where she hasn't been a supporting character for Michael. And even then, I feel like the nature of their relationship could have been explored better, because I'm still not sure if she likes him, or is totally annoyed by him or both.
No. Not at all. I don't even feel like I managed to make it sound even at all genuine. His only intention was to get rid of Julia's and Dana's powers so he could be the only one with the power to change history. And while I'm on the subject. the Council of Time and Leland have kept each other balanced for most of written history, with Leland gone... Can we trust them anymore than we trust him? I don't know. Just sounds like an interesting idea.
I was pretty sure that he wasn't genuine, but it's good to have confirmation on that. And even if he would have been genuine, I still feel like Julia had every right in the world to stab him in that moment. The Council of Time might indeed be a problem, but there is still Dana around who can keep them in line now. Her powers are equal to Leland, if I'm not mistaken. I certainly don't trust them, but I think they are honest with their desire to keep things stable.
Hmm. Currently, I have no idea if I'll start a new one. I'm currently writing a side-story among some of my friends and have thought about writing a forum version of it, but I felt like it would be too inflammatory due to its nature. I do have another idea, though, but I'm not sure if I'll put it into action. You'll be the first to know if anything develops though!
Inflammatory, you say? That sounds interesting I would certainly be all up for a new story, no matter the topic or when it will start. Keep me updated on that one and I will join it without a doubt!
Gosh Liquid... You nearly made me cry there. So uh... Let's get down to this.
Hehe, take a guess
Julia?
Though, surpris… moreingly it is not Julia.
What? This is a big surprise coming form you, as throughout most of the story you've remand adamant that Julia was your de facto favorite. But, seeing as you've noted Dana as you're favorite, I can agree. Dana was totally one of my favorite characters to write, and I feel like I watched her grown up just as much as you guys did. I mean in general, when I look back at this story, I feel like a proud father (In a non-weird way (If there is one))
Also, Kiera. She was definitely fun. I remember when I decided to make her, I was reading through my story and just wondered "What if I put a completely normal person in this story?" I loved just writing a normal person and not a super human that regularly superseded emotion. I felt like it was a good refresher, for me at least, tha… [view original content]
Awesome finale! Im speechless, this was amazing and I cant wait for the epilogue! I think I can best express how I feel with the questions.
1.) Favorite Character?
Dana for sure. She had such a growth as a character and she was always a joy to read. I liked her in the beginning but once her time travel powers got revealed I started to love her. She was a very unique character. But I actually loved all of the characters. Kiera was nice, I loved what you did with Adam, Julia and Michael were amazing and all of the others, I even loved to hate Leland. This story had a great cast of characters.
2.) Least favorite Character?
Even if I loved to hate him, Leland was still my least favorite and I think he was clearly meant to have this role. Other than him there was no one I really hated.
3.) What was the biggest WTF moment for you?
Gotta agree with Liquid on this one, the power reveal was the biggest twist. Other WTF moments that stuck with me were Dana learning that she is Lelands sister and Julia learning that Leland is obsessed with her and all of her past incarnations.
4.) Which character do you think changed the most through the story?
Dana, thats not even a contest. The others had some good character growth as well, especially Kiera I think but Dana stands out in particular. She started as someone who was very close to commit suicide and she ended up leading the people that saved the world.
5.) What was your favorite part in the entire story?
A few parts that stood out were the part where Julia revealed that she has powers, where Adam and the others were in the simulation and the finale. But I think the part that stuck with me the most was when Leland revealed to Julia that he is obsessed with her and her past incarnations, then proceeded to shoot her and then Dana transported the entire group into the future. It was not the biggest WTF moment in the story but there were so many smaller unexpected moments that made this part really stand out for me
6.) Least favorite part?
Nope, I really dont have one. You did amazing work with this story and there was never a part which I disliked.
7.) Did this story live up to your expectations?
Oh yes! It was such an amazign story, definitely one of my favorite stories in the forum.
8.) What were the story’s strengths
I feel like this story had a really strong cast of characters and I grew attached to all of them. You did a nice work with characterizing them. I also liked the supernatural elements in this story, that is always a nice bonus. Your writing of course was awesome as well but I dont think I need to point this out again
9.) It’s weaknesses?
Once again I kind of have to agree with Liquid. Sometimes it feels like some storylines were rushed through a bit too fast. The time travel storyline is the biggest example for this, I feel. This story was great and very long but I feel it could have been even better and longer if some of these storylines would have lived up to their true potential.
10.) Any questions you have left?
Liquid asked some of the things I would have asked as well. I see a pattern here XD Callista and Gilligan interest me as well and of course I would be extremely excited if you decide to write another story. I cant get enough of your writing and while the two stories that are still ongoing are two of my favourites in the forum (I think Dark before the Dawn is even my favourite at the moment) I would love a new story. But one question I can still think of is, what happened to Maria Fernando? I know Leland planned to kill her but since Julia still exists he obviously failed. And the same goes to Alinas brother, Nathan. Was it ever stated what happened with him? Oh and Tyler and Chad, while were at it. Maybe all of their fates will be revealed in the epilogue. Finally, one thing I just thought of, will the epilogue consist of one part or will there be more than one part? It feels like there could be more to wrap it all up and to explain the fate of each character.
11.) Anything else?
Well, first of all thank you for this story! It was amazing from the beginning to the end. There was powerful moments, twists and emotions and great characters whom you brought to live! If you decide to write another story you can count on me to support it as good as I can. I also think what Liquid said is true. The Dark before the Dawn and Youngstown are two of the strongest stories here in this forum and they deserve more readers so I hope I see some people from here joining them as well. Thank you for writing these two stories and thank you for writing the Forgotten.
Adam Becker
No time left.
Time’s up. Make a choice, live with the consequences.
For being someone who’s friends with a time travele… morer, he really wished he had more time. Hell, he wished he could just go back in time and stop any of this from ever happening.
But sadly, that’s not how this worked. Not this time.
It came down to one life or another, and he chose. He chose Micheal over Kasey.
Julia over Dana, in a sense.
Only if he had more time.
This was no place to take your time. This was only a place to act, and to deal with the consequences.
Steel hit flesh, the brutal sound of blade meeting bone. The savage cries of those he ripped apart.
They were so focused on Micheal they neglected to take noticed of Adam’s advance. They stood no chance against Adam. One by one they fell like flies, until it was only Micheal and Adam. Micheal looked at Adam, pure shock on his face.
“Where is she?” He asked. “Where’s Kasey?… [view original content]
She didn’t know why she did it, but she did. She always had the feeling of being on the edge at all times. Like someone was always watching her. Like she was in constant danger.
Not matter how many times she moved, no matter how many times she got a new job, the paranoia gripped her like a behemoth.
You know, after saving the world form probable annihilation, you’d think it would be easier to get a job. But people just don’t seem willing to look past the multiple drug charges on her rap sheet.
She’d lost her original job at the fast food joint after not showing up to work for over a month and the ‘sorry, I was busy saving the planet’ excuse wouldn’t work.
She was lucky enough to get this job here at a small hardware store outside of Canton. The pay wasn’t much, but it was better than the way she’d been living since she’d gotten back.
She remembered Adam had said ‘Let’s go home’. She’d forgotten the fact that she no longer had a home to go to. And she damn sure wasn’t going to go crawling back to mom and dad.
So she toughed it out, ended up living under an overpass on interstate 62. Through the cold, through the rain. Come hell or high water.
She for some reason had decided to venture into town one day, ended up walking past this hardware store and saw a hiring sign.
The owner of this place was a kind old man, a heart of gold and a will of solid steel. He and his daughter ran the small store together, after working here a while Dana had found out that his wife had died long ago and that his son had moved to New York to start a new career.
He’d given her the job without a second thought, even knowing that she had no home. She now lived in a small apartment not far from here.
She rifled through the shelves, picking at the empty boxes, refilling, cleaning, anything that needed done. When she wasn’t working or being paranoid, she was fixing that junker of a car she’d bought.
She’d practically disappeared off the radar. She hadn’t had any contact with any of her family or friends since she’d gotten back. She didn’t even know if any of them were still alive. It was sad, but there was nothing she could do about it.
She still found it hard sometimes to not go back to using drugs. Sometimes it just felt like the weight of the world was still on her shoulders and she just needed an escape. It was only because of the help of Aleah she was able to stay relatively clean.
She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to face its owner. Speak of the devil. Aleah stood just behind her, a smile on her face like always. Just like her father she had light brown skin and warm brown eyes. She’d stuck with Dana since she’d gotten here.
“How’s it going?” Aleah asked. Dana shrugged.
“Could be better.” She responded. “Damn sure could be worse.” Aleah laughed.
“I know what you’re saying.” She said, her eyes studding her face. Aleah’s smile widened. “You cut your hair.” She deduced. Dana nodded. She ran her hand through her choppy hair.
“Did it myself.” She said.
“It looks good.” Aleah said, then paused. “Hey, I’ve got to go. Maybe we can meet up sometime?” She asked. Dana nodded.
“Yeah. Sure.” She responded.
“See you around.” Aleah said as she turned to walk away. Dana suddenly became afraid. She hadn’t let anyone close to her since she’d gotten back, and with good reason. She was unstable. Like a radioactive isotope.
She hurt people. That’s all she was good for. Aleah was no different. One day, sooner or later, she’d end up hurting her. Badly. And by then it would be too late to fix it.
She sighed, and went back to her work. Just stock the shelves. Just get it over with. If everything else fails, just disappear again. Just leave everything behind and start again. It’s the price we pay to be forgotten.
It was only a few minutes before she heard the jungle of the front door opening. They had a customer. But Dana sensed something was off. The customer moved too quickly, their shoes hit the floor too hard. They weren’t here to buy. They were here to steal.
“Alright pops, put the money in the bag.” A gruff voice growled. Dana couldn’t see him from behind the shelf, she couldn’t see the front of the store. She backed away, accidently bumping into the shelf behind her.
There was a loud clattering as everything on the shelf jumped. She heard a silence fill the air, a tense silence.
“What the hell was that?” The intruder asked. “Who else is in here?” He got no response. Dana could hear footsteps moving towards her. She looked everywhere. Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. Frantically, she picked up a length of copper pipe that lay on the shelf in front of her. As soon as she saw a figure, she swung.
He easily side stepped her attack, grabbing the pipe. He quickly ripped it from her hands, and used her own weapon against her. It caught her right in the ribs. All the air was sucked from her lungs as she fell backwards onto the floor.
He loomed over her, she recognized the look in his eyes all too well. He had no control. It was the drugs, not the man. She felt the copper pipe clashing against her rib cage again, and again. He kept beating her to the point where it didn’t even hurt anymore. She was becoming blissfully unaware of her surroundings.
It was then that she wondered if she’d saved the world just to die on the floor of some family business. If she saved this man’s life just so he could beat her to death with a copper pipe.
A shot ran out. She didn’t know from where. The man hovering over her dropped the pipe and fell to the side. Dana could see the fuzzy outlines of a man. He quickly rushed to her side, dropping down next to her.
“I’m sorry.” Dana tried to say, she could barely speak. She could barely even breath.
“The ambulance is on its way, you’re going to be okay.” He said.
Four broken ribs, two bruised. One collapsed lung and a badly bruised wrist. Just hearing that made her stomach churn, how was she going to be able to pay for all of that? She could barely afford rent at times.
She just wondered if it would’ve been better if she never woke up. Aleah and her father were both there when she woke up and the doctor gave her the ‘good news’.
Yeah, good news is you’re still alive. Now here’s a bill, have a nice day. Bad news is, she could barely even move right now. Everything hurt. It hurt to breath, hurt to move. She hadn’t even attempted to move her wrist, and she had no intentions on doing so.
Aleah’s father must’ve seen her crying, which hurt a lot, because he spoke up.
“What’s wrong?” He asked. She could barely meet his gaze.
“I-I can’t pay for this.” She said. He shook his head.
“You’re not going to.” He said.
“What do you mean?” She asked. He had a lighthearted smile.
“Everyone in the community heard about the beating you took.” He said. “They’ve already started a fundraiser to help pay for the bill, and what they can’t cover, I will.” He said. Her eyes widened, she tried to sit up.
“No, you can’t do that for me.” Dana said. “I’d never ask you for so much.” He shook his head.
“You never had to ask.” He said as he stood from where he sat. “You’re family to me, and we take care of our family. Now get some rest.” He turned to Aleah.
“Can I get a moment alone with her, please?” She asked. He nodded as he walked out of the room, Dana heard the door click shut behind him. She looked at Dana, her eyes glassy. “You really scared me, you know that?” She asked.
“Believe it or not, I’ve survived worse.” Dana said, well. Maybe she technically didn’t survive it. She died and came back from it, if that counts. Aleah’s gaze hardened.
“How are you feeling?” She asked.
“Fine.” Dana responded, through gritted teeth. She’d accidently moved, sending a shockwave of pain through her entire body.
“I know that look, Dana. That’s not your ‘I’m fine’ look. That’s your ‘I’m going to disappear for three days and then show up in the city drunk tank’ look.” Dana sighed, she was right. She wasn’t fine.
“I have to go, Aleah.” Dana said. Aleah shook her head.
“What do you mean?” She asked.
“I’ve stayed here too long. Someone’s dead because of me.” She said.
“That man was robbing our store and trying to beat you to death. That is in no way your fault.” She said.
“When… When people stick around me too long, bad things start to happen. People start to get hurt. I just… I just don’t want you or your father to get hurt.” Dana said. Aleah shook her head.
“If you weren’t there, he probably would’ve kill my father. You know that right?” Aleah asked.
“If I wasn’t there, that man would’ve never tried to rob you.” She responded. “I can’t stay or people are going to get hurt.” She said again. “It’s a risk to keep me around.” Aleah sighed.
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” She said. “All you have to be willing to do is take a leap of faith with me.” Dana wanted to say something, but she just had nothing to say. The slow fire continued burning in her chest as she looked at Aleah. Aleah leaned over her, planting her lips on her forehead. “Try to sleep, I’ll come in and check on you later.” She promised. That was the first time in a long time Dana hadn’t been thinking about what she’d lost, what she’d given up. For the first time in a long time, she thought of what might be left for her.
Adam Becker
Adam gazed out over the lake from his lawn chair. The early afternoon sun danced off the waves as they lapped at the sandy shore not far from where he sat.
“Do you think she’s going to come?” Kiera asked. Adam looked over at her, with a shrug.
“Maybe, I hope she does.” Adam said. “I haven’t seen her in years.”
“Her own sister hasn’t seen her in years.” Kiera said. Just then Adam heard the sound of a car parking. He turned in his chair to see Micheal and Julia stepping out of a sedan. Adam smiled as he stood to meet them.
Micheal’s handshake was still as firm as always.
“It’s been awhile.” Adam said. Micheal gave him a sly smirk.
“It’s busy work, trying to save the world.” Micheal said.
“Oh, shut up Micheal.” Julia laughed. “He’s just too preoccupied with coaching football to care.”
“Get over here.” Adam said, wrapping his arms around Julia. “You know, I had to do a double take the first time I saw you on the TV. News anchor for channel 7, you’ve come a long way.” He said.
“Hard work pays off.” Julia said. “That and kissing a lot of ass.” Kiera laughed. Julia turned her attention to her. “You’ve gotten bigger.” She said with a smile. Kiera nodded.
“Perks of living with a mall cop.” She laughed. “He brings home food for me every day.”
“Is Kasey here?” Micheal asked. Adam nodded.
“She’s out at the pier.” He said.
“How is she?” Julia asked.
“She’s still fighting.” Kiera said, looking over at the lone figure standing on the pier.
“We should go talk to her.” Micheal said.
“I’ve tried.” Adam admitted. “She just looks at me like I’m not there.”
“Let me try.” Micheal asked.
“I’m not going to stop you.” Adam said. “Just be careful about what you say to her.”
“So now we’re just waiting for Dana.” Julia said.
“I wouldn’t get your hopes up.” Adam said. “She’s been in the dark since we got back. It’s been years now. I don’t even know if she got the invite.”
“Think again.” A voice spoke. Adam’s head snapped to his left, he saw her walking towards him. There was another woman with her, light brown skin and dark brown eyes. Adam couldn’t help but to smile.
“So you are still alive.” He said.
“Barely.” She said. Adam looked over at the other woman.
“Hi… I don’t think I caught your name.” He said. She smiled.
“I’m Aleah.” She said brightly. “Aleah Grey.” A proud smile suddenly found its way onto his face, but Kiera beat him to the punch.
“When did you get married?” She asked. “You should’ve invited us.” Dana’s face turned red.
“Last fall.” Dana admitted. “I wanted to invite you guys, it’s just…” She trailed.
“Don’t worry about it.” Julia said, hugging her. “I’m just glad you’re here.”
“So, where’s Kasey?” Dana asked, changing the subject.
“Over there, talking with Micheal.” Adam said. Dana nodded as she began walking towards the pier. Everyone began following her. The entire party was here now.
“This is a nice place.” Aleah remarked.
“It was Kiera’s grandfathers.” Adam said.
“He couldn’t have picked a better spot if he tried.” She said.
“We used to come out here for family reunions all the time. He said that this was ‘sacred family ground’.” Kiera said.
“You don’t have family reunions anymore?” Aleah asked. Kiera shook her head.
“As far as I can tell, I’m the only Peppers left in Ohio.” She said. “All the rest of my family is either dead or they just don’t care about the rest of the family.”
“That’s horrible.” Aleah said. “My father makes sure that my family gets together often. It was a little awkward the first time we brought Dana to one, but she’s one of us now.”
“Dana’s a good person.” Adam said. “She’s too damn humble to admit it, but she’s one of the best people I know.”
“I would be dead if it wasn’t for her.” Kiera said.
“We’d all be dead if it wasn’t for her.” Aleah said. Adam looked up and saw Kasey look up. The second Kasey spotted Dana she broke into a sprint, throwing her arms around her.
“How could you just leave me like that?” She asked. Dana lowered her head.
“I never wanted to hurt you.” She said. “I was afraid, so I ran.”
“Never again.” Kasey said.
“No more running.” Dana promised. “I’m not scared of this world anymore.”
“I missed you.” Kasey mumbled.
“I missed you too.” Dana said.
The sun set, a fire was built. As the logs burnt the flames danced high into the sky, licking at the darkness around it. Adam sat looking at the fire, Kiera’s head resting on his shoulder her hand in his. Dana and Aleah sat across from him. He saw Dana whispering something in Aleah’s ear. Aleah smiled as Dana kissed her cheek.
Micheal was going on about football with Kasey as Julia sat next to Adam.
“So what do we do now?” She asked. Adam shrugged.
“Now we find a way, just like we always have.” Adam said.
“So we just pretend like nothing ever happened, try and go back to living our lives again?” She asked.
“I don’t see why not.” Adam said.
“After all we did, after all we gave. After all the death. We just pretend to be normal, and never say anything about it?” She asked.
“It’s the price we pay to be forgotten.” Adam remarked, then he shrugged. “Maybe you could write a book about it, become rich someday.” She shook her head.
“Money’s only momentary. Fame passes.” She said. “But what we did will last forever, weather they know it or not.”
“Damn right.” Adam said. “Just look at us, just a group of people. Average strangers pulled together by fate. No common background, nothing in common, but we became a family. We became a family that changed the world.”
“It’s a family I’m proud to be part of.” Julia said. Suddenly Adam smiled. He looked up at the fire.
“Hey, everybody.” He said loud enough for everyone to hear, he waited a moment while everyone look up. “Me and Kiera have something we want to say.” He could feel the smile on his face getting bigger with every passing moment. He looked over to Kiera, dropping his voice to a whisper. “You want to say it?” He asked. She shook her head.
“You say it.” She said. He looked back up at everyone, all eyes on him. He searched for the right words, he was never good at words. He just opted for a more direct approach.
“Kiera’s pregnant.” He said.
Gilligan Anderson
His hands hovered over the keyboard, he had no idea what he was doing, but apparently he did. He didn’t understand technology, but if it existed, he could fix, break, or hack it.
“You get a fix on that location yet?” Callista asked through the two way radio, he’d built them himself. They had their own special encrypted channel only they could use.
“Not yet, I’m working on it.” He said.
“Time’s wasting.” Callista said.
“634 Howardsville road.” Gilligan said. “Address is fixed to a… Andre Greene, lives alone. CIA lists he has a power of altering gravity.”
“Altering gravity?” Callista asked. “Haven’t run into one of those in a while.”
“Yeah, well keep a sharp eye hot shot. CIA’s everywhere looking for us.” Gilligan said.
“Big brother is watching.” Callista confirmed. Gilligan suddenly saw a flashing light on his control panel.
“I’ll get back to you on that.” He said as he pushed the flashing button. It pulled up a document from the CIA. His man on the inside strikes again.
“Derwood, you there?” Gilligan asked into the radio.
“Derwood responding.” He said.
“I need you and your boyfriend to go check something out for me.” Gilligan said.
“What is it?” He asked.
“27 Kilmore way, it’s in your area.” Gilligan said. “Addison just recovered a document listing the address to a young girl named Kelly. She’s been seen to be clairvoyant. I need you to secure her and bring her to the safe zone.”
“Copy that, on our way now.” Derwood responded.
“Callista, you there?” He asked into the radio.
“Yeah, I’m here.” She responded. “But Big Brother got here first.” Gilligan sighed as he looked up at the big screen. He turned to the person next to him. “Hey, pull up satellite imagery on Callista’s location.” He said. They nodded and typed away. A large overhead view of the area was displayed on the big screen. His eyes winded. Multiple black vehicle sped to a stop in front of the building. Dozens of men wearing suits, and many more wearing SWAT gear jumped out.
“It was a trap.” Gilligan said. “Big Brother has you surrounded. Callista, get out of there now.”
“I’m surrounded, Gale.” She responded. “I have nowhere to run…” Her voice was timid.
“You have to try. You can’t let them take you.” Gilligan said.
“Mother fucker.” He heard her mumble.
“Gilligan.” The person next to him spoke, he turned to face them.
“Yeah?” Gilligan asked, his voice tight.
“We lost vitals on Callista.” They said. Gilligan’s face twisted in rage. Callista and him had founded this agency to protect people like them form people like the CIA, and it had worked for years now. She was the head of operations, he was the head of anything tech wise. She was his family.
“Fuck.” He muttered. “Fuck!” He yelled, loudly. He felt a breeze in the room, papers were blown off desks. “Who left the damn window open?” He asked. Wait. There were no windows. They were underground.
“Gilligan, please don’t turn around.” He heard a voice say, Callista. “Just hand me that blanket right there in front of you.” She said. Gilligan complied, grabbing the blanket off the table in front of him. It was one of his favorites. Blue, soft, warm. What more could you want?
He held it out behind him and felt it being taken from his hand. He stood still for a moment.
“You can turn around now.” She said. He turned to face her, seeing that she was wrapped only in the blanket. Her brown eyes were wide and her long hair was a mess.
“What happened to you?” He asked.
“I-I’m not sure…” She said. “But I think I just literally became the wind.” She said.
“Wow…” Gilligan said, “That might come in handy.”
“No shit.” Callista said. Gilligan smiled, with a laugh. He hugged Callista.
“Thank God you’re still alive.” He said, he felt her arms wrap around him.
“I’d rather not be dead.” She said. He looked up at the clock behind her, break time.
“Come on, I’ve been dying to kick your ass in Halo.”
Dana for sure. She had such a growth as a character and she was always a joy to read. I liked her in the beginning but once her time travel powers got revealed I started to love her. She was a very unique character. But I actually loved all of the characters. Kiera was nice, I loved what you did with Adam, Julia and Michael were amazing and all of the others, I even loved to hate Leland. This story had a great cast of characters.
I loved writing all the characters and Dana especially. Though, truth be told, at first I only intended on her being a minor character. Glad I changed that.
Even if I loved to hate him, Leland was still my least favorite and I think he was clearly meant to have this role.
Well, he was the main villain, and quite the psycho.
Other WTF moments that stuck with me were Dana learning that she is Lelands sister and Julia learning that Leland is obsessed with her and all of her past incarnations.
That was definitely a weird moment for me. I have no idea what was going through my mind when I thought of that. But it obviously worked, one way or another.
Dana, thats not even a contest. The others had some good character growth as well, especially Kiera I think but Dana stands out in particular. She started as someone who was very close to commit suicide and she ended up leading the people that saved the world.
I tried to make all the characters change a little, and I think you'r right. Dana did change a lot, going from the nobody to savior of a planet... I feel like there's a lesson there. I'm just not sure what.
A few parts that stood out were the part where Julia revealed that she has powers, where Adam and the others were in the simulation and the finale. But I think the part that stuck with me the most was when Leland revealed to Julia that he is obsessed with her and her past incarnations, then proceeded to shoot her and then Dana transported the entire group into the future. It was not the biggest WTF moment in the story but there were so many smaller unexpected moments that made this part really stand out for me
Oh, these were all fun elements to the story, and I definitely enjoyed writing each part. Leland was a total class A asshole to me, and was very controlling. I literally couldn't wait to kill him.
I feel like this story had a really strong cast of characters and I grew attached to all of them. You did a nice work with characterizing them. I also liked the supernatural elements in this story, that is always a nice bonus. Your writing of course was awesome as well but I dont think I need to point this out again
Thank you so much, you're too kind. The characters are always my favorite part of the story, and I often times just like seeing what users can come up with for the characters.
Once again I kind of have to agree with Liquid. Sometimes it feels like some storylines were rushed through a bit too fast. The time travel storyline is the biggest example for this, I feel. This story was great and very long but I feel it could have been even better and longer if some of these storylines would have lived up to their true potential.
Like I told Liquid, this is mostly because I have an over-creative mind that often fights itself for creative control. I have like 3 different writers struggling for control and none of them want to work together. XD
Liquid asked some of the things I would have asked as well. I see a pattern here XD Callista and Gilligan interest me as well
0.o
I would be extremely excited if you decide to write another story. I cant get enough of your writing and while the two stories that are still ongoing are two of my favourites in the forum (I think Dark before the Dawn is even my favourite at the moment) I would love a new story.
I'll be sure to let you know if I have an idea for a new one. And thank you!!
But one question I can still think of is, what happened to Maria Fernando? I know Leland planned to kill her but since Julia still exists he obviously failed.
Well, Leland didn't kill her. Meaning Julia's still alive. Julia will continue to reincarnate, but will have no idea because the only one that could give her her past memories back, Leland, is dead.
And the same goes to Alinas brother, Nathan. Was it ever stated what happened with him? Oh and Tyler and Chad, while were at it. Maybe all of their fates will be revealed in the epilogue. Finally, one thing I just thought of, will the epilogue consist of one part or will there be more than one part? It feels like there could be more to wrap it all up and to explain the fate of each character.
Eh.... Uh... Yeah...
Well, first of all thank you for this story! It was amazing from the beginning to the end. There was powerful moments, twists and emotions and great characters whom you brought to live! If you decide to write another story you can count on me to support it as good as I can. I also think what Liquid said is true. The Dark before the Dawn and Youngstown are two of the strongest stories here in this forum and they deserve more readers so I hope I see some people from here joining them as well. Thank you for writing these two stories and thank you for writing the Forgotten.
Thank you so much, this story was definitely fun to write, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it along with my other writings. And, like said, if I ever get an idea for a new story, I'll make sure to tell you.
Awesome finale! Im speechless, this was amazing and I cant wait for the epilogue! I think I can best express how I feel with the questions.
… more
1.) Favorite Character?
Dana for sure. She had such a growth as a character and she was always a joy to read. I liked her in the beginning but once her time travel powers got revealed I started to love her. She was a very unique character. But I actually loved all of the characters. Kiera was nice, I loved what you did with Adam, Julia and Michael were amazing and all of the others, I even loved to hate Leland. This story had a great cast of characters.
2.) Least favorite Character?
Even if I loved to hate him, Leland was still my least favorite and I think he was clearly meant to have this role. Other than him there was no one I really hated.
3.) What was the biggest WTF moment for you?
Gotta agree with Liquid on this one, the power reveal was the biggest twist. Other WTF moments that s… [view original content]
This was actually a big step for me. Despite the fact that I always try my best to keep an open mind, I am perhaps still the most biased person on this planet when it comes to my characters.
Oh, don't I know this well. I remember I got you pretty riled up with Katie.
That is true, it was a very powerful moment. As the only one without any sort of special power, she was perhaps the least likely person on the entire battlefield to kill Leland, which made it all the more awesome and fitting, especially once I realized Leland's opinion on ordinary humans. From his own perspective, it was probably the worst death for him to be killed by one of these lesser beings. There's also the thing, Julia and Dana had personal grudges towards Leland, but Kiera ultimately had no prior connection to him and only small connections to them. She did not kill him for revenge or to be free of him, she was simply an ordinary person who still did something very heroic, which I think sends a powerful message.
I know it was for me, I like to try and squeeze little messages and themes/ morals into my stories.
I actually liked Wade's initial portrayal in the simulation and I feel if the simulation arc would have gone for longer and if we would have learned more about him in there, my opinion on him would have ended up to be better. Now I feel he served no real purpose in the story after the simulation arc. Though I got really confused by him in the future, where he apparently ended up as a villain and had to be killed by Adam.
I feel like it would've been a lot better had I just had him killed off. I really lost interest in what I was trying to do with him and definitely payed for it.
That was actually my initial thought as well, that the story would go more into the direction of Lost. The description in the main post still reminds me of it a little bit. Though that way the superpower twist came off as even more shocking, because there have been no hints for it. In certain situations, such a twist can work very well and this was one of these situations.
Yeah, before the twist came in, I had intended on our characters all waking up in some jungle-ish area and the entire story would've focused around them trying to get back home. It's probably a good thing it went in this direction instead.
As for Piper, I also feel she should have lived longer. She was a nice character, one of my favourites in the early story and she actually received a lot of development just immediately before she died and I think there could have been a lot more potential for her.
I just keep having to kick myself for that. I liked her so much, and her death seems so pointless now.
I'd certainly like getting an update on them as well. Perhaps they were never main characters, but at least Gilligan had a strong presence in the early story. Callista meanwhile could have used some storyline of her own. I liked what we saw of her, but I don't think there has ever even been a scene where she hasn't been a supporting character for Michael. And even then, I feel like the nature of their relationship could have been explored better, because I'm still not sure if she likes him, or is totally annoyed by him or both.
Ask and ye shall receive... ish.
Inflammatory, you say? That sounds interesting I would certainly be all up for a new story, no matter the topic or when it will start. Keep me updated on that one and I will join it without a doubt!
I'm just not sure if it would be a good/ very interesting story to have on the forums. I mean, I could definitely try to explain it to you if you'd like.
Oh, and one more tag -on question.
If I gave you the choice of picking your character's powers, what would they be?"
What? This is a big surprise coming form you, as throughout most of the story you've remand adamant that Julia was your de facto favorite. B… moreut, seeing as you've noted Dana as you're favorite, I can agree. Dana was totally one of my favorite characters to write, and I feel like I watched her grown up just as much as you guys did. I mean in general, when I look back at this story, I feel like a proud father (In a non-weird way (If there is one))
This was actually a big step for me. Despite the fact that I always try my best to keep an open mind, I am perhaps still the most biased person on this planet when it comes to my characters. Julia was my favourite for a very long time, but I feel that especially in the final quarter of the story, Dana just became the most important and most well-written character in the story without a doubt. She had such a strong development that it would feel like a crime not to name her as my favourite charac… [view original content]
Dana Grey
She always looked over her shoulder.
She didn’t know why she did it, but she did. She always had the feeling of being on the… more edge at all times. Like someone was always watching her. Like she was in constant danger.
Not matter how many times she moved, no matter how many times she got a new job, the paranoia gripped her like a behemoth.
You know, after saving the world form probable annihilation, you’d think it would be easier to get a job. But people just don’t seem willing to look past the multiple drug charges on her rap sheet.
She’d lost her original job at the fast food joint after not showing up to work for over a month and the ‘sorry, I was busy saving the planet’ excuse wouldn’t work.
She was lucky enough to get this job here at a small hardware store outside of Canton. The pay wasn’t much, but it was better than the way she’d been living since she’d gotten back.
She remembered Adam had said ‘Let’s go hom… [view original content]
Oh, don't I know this well. I remember I got you pretty riled up with Katie.
Oh yes, that was memorable First you managed to utterly crush my hopes, though you still allowed me to keep just enough that each new part managed to crush me once anew and then you blew my mind with happiness when Katie ended up alive after all, which to date is my favourite moment in Dark before the Dawn. In that situation, you masterfully played my emotions like a virtuoso, there's no doubt about it.
I know it was for me, I like to try and squeeze little messages and themes/ morals into my stories.
And I like that a lot I try to do the same, but always find it hard to pull off without sounding preachy. You certainly managed to make it look easy to include a good message in the story.
I feel like it would've been a lot better had I just had him killed off. I really lost interest in what I was trying to do with him and definitely payed for it.
Well, in the end he still served the purpose to save Kasey's life. I wonder, would he have been willing to do the same for Michael as well?
Yeah, before the twist came in, I had intended on our characters all waking up in some jungle-ish area and the entire story would've focused around them trying to get back home. It's probably a good thing it went in this direction instead.
I agree, the direction the story ended up with sounds ultimately better than the original idea, though I have no doubt that the original idea would have been amazing as well. In fact, there have been early hints at such a plan in the actual story. One thing I just now realized is that, for example, Leland was knocked out by the guys who ambushed him and Julia in the beginning, which clashes with the later revelation that he is the guy in charge of them.
I just keep having to kick myself for that. I liked her so much, and her death seems so pointless now.
Well, you can never know until it's too late. It probably was a mistake to kill her off with so much unused potential, but there's no sense beating yourself over it.
Ask and ye shall receive... ish.
Ah, I see Liked the update on Callista and Gilligan. For some reason, while I previously thought to see hints of something between her and Michael, I now think I might ship her and Gilligan, their interaction was kinda cute.
I'm just not sure if it would be a good/ very interesting story to have on the forums. I mean, I could definitely try to explain it to you if you'd like.
Sure, I'm curious. I mean, if you ar enot sure if the story works here on the forums then that's fine, but I'm certainly curious what it is about.
If I gave you the choice of picking your character's powers, what would they be?"
Ah, now you're asking the real questions This is always very hard for me. I liked Julia's effective immortality, and I think Michael's super strength perfectly fitted his character, though one of my favourite super powers was always teleportation, of the rapidly fast variant seen in the X-Men movies. I also think Telekinesis is a very cool power to have, so if I would have been able to choose, Julia would have probably ended up with one of these.
This was actually a big step for me. Despite the fact that I always try my best to keep an open mind, I am perhaps still the most biased per… moreson on this planet when it comes to my characters.
Oh, don't I know this well. I remember I got you pretty riled up with Katie.
That is true, it was a very powerful moment. As the only one without any sort of special power, she was perhaps the least likely person on the entire battlefield to kill Leland, which made it all the more awesome and fitting, especially once I realized Leland's opinion on ordinary humans. From his own perspective, it was probably the worst death for him to be killed by one of these lesser beings. There's also the thing, Julia and Dana had personal grudges towards Leland, but Kiera ultimately had no prior connection to him and only small connections to them. She did not kill him for revenge or to be free of him, she was simply an ordinary person who still did somethi… [view original content]
I couldn't have hoped for a better ending! Dana got the happiness she deserves at last and even found a new love, Adam finally got together with Kiera, Julia found the relatively normal life she wanted and is free from that obsessive scumbag Leland for all eternity, Michael got his career and Gilligan and Callista have some super cool stuff going with the other mutants and some sort of safe zone. I'm curious what they are up to now and it seems that, while the others ended up getting normal and peaceful lives, the action is far from over for these two. All in all, a wonderful epilogue and a heartwarming farewell to these amazing characters. I'm certainly going to miss them and this story in general. Thank you for writing, it was an amazing epilogue to an amazing story!
Dana Grey
She always looked over her shoulder.
She didn’t know why she did it, but she did. She always had the feeling of being on the… more edge at all times. Like someone was always watching her. Like she was in constant danger.
Not matter how many times she moved, no matter how many times she got a new job, the paranoia gripped her like a behemoth.
You know, after saving the world form probable annihilation, you’d think it would be easier to get a job. But people just don’t seem willing to look past the multiple drug charges on her rap sheet.
She’d lost her original job at the fast food joint after not showing up to work for over a month and the ‘sorry, I was busy saving the planet’ excuse wouldn’t work.
She was lucky enough to get this job here at a small hardware store outside of Canton. The pay wasn’t much, but it was better than the way she’d been living since she’d gotten back.
She remembered Adam had said ‘Let’s go hom… [view original content]
I couldn't have hoped for a better ending! Dana got the happiness she deserves at last and even found a new love, Adam finally got together … morewith Kiera, Julia found the relatively normal life she wanted and is free from that obsessive scumbag Leland for all eternity, Michael got his career and Gilligan and Callista have some super cool stuff going with the other mutants and some sort of safe zone. I'm curious what they are up to now and it seems that, while the others ended up getting normal and peaceful lives, the action is far from over for these two. All in all, a wonderful epilogue and a heartwarming farewell to these amazing characters. I'm certainly going to miss them and this story in general. Thank you for writing, it was an amazing epilogue to an amazing story!
Oh yes, that was memorable First you managed to utterly crush my hopes, though you still allowed me to keep just enough that each new part managed to crush me once anew and then you blew my mind with happiness when Katie ended up alive after all, which to date is my favourite moment in Dark before the Dawn. In that situation, you masterfully played my emotions like a virtuoso, there's no doubt about it.
Hey, what can I say. I like playing with emotions. Building dreams and crushing hopes since 1999.
And I like that a lot I try to do the same, but always find it hard to pull off without sounding preachy. You certainly managed to make it look easy to include a good message in the story.
To be honest, half the time I don't even intend on doing it. Sometimes I don't even realize I did something and the readers point it out to me.
I agree, the direction the story ended up with sounds ultimately better than the original idea, though I have no doubt that the original idea would have been amazing as well. In fact, there have been early hints at such a plan in the actual story. One thing I just now realized is that, for example, Leland was knocked out by the guys who ambushed him and Julia in the beginning, which clashes with the later revelation that he is the guy in charge of them.
Yeah, there's more than a few continuity errors in this story... Clash of cultures in my mind saw to that.
I now think I might ship her and Gilligan, their interaction was kinda cute.
Well, just to point it out, Callista is nearly ten years older than Gilligan.
Sure, I'm curious. I mean, if you ar enot sure if the story works here on the forums then that's fine, but I'm certainly curious what it is about.
Mind if I PM you about it, mostly since I'm a total bugger when it comes to writing?
Ah, now you're asking the real questions This is always very hard for me. I liked Julia's effective immortality, and I think Michael's super strength perfectly fitted his character, though one of my favourite super powers was always teleportation, of the rapidly fast variant seen in the X-Men movies. I also think Telekinesis is a very cool power to have, so if I would have been able to choose, Julia would have probably ended up with one of these.
Oh... That would've been fun to play with. I could've effectively broken my own mind even more with that kind of power.
Oh, don't I know this well. I remember I got you pretty riled up with Katie.
Oh yes, that was memorable First you managed to utterl… morey crush my hopes, though you still allowed me to keep just enough that each new part managed to crush me once anew and then you blew my mind with happiness when Katie ended up alive after all, which to date is my favourite moment in Dark before the Dawn. In that situation, you masterfully played my emotions like a virtuoso, there's no doubt about it.
I know it was for me, I like to try and squeeze little messages and themes/ morals into my stories.
And I like that a lot I try to do the same, but always find it hard to pull off without sounding preachy. You certainly managed to make it look easy to include a good message in the story.
I feel like it would've been a lot better had I just had him killed off. I really lost interest in what I was trying to do with him and definitely payed … [view original content]
It would seriously freak me out too. Like, you're just standing there, and the next thing you know you literally dissipate into the wind and end up somewhere else. NO thanks.
Dana got the happiness she deserves at last and even found a new love
I wouldn't be able to sleep at night had I not given Dana a fairy tail ending. After all I put her through, she deserved it. And yes, I'm talking about her like she's a real person.
Adam finally got together with Kiera
Took him long enough, right?
Julia found the relatively normal life she wanted and is free from that obsessive scumbag Leland for all eternity
This is true.
Gilligan and Callista have some super cool stuff going with the other mutants and some sort of safe zone. I'm curious what they are up to now and it seems that, while the others ended up getting normal and peaceful lives, the action is far from over for these two.
This is also true. Gilligan and Callista are far from over on their journey to save the mutants.
All in all, a wonderful epilogue and a heartwarming farewell to these amazing characters. I'm certainly going to miss them and this story in general. Thank you for writing, it was an amazing epilogue to an amazing story!
Oh man, I just don't want it to be over... I don't wanna say goodbye. I love this too much. Even though I have other stories, this one's my baby. And it's all grown up now. I'm definitely going to miss it. Thank you, Liquid, for taking the time to read this story. It's been a great pleasure to write.
I couldn't have hoped for a better ending! Dana got the happiness she deserves at last and even found a new love, Adam finally got together … morewith Kiera, Julia found the relatively normal life she wanted and is free from that obsessive scumbag Leland for all eternity, Michael got his career and Gilligan and Callista have some super cool stuff going with the other mutants and some sort of safe zone. I'm curious what they are up to now and it seems that, while the others ended up getting normal and peaceful lives, the action is far from over for these two. All in all, a wonderful epilogue and a heartwarming farewell to these amazing characters. I'm certainly going to miss them and this story in general. Thank you for writing, it was an amazing epilogue to an amazing story!
Hey, what can I say. I like playing with emotions. Building dreams and crushing hopes since 1999.
Haha, that is so damn true. You need to wear this on a t-shirt, or perhaps as a sticker on your car XD
Well, just to point it out, Callista is nearly ten years older than Gilligan.
Oh. Oooh, that kinda sinks the ship again. I thought she was roughly in Julia's age, while Gilligan is probably around 18-19 at the moment, which wouldn't be too strange. But that means she is closer to Michael's age, which would make any ship going on between her and Gilligan quite weird.
Mind if I PM you about it, mostly since I'm a total bugger when it comes to writing?
Sure, I don't mind. Send me a PM if you like
Oh... That would've been fun to play with. I could've effectively broken my own mind even more with that kind of power.
Indeed, that would have been pretty mind-screwing. Though the constant reincarnation thing Julia had going on now wasn't that much better for my mind either.
Oh yes, that was memorable First you managed to utterly crush my hopes, though you still allowed me to keep just enough that each new part … moremanaged to crush me once anew and then you blew my mind with happiness when Katie ended up alive after all, which to date is my favourite moment in Dark before the Dawn. In that situation, you masterfully played my emotions like a virtuoso, there's no doubt about it.
Hey, what can I say. I like playing with emotions. Building dreams and crushing hopes since 1999.
And I like that a lot I try to do the same, but always find it hard to pull off without sounding preachy. You certainly managed to make it look easy to include a good message in the story.
To be honest, half the time I don't even intend on doing it. Sometimes I don't even realize I did something and the readers point it out to me.
I agree, the direction the story ended up with sounds ultimately better than the origina… [view original content]
I wouldn't be able to sleep at night had I not given Dana a fairy tail ending. After all I put her through, she deserved it. And yes, I'm talking about her like she's a real person.
That is perfectly understandable. And man, I am legitimately happy for Dana
Took him long enough, right?
Yes! Yes, it took him long enough! Ever since she got introduced, she was the one making moves on him and even though he clearly was attracted as well, he never really showed it to her, so I am glad he finally grew the courage in the epilogue. Though, since this epilogue is set a couple of years after the part before, I guess he still needed some time to finally confess his feelings.
Oh man, I just don't want it to be over... I don't wanna say goodbye. I love this too much. Even though I have other stories, this one's my baby. And it's all grown up now. I'm definitely going to miss it. Thank you, Liquid, for taking the time to read this story. It's been a great pleasure to write.
I don't want it to be over either and I will certainly miss it as well But every story needs an end at some point. While I would have loved if the story would have continued for another year, or even just for another month, the finale was perfect and left little to be desired.
Dana got the happiness she deserves at last and even found a new love
I wouldn't be able to sleep at night had I not given Dana a fa… moreiry tail ending. After all I put her through, she deserved it. And yes, I'm talking about her like she's a real person.
Adam finally got together with Kiera
Took him long enough, right?
Julia found the relatively normal life she wanted and is free from that obsessive scumbag Leland for all eternity
This is true.
Gilligan and Callista have some super cool stuff going with the other mutants and some sort of safe zone. I'm curious what they are up to now and it seems that, while the others ended up getting normal and peaceful lives, the action is far from over for these two.
This is also true. Gilligan and Callista are far from over on their journey to save the mutants.
All in all, a wonderful epilogue and a heartwarming farewell to these amazing characters. I'… [view original content]
Comments
. “Do it, you can’t, you won’t. You’re afraid of me, you’re afraid of power. You’re afraid to fight back, Kiera. That’s what makes you so weak.”
“I’m not weak.” She said, his grip tightening.
“Show me.” He snarled. “Fight back for once in your God dammed life. Do something. Fight back!” He screamed in her face. She tried to shrink away from him, but couldn’t get any farther than she already was.
“Y-you’re hurting me.” Kiera cried as she gasped for air.
“I don’t care, Kiera. I never have.” He said. “Just fight back Kiera, do it.”
“I can’t.” She cried.
“Do it!” He screamed, flinging spit into her face. A mixture of fear and rage that had been boiling inside of Kiera for as long as she could remember suddenly boiled over. She snapped, her arm found its way upwards with tremendous speed. He let go of her as he stumbled a few steps back, grabbing his stomach.
“Y-You fought back.” He said, sounding surprised. “You hit me you little bitch!” He yelled, pulling a gun out of his jacket. Her eyes widened as she stared down the barrel, she saw a sudden flash.
Her eye shot open, she was breathing heavily. She reached out and gripped some sand-like soil in her hands. She didn’t recognize where she was.
She sat up, slowly looking around. First she saw Julia, fallen on the ground. Then she saw Dana, pinned to the ground with Leland on top of her choking her to death, while screaming at her to kill him. She wasn’t looking good. Any movement she made was slow, she was dying.
Kiera forced herself to her feet. She began shuffling forwards, her body felt numb. She spotted something on the ground and picked it up, a small knife. She decided to put it in her pocket.
She stood only a few feet from Leland now, Dana barely seemed conscious. He seemed to not be relenting. She did the only thing she could think of. She ran as fast as she could forwards at Leland, bringing her leg upwards.
He cartwheeled off of Dana, who began coughing and gasping for air.
“Leave her alone!” Kiera screamed at him.
“Do you want to be the hero now?” He asked. “Do you want to kill the villain?” He sounded deranged, like something had snapped. He moved to fast for Kiera to even react. He jumped forwards at her, and she felt a pain in her stomach. She looked down and saw a small blade sticking out of her body. Her legs buckled underneath her and she fell to the ground, barely staying upright.
Her hand found its way into her pocket, her finger brushing over the handle of the knife. She brought it upwards, slashing through the air above her. She didn’t hear him say anything, or make a sound of pain. When she looked up she saw him holding his throat, as blood seeped through his fingers. Kiera felt a tear roll down her cheek as she watched him fall to his knees.
“I’m sorry.” She said. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you.” He said. “Thank y-“ He fell forwards before he could even finish his sentence. Kiera felt a wave of numbness roll over her again. She couldn’t feel anything.
“Kiera?” A voice asked. Kiera managed to turn her head to the side and see Dana climbing to her feet. “H-He’s dead…” She said. Kiera felt her body list to the side. She was expecting to fall to the ground, turns out she was closer to the edge of the canyon than she thought. She felt her body become weightless as she fell downwards.
The last thing she saw before she succumbed to her wound was Dana sailing over the edge of the cliff after her.
[Save Micheal] Well... obviously I'm not wanting him to die here, simple as that. I like Kasey and I feel bad for her, but there's no way I'm not going to save Michael.
Amazing part! Man, I did not see this coming. Like, almost everything. I don't believe a word Leland said, about trying to fix everything. For someone who was just about to kill all of them and who brainwashed not only an army to defend himself, but also people like Alina, this came a bit too fast to be genuine. It had to be some sort of trick. Julia saw right through his lies and it was good she stabbed him. Though, she's not dead, isn't she? I mean, he probably got her badly, but he only punched her, not smashed her head in or anything like that, right? Right? Oh man, you got me worried now
And then he went on to dangerously wound Kiera as well just before dying himself. Though I guess the fact that he was able to die was a result of Julia being close to him, so whatever power she has over him still works, so that means she's likely still alive. Phew... Also, I am glad Leland is dead. He had it more than coming, after all the people he killed, his schemes, brainwashing a whole army, the way he treated Julia even in this part. He deserved to die and it is good to see that he finally got his comeuppance. Kiera was probably the last person I thought would kill him, but still, she did an amazing job with this. Now I hope that Dana somehow manages to save her. At least that's what I think she's trying to do by jumping after her.
[Save Michael]
Mainly because Michael and Julia have grown on me, and Julia's been through a lot and she doesn't deserve to be hurt anymore. Sure, Dana's lost plenty, but Julia could lose her powers, it would probably kill her to lose her brother as well.
[Save Micheal]
I like both of them but imighthavebrokenit has a good argument. Julia has been through very much and after these experiences she needs her brother at her side to recover. Being the lover of an insane and immortal demigod sounds traumatizing enough and I dont want her to deal with Michaels death too. I just feel so sorry for Dana too
I wonder if Leland was honest in his words to Dana and Julia. It sounded like a trick but a part of me thinks he was honest. But he will not be missed, he really had it coming.
[Save Micheal] I like Kasey but Micheal's grown on me a lot more. He's been a big asset to the team and it would be cruel to have Julia lose her brother after everything that's happened. They're both great characters it'll be sad to see one of them go (;-; )
Great part, I just started reading this story and I'm really into it so far, I can't wait to find out what happens to Dana ^-^ I submitted a character a couple weeks ago I think, if you still need characters
Adam Becker
No time left.
Time’s up. Make a choice, live with the consequences.
For being someone who’s friends with a time traveler, he really wished he had more time. Hell, he wished he could just go back in time and stop any of this from ever happening.
But sadly, that’s not how this worked. Not this time.
It came down to one life or another, and he chose. He chose Micheal over Kasey.
Julia over Dana, in a sense.
Only if he had more time.
This was no place to take your time. This was only a place to act, and to deal with the consequences.
Steel hit flesh, the brutal sound of blade meeting bone. The savage cries of those he ripped apart.
They were so focused on Micheal they neglected to take noticed of Adam’s advance. They stood no chance against Adam. One by one they fell like flies, until it was only Micheal and Adam. Micheal looked at Adam, pure shock on his face.
“Where is she?” He asked. “Where’s Kasey?” Adam turned and looked to where Kasey had just stood, defending herself against a mob. The place she stood no longer. She lay there on the ground, her body cut and slashed, blood dripping from the corners of her mouth, staining the field they stood in red. She gazed unendingly upwards into the sky above.
“She’s…” Adam began, suddenly disgusted with himself. “She’s dead.” Micheal dropped to his knees, right there on the field. Just looking at the poor girls body. She deserved better than this. Her life should’ve been so much more than this. Adam couldn’t help but to remember what Dana had asked of him earlier that day.
“No matter what happens today, you’ve got to promise me you’ll keep Kasey safe.” She had said.
“I can do that.” He had responded.
He couldn’t do that. He didn’t keep his promise. He let her die, despite his promise, to save Micheal. He didn’t regret saving Micheal, but he only wished he could’ve saved both.
Adam couldn’t help but to look up, the frenzied war around him raged on, but none of it was directed at him. It was just like standing in a bubble watching a war documentary play on, not like he was there.
He spotted Wade in the mess, he wasn’t fighting. He was trying to hold a young girl back. She didn’t look like she belonged here, in this time. She had long black hair and green eyes, Adam had never seen her before. But it was obvious she was being controlled by Leland’s hive-mind.
Wade held her arms as she tried to pull away from him. He kept yelling something to her, Adam couldn’t hear over the screaming and clashing of metal, but it must’ve been something along the lines of ‘you’ll get yourself killed’
Adam’s bubble suddenly burst. He saw a woman running right at him, pitchfork in her hands. She was nobody, just another slave to Leland. Just some poor peasant who’d been caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Adam sidestepped her, grabbing the shaft of the pitchfork. He drove it downwards and it buried itself into the ground. She let go of the tool turned weapon and stumbled back. She looked at Adam, confused.
“Who are you?” She tried to ask, but failed at even getting the words out of her mouth before Adam swung his sword, nearly taking the poor woman’s head off in one swing. Her body crumpled to the ground, Adam knew she was dead. He knew none of this was her fault. But he just went on anyways. He hacked at the dead body with his sword, chopped into her like she was nothing more than cattle for the butcher.
Blood stained his face, his clothes.
“Dad, how do you become a hero?” He’d once asked his father, who was probably already past the point of drunk. He’d looked over at him, eyes glazed over, alcohol on his breath.
“There are none in this world.” He’d said. Adam didn’t like his father, didn’t respect him one bit. The day he died was probably one of the happiest days of his life. But for some reason, that one statement never left his mind. It haunted him.
“Adam, can I ask you something?” One of his younger siblings asked. He never could remember which one.
“What is it?” Adam asked as he peered at the pond. They’d snuck out of the house to hide, their father was drunk again.
“Do you think we can change the world?” They asked. Adam shook his head.
“No.” Adam said. “We can’t. We can only learn to live with it.”
“Oh.” Was their only response. Adam couldn’t remember much of his family after that, they fell apart. Adam joined the army. End of story.
Adam raised the blade once more. There are no heroes. Only figures you invent in your head to help you sleep at night.
“Adam!” A voice yelled. “Adam stop!” He turned around, looking at the voice. Dana. Dana was back. He looked around, nobody was fighting. They were all shuffling around, lost. Nobody understood anything that was happening. Everyone had waken from the hive-mind and once again become self-conscious.
“What… How…” Adam stuttered.
“Leland is dead.” Dana explained as she walked closer to him. He dropped the sword into the ground, feeling her hand touch his shoulder. “Kiera killed him.” He looked up at her at the mention of her name.
“She’s alive?” He asked. It had never crossed his mind before that she still may be alive through all of this.
“Barely.” Dana said. “She got stabbed, but she saved my life and the entire world.” Adam looked back down. He didn’t deserve to be happy. Not now, not never.
“Dana… Kasey’s dead.” He said. “I couldn’t save her.”
“No…” Her voice trailed. She fell to her knees, her eyes filling with tears. There was no filter. It just all came out. She broke, like someone released the floodgates. Adam saw Wade still holding the young woman, but now in a different way. She buried her head into his shoulder like she knew him and he acted as if he knew her.
He locked eyes with Adam for a moment, and seemed to understand what had happened. He released the girl and began treading across the blood soaked field.
“What happened?” He asked.
“Kasey… Kasey’s dead.” Adam said.
“Where is she?” Wade asked. Adam looked over towards the body. “There.” Wade nodded at Adam. He began walking towards Kasey. He dropped to one knee in front of her, running his hand through her long silky blonde hair. He turned towards Adam. “So I guess this is it then?” He asked.
“What do you mean?” Adam asked. A sly smile crawled along his face.
“Death demands death.” He said. He placed his hand over her chest. His expression quickly became pained, the soft glow at his hand brightened. Adam watched, nearly in horror, as Wade began flickering, like a lightbulb. His very essence was being drained from him. He was giving Kasey his life. He looked over at Adam for half a second, and then disappeared. Like he was never even there.
Almost instantly he heard Kasey cough. She slowly sat up, looking around. The blood was still stained on her pale skin, but there were no wounds.
“Ouch.” Was all she muttered. Adam breathed a sigh of relief as she pushed herself uneasily to her feet.
“Easy there kid.” Micheal said. “You were just dead a moment ago.” Her eyes went big.
“What?” She asked.
“Story for another time.” Dana said as she rushed forwards, wrapping her sister in her arms. “Don’t ever do that to me again.” Kasey looked confused still, but with each passing moment it seemed like she was piecing it together.
“I don’t plan on dying for a while.” Kasey said. “But I’d kill to go back to the 21st century.”
“That’s a plan I can agree on.” Micheal said.
“Me too.” Julia said as she joined them. Adam looked at them all, standing there, then to Dana.
“What about everyone else?” Adam asked.
“If they’re alive, my people will bring them home.” Dana said.
“What about Kiera?” He asked.
“I don’t know.” Dana said. “With any luck, she’ll get better.”
“So what do we do now?” Adam asked.
“We go home.” Dana said.
“And then what?” Adam asked. “Act like everything’s normal?”
“Adam, we both know there’s no normal for any of us.” Dana said. “We just have to find a way to deal with it.”
“Alright then.” Adam said. “Let’s go home.”
Alright guys, stay tuned for the upcoming epilogue! (And yes, that means that this is almost done.) It’s been great to be here, writing this. This has been one of my favorite stories I have and I hope you al enjoyed it. Thank you all for sticking with me through it all!
So, now that it’s over, I guess now’s the time for questions.
1.) Favorite Character?
2.) Least favorite Character?
3.) What was the biggest WTF moment for you?
4.) Which character do you think changed the most through the story?
5.) What was your favorite part in the entire story?
6.) Least favorite part?
7.) Did this story live up to your expectations?
8.) What were the story’s strengths
9.) It’s weaknesses?
10.) Any questions you have left?
11.) Anything else?
My god, this was amazing! Together with the last part, it formed a wonderful finale that left little to be desired. And I am amazed by the fact that it ended mostly happy! Julia is alive and fine, despite getting the shit beaten out by Leland, Dana is still alive and fine, even Kiera is still alive. And Michael and Kasey, which is just great. Wade... well, he got a heroic death, I can give him that. I still don't feel much for him, but his death was nonetheless quite sad, even if it brought us Kasey back. I wonder, would he have done the same for Michael?
1.) Favorite Character?
Hehe, take a guess
Though, surprisingly it is not Julia. She had a very strong presence in the first part of the story, but I feel after Dana managed to resurrect her she took a background role for the most part. I mean, I still love her and she is among my favourite characters, but my absolute favourite now has to be Dana. She really stepped up big time during the story, from the messed up drug addict to the demigod and one of the most central characters in the entire story. She was just great and she had some of the best lines in the story. Another one who slowly found her place into my favourites is Kiera. Unlike Dana, she's not some ridiculously powerful superhuman. She doesn't have Julia's sharp sarcasm or her fascinating connection to Leland. However, she provides the interesting part of a very likeable, but completely ordinary woman, who's in way over her head in all of this, but who still does not run away and instead helps out wherever she can. She was perhaps the least likely person to kill the big bad villain, but that actually made it all the more fitting and ironic. Usually, I'd name Adam as well in this question, but I feel kinda shocked about his very final action in this battle, where he basically killed a defenceless woman that already came back to her senses. For me, the moment she asked a question and looked confused, it was clear to me that Leland's control over them had faded, so I find it hard to see Adam killing her as anything but unnecessary murder. That cost him major sympathy points, but he is still not among my least favourite characters. So, Dana and Julia and Kiera for the favourites.
2.) Least favorite Character?
Uh... hard question. You know I struggle with this. Leland perhaps? Sure he is the antagonist, so he is an obvious choice. And he clearly was a piece of shit. Then again, he was clearly meant to be hated and despised, so it feels lazy to just name him. I must say, while I didn't hate him, I felt little for Wade and when he gave his life to save Kasey, I was just happy that she was back and not that much saddened by his death. I did not hate him, but unlike the other characters I did not like him either. I felt neutral about him, which makes him my second least favourite character.
3.) What was the biggest WTF moment for you?
The reveal of the powers. Like, nothing up to then has even hinted at it, but it still worked, so this was an extremely well done plot twist, that also changed the direction of the entire story, like no other choice after it even had a chance to do. Until then, the story was fairly mundane, despite a number of odd events, like the cop that was brutally killed at Michael's house, but nothing that was outright and openly supernatural. And then, all of a sudden, Julia survived being shot in the heart and my jaw just dropped.
4.) Which character do you think changed the most through the story?
Dana. I already said it above, she basically started with her life being a complete mess, but then she showed her powers, got stronger and stronger, both in terms of personality and powers, until it was revealed that she is Leland's sister and so much more powerful than anyone else. She really stepped up during the story and I think she had the biggest change, especially in terms of personality.
5.) What was your favorite part in the entire story?
I think I say it once again, the part where the powers got revealed. It was the biggest twist in the story by far, it had me at the edge of my seat and actually, it had not one, but two huge WTF moments. The first was when Gerald just casually shot Julia, after he previously implied that he wants all of them alive. The second one was when she just returned back to live. Definitely the part with the biggest shock moments and a game changer for sure.
6.) Least favorite part?
You ask this question every time and I can only give you the same answer every time
Nope, there is no least favourite part. I'm sure there is one part I enjoyed less than others, but none I consciously disliked.
7.) Did this story live up to your expectations?
At first I wanted to say it exceeded my expectations, but that implies I went into the story with low expectations. I didn't. From your earlier work, I had very high expectations and you met these high expectations and in some cases, you certainly exceeded them. It was an amazingly well-done story and I'm certainly going to miss it.
8.) What were the story’s strengths
Well, first of all there is your writing in general. I feel like it developed greatly, from strong to super strong and some of the latest parts (and also some of the latest parts in your other stories) have been among the best things I read here in the forum. Your writing was a huge strength to the story, as it brought the wonderful world you created here and all of its characters, to live. The characters were another strength. This is pretty much given with your stories, but I felt attached to almost every character and felt they all brought up something unique to the table, which is not easy to pull off. Then, there is the storyline, which has been so unpredictable that I felt myself constantly wondering what's going to happen next. Like, in other stories I can make predictions, which is fun as well, but here I literally had no idea what would happen next.
9.) It’s weaknesses?
Which unfortunately also brings me to its weakness. Singular, because there is only one I have seen. Its the twists. I'm not sure if it has already been brought up, but at times, the number of twists was too damn high. Like, it helped with keeping the story unpredictable, but sometimes I felt like promising ideas and scenarios have been shelved too early. Mostly, they were shelved in favour of other intriguing scenarios, but at times I would have wished for more development to certain things before the situation changes again. There was the thing with the abductions and with Julia and the others trying to escape, which I feel was a storyline that ended too early when Gerald and his people got involved. Then, Gerald turned out to be a bad guy just two parts later, before getting killed in the same part. There were Piper and her elite squad, which just dropped from the story after Piper got killed. There was the beginning military storyline and it even introduced promising characters like Skylar and Sean, who received some build up but never appeared again after the storyline in Rosenberg's secret lab began. There was the storyline in the simulation, which brought a lot of unique elements to the table, some of which never got important again and then there was the whole Rosenberg stuff in general, which I feel also ended too quickly. Finally, the future storyline, which I think ended far too early. On the one hand, I was happy to see Julia back alive so soon after it begun, but at the same time, the thought of exploring a timeline in which Leland simply won held a lot of intriguing ideas, like, what is he doing now, is Julia already reincarnated, are there other characters who perhaps fight against Leland in the future. I mean, don't get me wrong. This is my longest answer to a question, but that does not mean that I disliked the story. In fact, as you can see above, I loved the story and I loved each of these unique storylines, I just would have wished they would have been explored in more detail before leading to the next storyline.
10.) Any questions you have left?
Yes, I just remembered, what happened to Callista and Gilligan? Gilligan had at least a lot to do in the first half of the story, but Callista, I think, is by far the least developed character in the story and the only one I feel could have used more development. They stayed behind in the present if I'm not mistaken, but the last time I know for sure we saw them was before Adam, Michael, Julia and co. got down into Rosenberg's lab again, where they went to the military guys. Will they appear in the epilogue? Also, one question about Leland: Was he honest in his final moments? Like, his offer to Dana and Julia, to give them a normal live and then to simply disappear from affairs of mortals, was it genuine?
11.) Anything else?
First of all, thank you for writing this wonderful story! It has been one hell of a ride, almost for an entire year. No longer having this story and these wonderful characters to read about will be odd and I am both, happy to see that it got such a deserving and well-done finale, and sad at the thought that this was the finale, and the penultimate part. I am extremely excited for the epilogue and I can't wait to see what is going to happen to all of these wonderful characters in it.
Then, I have another question, though one that is unrelated to The Forgotten. Now that it is about to be finished, have you considered starting another story? You've managed to fair very well with three stories at once, so it feels weird to have only two of you left to read for the time being. There is The Dark before the Dawn and Youngstown, but I'd certainly love to see a new story from you as well. As long as you have fun writing these, I will read them, because you have some serious, awe-inspiring talent and well, I would be happy seeing more of it and having another of your stories to read.
Also, because I have the slight feeling mr.quality is too decent to be that guy, consider this a shameless and not-very-subtle shout-out to the two wonderful stories I so slyly linked above, The Dark before the Dawn and Youngstown, to those who read this text but who have not yet read these stories, which means @imighthavebrokenit and @Clem_In_The_Pines. Forgive me for directly tagging you in this comment, but if it succeeds in gaining your attention, a man regrets nothing. Both of these stories are written by mr.quality, so I think it's okay if I promote them here in a needlessly lengthy way, right? I mean, maybe that means new readers and who doesn't love new readers? I know, I'd love having a few new faces and opinions around in these stories and I'm not even the writer. Here's the best thing first: Both stories show no sign of ending anytime soon. In fact, Youngstown seems like it's just getting started. Both of these stories are amazingly written and in fact, I feel like the Dark before the Dawn contains some of mr.quality's finest writing to date, especially the most recent parts. On top of that, both definitely deserve another one or two readers. Actually, one or two dozen, but I'd be happy if I reach at least you two with this heartfelt shout-out. Especially the Dark before the Dawn is down to two, with janitor and me, and well, this amazing story simply deserves more and it breaks my heart to see how finely crafted these parts are and how few people actually read them in contrast. I noticed, at least in case of Clem_In_The_Pines, you unfortunately joined this particular story very late and I think perhaps you'd be happy to have a story written by the very same talented guy in which you actually have the chance to participate this time
And imighthavebrokenit, I know you enjoy a good story, so take my word for it, these two stories are among the best you'll find here!
So, once again, there is The Dark before the Dawn, a story set in the United States during a war against a powerful terrorist organization who launched a fullblown invasion of the US, while Youngstown is, well, also set in the US, but is set after a virus caused society to collapse. Technically, Youngstown is the sequel to one of mr.quality's earlier stories, Stranded, but as someone who read and loved both stories, I actually feel like Youngstown can be read without necessarily needing any prior knowledge, as 90% of the cast and most of the storylines are largely unconnected to the previous story. If I succeeded in gaining your interest, I'd be overjoyed to see you around there. As much fun as reading these two stories is, I feel like they will be even more enjoyable with more people who like them.
All is forgiven, since it actually helped clear up my notifications and it's for a good cause
The Dark before the Dawn is one of the stories that I've been meaning to catch up on now that summer is around, but it keeps slipping my mind, so thank you for reminding me.
True and now I've got way too much time on my hands, so I'm good for a few reads.
It sounds interesting, I'll give it a read
And mr.quality, I'm not so good at answering questions, so I might or might not answer those later. In the meanwhile, I wanted to tell you that this was an absolutely amazing story. I know I lost touch of it for a while at times, but I am so glad I caught up. Being here from beginning to end, despite the occasional breaks, I know that Liquid, along with myself, warched this story grow and advance and Liquid has expressed his feelings towards it, but I wanted to say that what you've done is great. I enjoyed the story from beginning to end and I can't wait to see more from you.
If you ever decide to write something new, let me know, because I'll be glad to read more from you.
Gosh Liquid... You nearly made me cry there. So uh... Let's get down to this.
Julia?
What? This is a big surprise coming form you, as throughout most of the story you've remand adamant that Julia was your de facto favorite. But, seeing as you've noted Dana as you're favorite, I can agree. Dana was totally one of my favorite characters to write, and I feel like I watched her grown up just as much as you guys did. I mean in general, when I look back at this story, I feel like a proud father (In a non-weird way (If there is one))
Also, Kiera. She was definitely fun. I remember when I decided to make her, I was reading through my story and just wondered "What if I put a completely normal person in this story?" I loved just writing a normal person and not a super human that regularly superseded emotion. I felt like it was a good refresher, for me at least, that you don't have to be some sort of superman to be a hero.
I actually spent a lot of time pondering over this in my head, who I wanted to kill Leland. Even for a little while, I wasn't eve going to kill Leland. It was meant, for me at least, to be a powerful moment. It was like a sly way of saying 'everything has changed' but also retaining a human face on it all.
Again, this is one of those 'everything has changed' moments for me. It's a breaking point for one of our ever-strong central characters who's finally reached a breaking point and just snapped. I guess we'll see how he deals with this in the prologue.
Hey, antagonists are meant to be hated. If he made it onto your list, I'm doing it right.
Yeah, I feel like I really failed with Wade. When I originally started with him I wanted a character that mimicked me in some ways, then I was looking over it and I was just like 'Wait. This is nothing like me in any way.' and really gave up, and ended up just using him as fodder. I feel like I surely could've done a better job there.
Well, here's a big one. I'm going to be honest here and say that up until that point, I had absolutely no intentions on having superpowers in this story at all. I was going to take it in a totally different direction and it probably would've mimicked season 1 of Lost. I think the idea of powers came in after I started watching Heroes on Netflix. Not sure though.
Like I've said, she was one of my favorites. I've enjoyed molding her throughout the story and even as I just wrote her as a character in the first part she was in, I couldn't help but think 'Yeah, she's going to be a star player'. To me she really brought a lot to the story, and I liked that fact that she was in no way the 'average' woman. Some people would've counted her out after they realized she was a drug addict, but I really played on the lines of 'Anyone can be anything' and throughout the story I really enjoyed using her as a great example.
Thank you so much Liquid. I'm sure I've said it before, but I'll say it again. You've been a great inspiration to me this entire time, and I really love your writings. If I've gotten a nod from you, I feel like I've accomplished something great.
I really had a lot of fun messing with the characters, no matter how many times I had to go back and rewrite a part. I really tried to make it seem like no one character was better than another, in the sense that each on of them was completely different and had their own skills. And, if I'm to be honest, half the time I had no idea where the story was going until I sat down and began writing a part. Every once in a while, I'd look at a part and just completely shock myself and what I came up with.
Yes, I too have come to realize this. Sometimes when i write I like to imagine myself as M Night Shyamalan. No but seriously, this was mostly due to the fact that sometimes I have difficulty focusing and can't always keep my thoughts straight, and as you've said I'd glossed over many interesting story lines and characters, and this is one of my biggest flaws in all of my writings. And sometimes I just rushed plot development. Honestly, If I could go back, I would've kept Piper alive a lot longer. Early on, she was one of my favorites.
Well, they're still back in 'the present' (Excuse me, I've ruined my own sense of time by writing this) If we do or don't see them again, I don't know. Maybe we'll see them in the epilogue, or maybe they'll be forgotten. (See what I did there?) And then there's Callista. She was a great character, lots of potential. I feel like I ruined her by rushing plot and forcing her to take a backseat to Julia and Micheal throughout most the story.
No. Not at all. I don't even feel like I managed to make it sound even at all genuine. His only intention was to get rid of Julia's and Dana's powers so he could be the only one with the power to change history. And while I'm on the subject. the Council of Time and Leland have kept each other balanced for most of written history, with Leland gone... Can we trust them anymore than we trust him? I don't know. Just sounds like an interesting idea.
Again, thank you so much for sticking with me throughout all of this. It's been both an honor and a pleasure to do this. It's been a roller coaster of emotions and a merry go round of plot development. Thank you for sticking it out throughout the entire carnival. You sir, deserve a cookie. Sadly, my reserves are a little dry.
Hmm. Currently, I have no idea if I'll start a new one. I'm currently writing a side-story among some of my friends and have thought about writing a forum version of it, but I felt like it would be too inflammatory due to its nature. I do have another idea, though, but I'm not sure if I'll put it into action. You'll be the first to know if anything develops though!
For me too. It feels like so much more of a rewards when you get lots of people interested in something. And honestly, it's the readers that make the story. I wouldn't be writing if it weren't for you guys. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. You're the best readers anyone could've asked for.
That's okay. They call holidays an option for a reason. I'm glad that I've had you here through the entire thing. It's been great, one heck of a ride. I'd shake oyur hand right now, if not for a screen between us. Virtual Handshakes
It has indeed been one heck of a ride and I'm glad to have been in attendance. Virtual Handshakes Until next time, of course.
This was actually a big step for me. Despite the fact that I always try my best to keep an open mind, I am perhaps still the most biased person on this planet when it comes to my characters. Julia was my favourite for a very long time, but I feel that especially in the final quarter of the story, Dana just became the most important and most well-written character in the story without a doubt. She had such a strong development that it would feel like a crime not to name her as my favourite character. She was truly amazing!
That is true, it was a very powerful moment. As the only one without any sort of special power, she was perhaps the least likely person on the entire battlefield to kill Leland, which made it all the more awesome and fitting, especially once I realized Leland's opinion on ordinary humans. From his own perspective, it was probably the worst death for him to be killed by one of these lesser beings. There's also the thing, Julia and Dana had personal grudges towards Leland, but Kiera ultimately had no prior connection to him and only small connections to them. She did not kill him for revenge or to be free of him, she was simply an ordinary person who still did something very heroic, which I think sends a powerful message.
I actually liked Wade's initial portrayal in the simulation and I feel if the simulation arc would have gone for longer and if we would have learned more about him in there, my opinion on him would have ended up to be better. Now I feel he served no real purpose in the story after the simulation arc. Though I got really confused by him in the future, where he apparently ended up as a villain and had to be killed by Adam.
That was actually my initial thought as well, that the story would go more into the direction of Lost. The description in the main post still reminds me of it a little bit. Though that way the superpower twist came off as even more shocking, because there have been no hints for it. In certain situations, such a twist can work very well and this was one of these situations.
Shyamalan? Oh god, I hope you mean the Shyamalan back when he was still good. Which means, back when he just made the Sixth Sense, because everything after that was... well... XD But I really think a few storylines could have faired well if they would have been longer, especially the simulation storyline and the storyline where Julia, Michael, Gilligan and Callista just had been abducted by Leland's men. As for Piper, I also feel she should have lived longer. She was a nice character, one of my favourites in the early story and she actually received a lot of development just immediately before she died and I think there could have been a lot more potential for her.
I'd certainly like getting an update on them as well. Perhaps they were never main characters, but at least Gilligan had a strong presence in the early story. Callista meanwhile could have used some storyline of her own. I liked what we saw of her, but I don't think there has ever even been a scene where she hasn't been a supporting character for Michael. And even then, I feel like the nature of their relationship could have been explored better, because I'm still not sure if she likes him, or is totally annoyed by him or both.
I was pretty sure that he wasn't genuine, but it's good to have confirmation on that. And even if he would have been genuine, I still feel like Julia had every right in the world to stab him in that moment. The Council of Time might indeed be a problem, but there is still Dana around who can keep them in line now. Her powers are equal to Leland, if I'm not mistaken. I certainly don't trust them, but I think they are honest with their desire to keep things stable.
Inflammatory, you say? That sounds interesting
I would certainly be all up for a new story, no matter the topic or when it will start. Keep me updated on that one and I will join it without a doubt!
Awesome finale! Im speechless, this was amazing and I cant wait for the epilogue! I think I can best express how I feel with the questions.
1.) Favorite Character?
Dana for sure. She had such a growth as a character and she was always a joy to read. I liked her in the beginning but once her time travel powers got revealed I started to love her. She was a very unique character. But I actually loved all of the characters. Kiera was nice, I loved what you did with Adam, Julia and Michael were amazing and all of the others, I even loved to hate Leland. This story had a great cast of characters.
2.) Least favorite Character?
Even if I loved to hate him, Leland was still my least favorite and I think he was clearly meant to have this role. Other than him there was no one I really hated.
3.) What was the biggest WTF moment for you?
Gotta agree with Liquid on this one, the power reveal was the biggest twist. Other WTF moments that stuck with me were Dana learning that she is Lelands sister and Julia learning that Leland is obsessed with her and all of her past incarnations.
4.) Which character do you think changed the most through the story?
Dana, thats not even a contest. The others had some good character growth as well, especially Kiera I think but Dana stands out in particular. She started as someone who was very close to commit suicide and she ended up leading the people that saved the world.
5.) What was your favorite part in the entire story?
A few parts that stood out were the part where Julia revealed that she has powers, where Adam and the others were in the simulation and the finale. But I think the part that stuck with me the most was when Leland revealed to Julia that he is obsessed with her and her past incarnations, then proceeded to shoot her and then Dana transported the entire group into the future. It was not the biggest WTF moment in the story but there were so many smaller unexpected moments that made this part really stand out for me
6.) Least favorite part?
Nope, I really dont have one. You did amazing work with this story and there was never a part which I disliked.
7.) Did this story live up to your expectations?
Oh yes! It was such an amazign story, definitely one of my favorite stories in the forum.
8.) What were the story’s strengths
I feel like this story had a really strong cast of characters and I grew attached to all of them. You did a nice work with characterizing them. I also liked the supernatural elements in this story, that is always a nice bonus. Your writing of course was awesome as well but I dont think I need to point this out again
9.) It’s weaknesses?
Once again I kind of have to agree with Liquid. Sometimes it feels like some storylines were rushed through a bit too fast. The time travel storyline is the biggest example for this, I feel. This story was great and very long but I feel it could have been even better and longer if some of these storylines would have lived up to their true potential.
10.) Any questions you have left?
Liquid asked some of the things I would have asked as well. I see a pattern here XD Callista and Gilligan interest me as well and of course I would be extremely excited if you decide to write another story. I cant get enough of your writing and while the two stories that are still ongoing are two of my favourites in the forum (I think Dark before the Dawn is even my favourite at the moment) I would love a new story. But one question I can still think of is, what happened to Maria Fernando? I know Leland planned to kill her but since Julia still exists he obviously failed. And the same goes to Alinas brother, Nathan. Was it ever stated what happened with him? Oh and Tyler and Chad, while were at it. Maybe all of their fates will be revealed in the epilogue. Finally, one thing I just thought of, will the epilogue consist of one part or will there be more than one part? It feels like there could be more to wrap it all up and to explain the fate of each character.
11.) Anything else?
Well, first of all thank you for this story! It was amazing from the beginning to the end. There was powerful moments, twists and emotions and great characters whom you brought to live! If you decide to write another story you can count on me to support it as good as I can. I also think what Liquid said is true. The Dark before the Dawn and Youngstown are two of the strongest stories here in this forum and they deserve more readers so I hope I see some people from here joining them as well. Thank you for writing these two stories and thank you for writing the Forgotten.
Dana Grey
She always looked over her shoulder.
She didn’t know why she did it, but she did. She always had the feeling of being on the edge at all times. Like someone was always watching her. Like she was in constant danger.
Not matter how many times she moved, no matter how many times she got a new job, the paranoia gripped her like a behemoth.
You know, after saving the world form probable annihilation, you’d think it would be easier to get a job. But people just don’t seem willing to look past the multiple drug charges on her rap sheet.
She’d lost her original job at the fast food joint after not showing up to work for over a month and the ‘sorry, I was busy saving the planet’ excuse wouldn’t work.
She was lucky enough to get this job here at a small hardware store outside of Canton. The pay wasn’t much, but it was better than the way she’d been living since she’d gotten back.
She remembered Adam had said ‘Let’s go home’. She’d forgotten the fact that she no longer had a home to go to. And she damn sure wasn’t going to go crawling back to mom and dad.
So she toughed it out, ended up living under an overpass on interstate 62. Through the cold, through the rain. Come hell or high water.
She for some reason had decided to venture into town one day, ended up walking past this hardware store and saw a hiring sign.
The owner of this place was a kind old man, a heart of gold and a will of solid steel. He and his daughter ran the small store together, after working here a while Dana had found out that his wife had died long ago and that his son had moved to New York to start a new career.
He’d given her the job without a second thought, even knowing that she had no home. She now lived in a small apartment not far from here.
She rifled through the shelves, picking at the empty boxes, refilling, cleaning, anything that needed done. When she wasn’t working or being paranoid, she was fixing that junker of a car she’d bought.
She’d practically disappeared off the radar. She hadn’t had any contact with any of her family or friends since she’d gotten back. She didn’t even know if any of them were still alive. It was sad, but there was nothing she could do about it.
She still found it hard sometimes to not go back to using drugs. Sometimes it just felt like the weight of the world was still on her shoulders and she just needed an escape. It was only because of the help of Aleah she was able to stay relatively clean.
She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to face its owner. Speak of the devil. Aleah stood just behind her, a smile on her face like always. Just like her father she had light brown skin and warm brown eyes. She’d stuck with Dana since she’d gotten here.
“How’s it going?” Aleah asked. Dana shrugged.
“Could be better.” She responded. “Damn sure could be worse.” Aleah laughed.
“I know what you’re saying.” She said, her eyes studding her face. Aleah’s smile widened. “You cut your hair.” She deduced. Dana nodded. She ran her hand through her choppy hair.
“Did it myself.” She said.
“It looks good.” Aleah said, then paused. “Hey, I’ve got to go. Maybe we can meet up sometime?” She asked. Dana nodded.
“Yeah. Sure.” She responded.
“See you around.” Aleah said as she turned to walk away. Dana suddenly became afraid. She hadn’t let anyone close to her since she’d gotten back, and with good reason. She was unstable. Like a radioactive isotope.
She hurt people. That’s all she was good for. Aleah was no different. One day, sooner or later, she’d end up hurting her. Badly. And by then it would be too late to fix it.
She sighed, and went back to her work. Just stock the shelves. Just get it over with. If everything else fails, just disappear again. Just leave everything behind and start again. It’s the price we pay to be forgotten.
It was only a few minutes before she heard the jungle of the front door opening. They had a customer. But Dana sensed something was off. The customer moved too quickly, their shoes hit the floor too hard. They weren’t here to buy. They were here to steal.
“Alright pops, put the money in the bag.” A gruff voice growled. Dana couldn’t see him from behind the shelf, she couldn’t see the front of the store. She backed away, accidently bumping into the shelf behind her.
There was a loud clattering as everything on the shelf jumped. She heard a silence fill the air, a tense silence.
“What the hell was that?” The intruder asked. “Who else is in here?” He got no response. Dana could hear footsteps moving towards her. She looked everywhere. Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. Frantically, she picked up a length of copper pipe that lay on the shelf in front of her. As soon as she saw a figure, she swung.
He easily side stepped her attack, grabbing the pipe. He quickly ripped it from her hands, and used her own weapon against her. It caught her right in the ribs. All the air was sucked from her lungs as she fell backwards onto the floor.
He loomed over her, she recognized the look in his eyes all too well. He had no control. It was the drugs, not the man. She felt the copper pipe clashing against her rib cage again, and again. He kept beating her to the point where it didn’t even hurt anymore. She was becoming blissfully unaware of her surroundings.
It was then that she wondered if she’d saved the world just to die on the floor of some family business. If she saved this man’s life just so he could beat her to death with a copper pipe.
A shot ran out. She didn’t know from where. The man hovering over her dropped the pipe and fell to the side. Dana could see the fuzzy outlines of a man. He quickly rushed to her side, dropping down next to her.
“I’m sorry.” Dana tried to say, she could barely speak. She could barely even breath.
“The ambulance is on its way, you’re going to be okay.” He said.
Four broken ribs, two bruised. One collapsed lung and a badly bruised wrist. Just hearing that made her stomach churn, how was she going to be able to pay for all of that? She could barely afford rent at times.
She just wondered if it would’ve been better if she never woke up. Aleah and her father were both there when she woke up and the doctor gave her the ‘good news’.
Yeah, good news is you’re still alive. Now here’s a bill, have a nice day. Bad news is, she could barely even move right now. Everything hurt. It hurt to breath, hurt to move. She hadn’t even attempted to move her wrist, and she had no intentions on doing so.
Aleah’s father must’ve seen her crying, which hurt a lot, because he spoke up.
“What’s wrong?” He asked. She could barely meet his gaze.
“I-I can’t pay for this.” She said. He shook his head.
“You’re not going to.” He said.
“What do you mean?” She asked. He had a lighthearted smile.
“Everyone in the community heard about the beating you took.” He said. “They’ve already started a fundraiser to help pay for the bill, and what they can’t cover, I will.” He said. Her eyes widened, she tried to sit up.
“No, you can’t do that for me.” Dana said. “I’d never ask you for so much.” He shook his head.
“You never had to ask.” He said as he stood from where he sat. “You’re family to me, and we take care of our family. Now get some rest.” He turned to Aleah.
“Can I get a moment alone with her, please?” She asked. He nodded as he walked out of the room, Dana heard the door click shut behind him. She looked at Dana, her eyes glassy. “You really scared me, you know that?” She asked.
“Believe it or not, I’ve survived worse.” Dana said, well. Maybe she technically didn’t survive it. She died and came back from it, if that counts. Aleah’s gaze hardened.
“How are you feeling?” She asked.
“Fine.” Dana responded, through gritted teeth. She’d accidently moved, sending a shockwave of pain through her entire body.
“I know that look, Dana. That’s not your ‘I’m fine’ look. That’s your ‘I’m going to disappear for three days and then show up in the city drunk tank’ look.” Dana sighed, she was right. She wasn’t fine.
“I have to go, Aleah.” Dana said. Aleah shook her head.
“What do you mean?” She asked.
“I’ve stayed here too long. Someone’s dead because of me.” She said.
“That man was robbing our store and trying to beat you to death. That is in no way your fault.” She said.
“When… When people stick around me too long, bad things start to happen. People start to get hurt. I just… I just don’t want you or your father to get hurt.” Dana said. Aleah shook her head.
“If you weren’t there, he probably would’ve kill my father. You know that right?” Aleah asked.
“If I wasn’t there, that man would’ve never tried to rob you.” She responded. “I can’t stay or people are going to get hurt.” She said again. “It’s a risk to keep me around.” Aleah sighed.
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” She said. “All you have to be willing to do is take a leap of faith with me.” Dana wanted to say something, but she just had nothing to say. The slow fire continued burning in her chest as she looked at Aleah. Aleah leaned over her, planting her lips on her forehead. “Try to sleep, I’ll come in and check on you later.” She promised. That was the first time in a long time Dana hadn’t been thinking about what she’d lost, what she’d given up. For the first time in a long time, she thought of what might be left for her.
Adam Becker
Adam gazed out over the lake from his lawn chair. The early afternoon sun danced off the waves as they lapped at the sandy shore not far from where he sat.
“Do you think she’s going to come?” Kiera asked. Adam looked over at her, with a shrug.
“Maybe, I hope she does.” Adam said. “I haven’t seen her in years.”
“Her own sister hasn’t seen her in years.” Kiera said. Just then Adam heard the sound of a car parking. He turned in his chair to see Micheal and Julia stepping out of a sedan. Adam smiled as he stood to meet them.
Micheal’s handshake was still as firm as always.
“It’s been awhile.” Adam said. Micheal gave him a sly smirk.
“It’s busy work, trying to save the world.” Micheal said.
“Oh, shut up Micheal.” Julia laughed. “He’s just too preoccupied with coaching football to care.”
“Get over here.” Adam said, wrapping his arms around Julia. “You know, I had to do a double take the first time I saw you on the TV. News anchor for channel 7, you’ve come a long way.” He said.
“Hard work pays off.” Julia said. “That and kissing a lot of ass.” Kiera laughed. Julia turned her attention to her. “You’ve gotten bigger.” She said with a smile. Kiera nodded.
“Perks of living with a mall cop.” She laughed. “He brings home food for me every day.”
“Is Kasey here?” Micheal asked. Adam nodded.
“She’s out at the pier.” He said.
“How is she?” Julia asked.
“She’s still fighting.” Kiera said, looking over at the lone figure standing on the pier.
“We should go talk to her.” Micheal said.
“I’ve tried.” Adam admitted. “She just looks at me like I’m not there.”
“Let me try.” Micheal asked.
“I’m not going to stop you.” Adam said. “Just be careful about what you say to her.”
“So now we’re just waiting for Dana.” Julia said.
“I wouldn’t get your hopes up.” Adam said. “She’s been in the dark since we got back. It’s been years now. I don’t even know if she got the invite.”
“Think again.” A voice spoke. Adam’s head snapped to his left, he saw her walking towards him. There was another woman with her, light brown skin and dark brown eyes. Adam couldn’t help but to smile.
“So you are still alive.” He said.
“Barely.” She said. Adam looked over at the other woman.
“Hi… I don’t think I caught your name.” He said. She smiled.
“I’m Aleah.” She said brightly. “Aleah Grey.” A proud smile suddenly found its way onto his face, but Kiera beat him to the punch.
“When did you get married?” She asked. “You should’ve invited us.” Dana’s face turned red.
“Last fall.” Dana admitted. “I wanted to invite you guys, it’s just…” She trailed.
“Don’t worry about it.” Julia said, hugging her. “I’m just glad you’re here.”
“So, where’s Kasey?” Dana asked, changing the subject.
“Over there, talking with Micheal.” Adam said. Dana nodded as she began walking towards the pier. Everyone began following her. The entire party was here now.
“This is a nice place.” Aleah remarked.
“It was Kiera’s grandfathers.” Adam said.
“He couldn’t have picked a better spot if he tried.” She said.
“We used to come out here for family reunions all the time. He said that this was ‘sacred family ground’.” Kiera said.
“You don’t have family reunions anymore?” Aleah asked. Kiera shook her head.
“As far as I can tell, I’m the only Peppers left in Ohio.” She said. “All the rest of my family is either dead or they just don’t care about the rest of the family.”
“That’s horrible.” Aleah said. “My father makes sure that my family gets together often. It was a little awkward the first time we brought Dana to one, but she’s one of us now.”
“Dana’s a good person.” Adam said. “She’s too damn humble to admit it, but she’s one of the best people I know.”
“I would be dead if it wasn’t for her.” Kiera said.
“We’d all be dead if it wasn’t for her.” Aleah said. Adam looked up and saw Kasey look up. The second Kasey spotted Dana she broke into a sprint, throwing her arms around her.
“How could you just leave me like that?” She asked. Dana lowered her head.
“I never wanted to hurt you.” She said. “I was afraid, so I ran.”
“Never again.” Kasey said.
“No more running.” Dana promised. “I’m not scared of this world anymore.”
“I missed you.” Kasey mumbled.
“I missed you too.” Dana said.
The sun set, a fire was built. As the logs burnt the flames danced high into the sky, licking at the darkness around it. Adam sat looking at the fire, Kiera’s head resting on his shoulder her hand in his. Dana and Aleah sat across from him. He saw Dana whispering something in Aleah’s ear. Aleah smiled as Dana kissed her cheek.
Micheal was going on about football with Kasey as Julia sat next to Adam.
“So what do we do now?” She asked. Adam shrugged.
“Now we find a way, just like we always have.” Adam said.
“So we just pretend like nothing ever happened, try and go back to living our lives again?” She asked.
“I don’t see why not.” Adam said.
“After all we did, after all we gave. After all the death. We just pretend to be normal, and never say anything about it?” She asked.
“It’s the price we pay to be forgotten.” Adam remarked, then he shrugged. “Maybe you could write a book about it, become rich someday.” She shook her head.
“Money’s only momentary. Fame passes.” She said. “But what we did will last forever, weather they know it or not.”
“Damn right.” Adam said. “Just look at us, just a group of people. Average strangers pulled together by fate. No common background, nothing in common, but we became a family. We became a family that changed the world.”
“It’s a family I’m proud to be part of.” Julia said. Suddenly Adam smiled. He looked up at the fire.
“Hey, everybody.” He said loud enough for everyone to hear, he waited a moment while everyone look up. “Me and Kiera have something we want to say.” He could feel the smile on his face getting bigger with every passing moment. He looked over to Kiera, dropping his voice to a whisper. “You want to say it?” He asked. She shook her head.
“You say it.” She said. He looked back up at everyone, all eyes on him. He searched for the right words, he was never good at words. He just opted for a more direct approach.
“Kiera’s pregnant.” He said.
Gilligan Anderson
His hands hovered over the keyboard, he had no idea what he was doing, but apparently he did. He didn’t understand technology, but if it existed, he could fix, break, or hack it.
“You get a fix on that location yet?” Callista asked through the two way radio, he’d built them himself. They had their own special encrypted channel only they could use.
“Not yet, I’m working on it.” He said.
“Time’s wasting.” Callista said.
“634 Howardsville road.” Gilligan said. “Address is fixed to a… Andre Greene, lives alone. CIA lists he has a power of altering gravity.”
“Altering gravity?” Callista asked. “Haven’t run into one of those in a while.”
“Yeah, well keep a sharp eye hot shot. CIA’s everywhere looking for us.” Gilligan said.
“Big brother is watching.” Callista confirmed. Gilligan suddenly saw a flashing light on his control panel.
“I’ll get back to you on that.” He said as he pushed the flashing button. It pulled up a document from the CIA. His man on the inside strikes again.
“Derwood, you there?” Gilligan asked into the radio.
“Derwood responding.” He said.
“I need you and your boyfriend to go check something out for me.” Gilligan said.
“What is it?” He asked.
“27 Kilmore way, it’s in your area.” Gilligan said. “Addison just recovered a document listing the address to a young girl named Kelly. She’s been seen to be clairvoyant. I need you to secure her and bring her to the safe zone.”
“Copy that, on our way now.” Derwood responded.
“Callista, you there?” He asked into the radio.
“Yeah, I’m here.” She responded. “But Big Brother got here first.” Gilligan sighed as he looked up at the big screen. He turned to the person next to him. “Hey, pull up satellite imagery on Callista’s location.” He said. They nodded and typed away. A large overhead view of the area was displayed on the big screen. His eyes winded. Multiple black vehicle sped to a stop in front of the building. Dozens of men wearing suits, and many more wearing SWAT gear jumped out.
“It was a trap.” Gilligan said. “Big Brother has you surrounded. Callista, get out of there now.”
“I’m surrounded, Gale.” She responded. “I have nowhere to run…” Her voice was timid.
“You have to try. You can’t let them take you.” Gilligan said.
“Mother fucker.” He heard her mumble.
“Gilligan.” The person next to him spoke, he turned to face them.
“Yeah?” Gilligan asked, his voice tight.
“We lost vitals on Callista.” They said. Gilligan’s face twisted in rage. Callista and him had founded this agency to protect people like them form people like the CIA, and it had worked for years now. She was the head of operations, he was the head of anything tech wise. She was his family.
“Fuck.” He muttered. “Fuck!” He yelled, loudly. He felt a breeze in the room, papers were blown off desks. “Who left the damn window open?” He asked. Wait. There were no windows. They were underground.
“Gilligan, please don’t turn around.” He heard a voice say, Callista. “Just hand me that blanket right there in front of you.” She said. Gilligan complied, grabbing the blanket off the table in front of him. It was one of his favorites. Blue, soft, warm. What more could you want?
He held it out behind him and felt it being taken from his hand. He stood still for a moment.
“You can turn around now.” She said. He turned to face her, seeing that she was wrapped only in the blanket. Her brown eyes were wide and her long hair was a mess.
“What happened to you?” He asked.
“I-I’m not sure…” She said. “But I think I just literally became the wind.” She said.
“Wow…” Gilligan said, “That might come in handy.”
“No shit.” Callista said. Gilligan smiled, with a laugh. He hugged Callista.
“Thank God you’re still alive.” He said, he felt her arms wrap around him.
“I’d rather not be dead.” She said. He looked up at the clock behind her, break time.
“Come on, I’ve been dying to kick your ass in Halo.”
I loved writing all the characters and Dana especially. Though, truth be told, at first I only intended on her being a minor character. Glad I changed that.
Well, he was the main villain, and quite the psycho.
That was definitely a weird moment for me. I have no idea what was going through my mind when I thought of that. But it obviously worked, one way or another.
I tried to make all the characters change a little, and I think you'r right. Dana did change a lot, going from the nobody to savior of a planet... I feel like there's a lesson there. I'm just not sure what.
Oh, these were all fun elements to the story, and I definitely enjoyed writing each part. Leland was a total class A asshole to me, and was very controlling. I literally couldn't wait to kill him.
Thank you so much, you're too kind. The characters are always my favorite part of the story, and I often times just like seeing what users can come up with for the characters.
Like I told Liquid, this is mostly because I have an over-creative mind that often fights itself for creative control. I have like 3 different writers struggling for control and none of them want to work together. XD
0.o
I'll be sure to let you know if I have an idea for a new one. And thank you!!
Well, Leland didn't kill her. Meaning Julia's still alive. Julia will continue to reincarnate, but will have no idea because the only one that could give her her past memories back, Leland, is dead.
Eh.... Uh... Yeah...
Thank you so much, this story was definitely fun to write, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it along with my other writings. And, like said, if I ever get an idea for a new story, I'll make sure to tell you.
Oh, don't I know this well. I remember I got you pretty riled up with Katie.
I know it was for me, I like to try and squeeze little messages and themes/ morals into my stories.
I feel like it would've been a lot better had I just had him killed off. I really lost interest in what I was trying to do with him and definitely payed for it.
Yeah, before the twist came in, I had intended on our characters all waking up in some jungle-ish area and the entire story would've focused around them trying to get back home. It's probably a good thing it went in this direction instead.
I just keep having to kick myself for that. I liked her so much, and her death seems so pointless now.
Ask and ye shall receive... ish.
I'm just not sure if it would be a good/ very interesting story to have on the forums. I mean, I could definitely try to explain it to you if you'd like.
Oh, and one more tag -on question.
If I gave you the choice of picking your character's powers, what would they be?"
That would actually be a super scary power to have, for me at least, to be able to turn into wind. That would freak me out.
Oh yes, that was memorable
First you managed to utterly crush my hopes, though you still allowed me to keep just enough that each new part managed to crush me once anew and then you blew my mind with happiness when Katie ended up alive after all, which to date is my favourite moment in Dark before the Dawn. In that situation, you masterfully played my emotions like a virtuoso, there's no doubt about it.
And I like that a lot
I try to do the same, but always find it hard to pull off without sounding preachy. You certainly managed to make it look easy to include a good message in the story.
Well, in the end he still served the purpose to save Kasey's life. I wonder, would he have been willing to do the same for Michael as well?
I agree, the direction the story ended up with sounds ultimately better than the original idea, though I have no doubt that the original idea would have been amazing as well. In fact, there have been early hints at such a plan in the actual story. One thing I just now realized is that, for example, Leland was knocked out by the guys who ambushed him and Julia in the beginning, which clashes with the later revelation that he is the guy in charge of them.
Well, you can never know until it's too late. It probably was a mistake to kill her off with so much unused potential, but there's no sense beating yourself over it.
Ah, I see
Liked the update on Callista and Gilligan. For some reason, while I previously thought to see hints of something between her and Michael, I now think I might ship her and Gilligan, their interaction was kinda cute.
Sure, I'm curious. I mean, if you ar enot sure if the story works here on the forums then that's fine, but I'm certainly curious what it is about.
Ah, now you're asking the real questions
This is always very hard for me. I liked Julia's effective immortality, and I think Michael's super strength perfectly fitted his character, though one of my favourite super powers was always teleportation, of the rapidly fast variant seen in the X-Men movies. I also think Telekinesis is a very cool power to have, so if I would have been able to choose, Julia would have probably ended up with one of these.
I couldn't have hoped for a better ending! Dana got the happiness she deserves at last and even found a new love, Adam finally got together with Kiera, Julia found the relatively normal life she wanted and is free from that obsessive scumbag Leland for all eternity, Michael got his career and Gilligan and Callista have some super cool stuff going with the other mutants and some sort of safe zone. I'm curious what they are up to now and it seems that, while the others ended up getting normal and peaceful lives, the action is far from over for these two. All in all, a wonderful epilogue and a heartwarming farewell to these amazing characters. I'm certainly going to miss them and this story in general. Thank you for writing, it was an amazing epilogue to an amazing story!
Couldn't agree more
Hey, what can I say. I like playing with emotions. Building dreams and crushing hopes since 1999.
To be honest, half the time I don't even intend on doing it. Sometimes I don't even realize I did something and the readers point it out to me.
Yeah, there's more than a few continuity errors in this story... Clash of cultures in my mind saw to that.
Well, just to point it out, Callista is nearly ten years older than Gilligan.
Mind if I PM you about it, mostly since I'm a total bugger when it comes to writing?
Oh... That would've been fun to play with. I could've effectively broken my own mind even more with that kind of power.
It would seriously freak me out too. Like, you're just standing there, and the next thing you know you literally dissipate into the wind and end up somewhere else. NO thanks.
I wouldn't be able to sleep at night had I not given Dana a fairy tail ending. After all I put her through, she deserved it. And yes, I'm talking about her like she's a real person.
Took him long enough, right?
This is true.
This is also true. Gilligan and Callista are far from over on their journey to save the mutants.
Oh man, I just don't want it to be over... I don't wanna say goodbye. I love this too much. Even though I have other stories, this one's my baby. And it's all grown up now. I'm definitely going to miss it. Thank you, Liquid, for taking the time to read this story. It's been a great pleasure to write.
Haha, that is so damn true. You need to wear this on a t-shirt, or perhaps as a sticker on your car XD
Oh. Oooh, that kinda sinks the ship again. I thought she was roughly in Julia's age, while Gilligan is probably around 18-19 at the moment, which wouldn't be too strange. But that means she is closer to Michael's age, which would make any ship going on between her and Gilligan quite weird.
Sure, I don't mind. Send me a PM if you like
Indeed, that would have been pretty mind-screwing. Though the constant reincarnation thing Julia had going on now wasn't that much better for my mind either.
That is perfectly understandable. And man, I am legitimately happy for Dana
Yes! Yes, it took him long enough! Ever since she got introduced, she was the one making moves on him and even though he clearly was attracted as well, he never really showed it to her, so I am glad he finally grew the courage in the epilogue. Though, since this epilogue is set a couple of years after the part before, I guess he still needed some time to finally confess his feelings.
I don't want it to be over either and I will certainly miss it as well
But every story needs an end at some point. While I would have loved if the story would have continued for another year, or even just for another month, the finale was perfect and left little to be desired.