strongbad: Ah screw this i going to play some games
max: Err what games
strongbad: Videlectrix games
heavy: Show at me!!!
{strongbad picks up a compy compé, laptop, of course the compé. The compé's logo fades in and a shine appears in the background. The logo then retracts itself and fades out, at which point the screen is replaced with a desktop. The wallpaper is a blurry, slightly pixelated shot of grass. There is a single icon on the top-left corner of the desktop: A pixelated image of strong bad's head in an envelope, titled "sbemail.exe" and "peasant'squest.exe" a pixelated cursor is seen on the screen, double-clicks on the peasant'squest.exe icon}
strongbad: {strongbad shows sam, heavy and tycho} here.
{a still videlectrix logo with the mascot appearing on a gray screen. The cheat in a tire falls down to the middle of the screen, running over the mascot. He gives the 'ok' signal, pleasent quest tittle apperes}
tycho: Thats a s***y game i ever seen
max: Ok ok lets watch
otis as narrator: {reading the words on screen} 12 hours later.
{at max and heavy crying at the chair they watch it when trogdor burns rather dashing}
max: {crying}
heavy: {crying} uwaaaaaaah!
Tycho: {angry} its just a f****ng video game
strong bad: Don't worry they are just weird after all
{porker night invetory boxart apperes}
narrator: {reading the words on screen} get your own porker night for just $2.99 at gamestop
{gamestop logo apperes}
narrator: Gamestop power to the players {coin sound}
Just ignore pepsiboy. Seriously. He's either a troll who doesn't deserve the satisfaction of a response, or a severely misinformed 11-year-old who needs to learn how to post properly.
Just ignore pepsiboy. Seriously. He's either a troll who doesn't deserve the satisfaction of a response, or a severely misinformed 11-year-old who needs to learn how to post properly.
i think you are thinking of me there at that 11-year old thing
no, we're thinking of you times two which then forms into the most malevolent and idiotic thing telltale has ever allowed on the forms. Ok lets just end this now and forever. Now someone come up with something cause I'm out of ideas right now.
I would like to redeem this thread with the following suggestion.
Strong Bad: Yo, my Russian friend, where can I get a gun like that?
Heavy: IZ MY GUN, YOU CANNOT HAVE IT!!
Tycho: I think he means, where did you buy it?
Heavy: OH. I BUY FROM MANN CO. IZ VERY EXPENSIZE. IT COSTS FOUR-HUNDRED -
Tycho: Four Hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon for twelve seconds. You told us like a thousand times.
Max: Now is not a good time to mock the guy with the minigun.
Strong Bad: Mann Co, eh? I wonder if Bubs stocks any of his junk. What else could I get?
HEAVY: OH, THEY MAKE EVERYTHING, LIKE SANDVITCH, CAMERA BEARD, JARATE...
Strong Bad: Ooooh, a camera beard. I can spy on Strong Sad and have a manly beard at the same time.
Max: wait, what's Jarate?
Strong Bad: Isn't that the jar of whoozit?
Heavy: YES, SNIPER THROWS IT AT BAD GUYS AND THEY GET COVERED IN IT.
Strong Bad: ..... jibblyjibblyjibblyjibblyjibbly......
Heavy: SO, LEETLE HEAVY, WHY YOU ALWAYS WEAR MASK?
Strong Bad: Oh, it's not a mask. Itsa mah face.
Max: Really, I figured you were some kinda masked wrestler.
Strong Bad: Well, when I'm not answering emails, ruling StrongBadia, or Kicking The Cheat, I do moonlight as a semi-pro wrestlem'n. All the ladies love the Strong Bad.
Tycho: I liked you better when you were poorly animated and had a thick accent. At least you vaguely resembled an actual wrestler then.
Strong Bad: Except Homestar was the star of the show back then, and I was cast as a two-bit villain before my triumphant ascension to the top.
Tycho: Exactly. And he's the one with the girl, not you.
Strong Bad: Oh, that's it! When this game is over, Imma gonna through a brick at your smug face and then we'll see who can get the girl.
Heavy: YOU TELL HIM, LEETLE HEAVY!
Tycho: I'm taking your mask and boxing gloves as souvenirs, and I don't care if they're not supposed to come off.
Heavy: IZ POSSIBLE, SOME MY FRIENDS WEAR RABBIT HEADS AS HATS.
Max:..... what did you say?
Heavy: SO, LEETLE HEAVY, WHY YOU ALWAYS WEAR MASK?
Strong Bad: Oh, it's not a mask. Itsa mah face.
Max: Really, I figured you were some kinda masked wrestler.
Strong Bad: Well, when I'm not answering emails, ruling StrongBadia, or Kicking The Cheat, I do moonlight as a semi-pro wrestlem'n. All the ladies love the Strong Bad.
Tycho: I liked you better when you were poorly animated and had a thick accent. At least you vaguely resembled an actual wrestler then.
Strong Bad: Except Homestar was the star of the show back then, and I was cast as a two-bit villain before my triumphant ascension to the top.
Tycho: Exactly. And he's the one with the girl, not you.
Strong Bad: Oh, that's it! When this game is over, Imma gonna through a brick at your smug face and then we'll see who can get the girl.
Heavy: YOU TELL HIM, LEETLE HEAVY!
Tycho: I'm taking your mask and boxing gloves as souvenirs, and I don't care if they're not supposed to come off.
Heavy: IZ POSSIBLE, SOME MY FRIENDS WEAR RABBIT HEADS AS HATS.
Max:..... what did you say?
I just wanna say that heavy does not always shout, so not every sentence heavy says has to be all caps. Other then that it seems good.
I'M NOT A JAPAN, FRANCE, OR SOMTHING :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
Pepsi do you read your posts? "I'm not a japan, france, or something" has got to be the worst yet. First off, Japan is a country, not a race. France too, is a country and not a race. Something just dignifies that you think everyone else who isn't English has bad English grammar, which is true to some extant but at least we can understand them clearly. You seem to just type bad grammar on purpose. Seriously who can misspell poker the exact same way all the time. It's just unnatural to type porker night by accident. Why would you even be reaching for the "r" key at that point if you are going for the "k" They aren't even remotely close to each other on the keyboard. Many, if not all, of us want you to stop typing so atrociously and actually try to sound coherent. Is that to much to ask? Is it really? I mean do you even see the red line when under a word when it's misspelled? Please, if you have any intelligence at all in that puny little speck of dust you call a brain, read over what you have typed, and actually try to make it sound like you are speaking.
Heavy: So, what will you spend winnings on?
Strong Bad: Well, Bubs' got a new Jack'o'hammer in stock that shoots fire as it drills. The possibilities are endless!
Max: I'm working on an insurance policy in case this freelance police bit busts.
Tycho: You're going to start your own agency?
Max: In a manner of speaking. I'm planning my own development company in case the series gets dropped again.
Strong Bad: I can't even begin to figure out how that works.
Tycho: I plan on investing my money on a 401k and hopefully raise enough money for my retirement fund to buy my own islan- *bursts into laughter* yeah I'm just kidding I'll just blow it on Warhammer figurines.
Max: What about you, tall stuff? What could a deadly mercenary like you ever want out of life?
Heavy: LIFETIME SUPPLY OF DALOKOHS BAR!
Max: Hey, anyone wanna go rooting around in the resources for unused assets?
Strong Bad: You can kiss my assets! No, really. It's the closest you'll come to the real thing, baby. Wait, what? I mean-- AAGH!
Tycho: <shrugs and reaches off screen pulling out a flat texture of Strong Bad's chest with abs drawn on it>
Strong Bad: WHAT? Aw, man! Why did they gotta bogart the Ab-Abber 2000? I coulda strutted my majesty all around those low-poly sets!
Heavy: IS MY TURN! <reaches offscreen and pulls out some lines of code - declarations of variables for a TF2 RPG> HUH? WHAT IS ERR-PUG?
Tycho: All I can say is, get used to taking turns when you shoot people.
Note: both are real, the latter was a joke by Valve.
You can't just add .avi to anything. Also, you lived from Canada? What on earth does that mean? Also, you can't just try to use people's own questions/insults against them like that.
Strong Bad: Pepsi, you got a bigger speech impediment then homestank!
Tycho: Pepsi, your more retarded then that Mac lover Charles!
Heavy: I UNDERSTAND PYRO BETTER THEN YOU!
Max: I wanna use you as a new dartboard!
Concerning the fact that Heavy has no idea that he's a video game character that keeps getting killed:
Heavy: THIS IS WORSE THAN THE DREAMS IN WHICH I DIE MANY TIMES!
Tycho: Yes, about those. What else do these dreams entail? Some sort of cloning process? Or perhaps a socially awkward person yelling at a computer screen?
Heavy: ...GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
Heavy: I raise with Horseless Headless Horseman's head in addition to leetle scout mask.
Tycho: I'll throw in Dr. Raven Blood. He could be yours.
Strong Bad: All I got left is this creepy painting from Graw Mad's closet. You can keep it if I win. That thing gives me the jibblies.
<Come on in here!>
Stong Bad: Jibblie
Max: Paintings and heads are neat and all, but I think we should make it more interesting. I'm throwing in a soul switcher and this wicked skull I found.
Strong Bad: Where'd you get that wicked skull?
Max: Just lying around the ocean.
Skull: I AM MURRAY!! THE DEMONIC SKULL! TREMBLE BEFORE MY POWERS OF EVIL!! I WILL WIN THIS HAND MYSELF AND SUMMON MY HELL TROOPS TO BURN THE WORLD TO THE GROUND!!
Tycho: That's no Jim...
Max: Cute little guy.
Heavy: Iz not possibul!
Strong Bad: Jibblie
Max: Alright, "Player"! You are about to feel the wrath of my lagomorphic abilities! I bet my gun and my Freelance Police badge. You bet your soul. Well, actually, you just bet a few chips. But that doesn't matter. Let's play!
HEAVY: BONUS ROUND
Heavy: Leetle man challenge me to poker?! Hahahaha! My cards will squash you like bug. I bet zis weapon. You shall feel the wrath of HEAVY WEAPONS GUY!
STRONG BAD: BONUS ROUND
Strong Bad: Alright, crap for brains. Let's make this quick. I've got some ladies waiting outside and I prepared my lips for make-outting! I bet these cool, cool glasses. Bring it on like Diddy Kong, "Player"!
TYCHO: BONUS ROUND
Tycho: Alright, a-hole. I'm about to molest you worse than a horny Fruit
Fucker
. I bet this watch I got from Gabe. Let's do this. Oh, by the way, it's transferable by death.
ANNOUNCER: {voiceover, reading the words on screen} The following is an extremely well paid for commercial advertisement {pronounced ad-VER-tis-ment} and strongbad, heavy, max, and tycho belongs to hothead game, telltale games, valve, and the brother chaps {fade in that says "you'l see"}.
{cut to mac and pc}
MAC: hello im mac
PC: and i am pc
{zoom out that you could see max, heavy, strongbad and tycho,}
strongbad: and we are the players from hothead, valve and telltale games
max: {overlapping Strong Bad} and don't forget homestar runner dot net i mean dot org i mean
heavy, tycho, strongbad: WE GET IT!!
mac: thanks for watching this debut trailer on porker night so this november we give away the DVD and blu-ray for you later on-
pc: and there will be a leaked footage gameplay will come your way
strong bad: comming soon on homestar runner dot com
heavy: like a comic of saxton hale
tycho: who is saxton hale?
heavy: wait untill the end
mac: and now windows 7 is coming up on pc and mac
pc: so we have to bring you a demo coming soon
max: {max looks up} as the President of the United States i command you to {max point up} LOOK!
{they all look up and they see the cheat flying on the plane by bearing the message "PC RULES XD!!"}
{and they look at pc}
PC: {sad} sorry mac
{cut to mac book and the logo says "MAC"}
tycho: well unleash that the f**king tittel
{"iT'S OVER!" appears on the screen.}
narrator strong bad: ITS OVER!!! {fade out to the other commercials}
Comments
what are you?!
first word im a gamer i know anything
second you don't have to shout with large words in it
Translation.
better translated.
i think you are thinking of me there at that 11-year old thing
no, we're thinking of you times two which then forms into the most malevolent and idiotic thing telltale has ever allowed on the forms. Ok lets just end this now and forever. Now someone come up with something cause I'm out of ideas right now.
No, you're just the latter half of that statement.
Strong Bad: Yo, my Russian friend, where can I get a gun like that?
Heavy: IZ MY GUN, YOU CANNOT HAVE IT!!
Tycho: I think he means, where did you buy it?
Heavy: OH. I BUY FROM MANN CO. IZ VERY EXPENSIZE. IT COSTS FOUR-HUNDRED -
Tycho: Four Hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon for twelve seconds. You told us like a thousand times.
Max: Now is not a good time to mock the guy with the minigun.
Strong Bad: Mann Co, eh? I wonder if Bubs stocks any of his junk. What else could I get?
HEAVY: OH, THEY MAKE EVERYTHING, LIKE SANDVITCH, CAMERA BEARD, JARATE...
Strong Bad: Ooooh, a camera beard. I can spy on Strong Sad and have a manly beard at the same time.
Max: wait, what's Jarate?
Strong Bad: Isn't that the jar of whoozit?
Heavy: YES, SNIPER THROWS IT AT BAD GUYS AND THEY GET COVERED IN IT.
Strong Bad: ..... jibblyjibblyjibblyjibblyjibbly......
Heavy: SO, LEETLE HEAVY, WHY YOU ALWAYS WEAR MASK?
Strong Bad: Oh, it's not a mask. Itsa mah face.
Max: Really, I figured you were some kinda masked wrestler.
Strong Bad: Well, when I'm not answering emails, ruling StrongBadia, or Kicking The Cheat, I do moonlight as a semi-pro wrestlem'n. All the ladies love the Strong Bad.
Tycho: I liked you better when you were poorly animated and had a thick accent. At least you vaguely resembled an actual wrestler then.
Strong Bad: Except Homestar was the star of the show back then, and I was cast as a two-bit villain before my triumphant ascension to the top.
Tycho: Exactly. And he's the one with the girl, not you.
Strong Bad: Oh, that's it! When this game is over, Imma gonna through a brick at your smug face and then we'll see who can get the girl.
Heavy: YOU TELL HIM, LEETLE HEAVY!
Tycho: I'm taking your mask and boxing gloves as souvenirs, and I don't care if they're not supposed to come off.
Heavy: IZ POSSIBLE, SOME MY FRIENDS WEAR RABBIT HEADS AS HATS.
Max:..... what did you say?
He's right, the games about speed dating with fat chicks.
I just wanna say that heavy does not always shout, so not every sentence heavy says has to be all caps. Other then that it seems good.
I'M NOT A JAPAN, FRANCE, OR SOMTHING :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
Yes, but your grammar is atrocious my friend.
Is that the new Christine O'Donnell campaign ad?
Fixed.
Pepsi do you read your posts? "I'm not a japan, france, or something" has got to be the worst yet. First off, Japan is a country, not a race. France too, is a country and not a race. Something just dignifies that you think everyone else who isn't English has bad English grammar, which is true to some extant but at least we can understand them clearly. You seem to just type bad grammar on purpose. Seriously who can misspell poker the exact same way all the time. It's just unnatural to type porker night by accident. Why would you even be reaching for the "r" key at that point if you are going for the "k" They aren't even remotely close to each other on the keyboard. Many, if not all, of us want you to stop typing so atrociously and actually try to sound coherent. Is that to much to ask? Is it really? I mean do you even see the red line when under a word when it's misspelled? Please, if you have any intelligence at all in that puny little speck of dust you call a brain, read over what you have typed, and actually try to make it sound like you are speaking.
Yes, we know you aren't
or
I don't know about the "something" part, but you probably are one, whatever that means.
LOUD NOISES!!!
(Also, I am America)
Strong Bad: Well, Bubs' got a new Jack'o'hammer in stock that shoots fire as it drills. The possibilities are endless!
Max: I'm working on an insurance policy in case this freelance police bit busts.
Tycho: You're going to start your own agency?
Max: In a manner of speaking. I'm planning my own development company in case the series gets dropped again.
Strong Bad: I can't even begin to figure out how that works.
Tycho: I plan on investing my money on a 401k and hopefully raise enough money for my retirement fund to buy my own islan- *bursts into laughter* yeah I'm just kidding I'll just blow it on Warhammer figurines.
Max: What about you, tall stuff? What could a deadly mercenary like you ever want out of life?
Heavy: LIFETIME SUPPLY OF DALOKOHS BAR!
Strong Bad: You can kiss my assets! No, really. It's the closest you'll come to the real thing, baby. Wait, what? I mean-- AAGH!
Tycho: <shrugs and reaches off screen pulling out a flat texture of Strong Bad's chest with abs drawn on it>
Strong Bad: WHAT? Aw, man! Why did they gotta bogart the Ab-Abber 2000? I coulda strutted my majesty all around those low-poly sets!
Heavy: IS MY TURN! <reaches offscreen and pulls out some lines of code - declarations of variables for a TF2 RPG> HUH? WHAT IS ERR-PUG?
Tycho: All I can say is, get used to taking turns when you shoot people.
Note: both are real, the latter was a joke by Valve.
THANKS.AVI
but i lived from canada in ontario
uh NameOfUser...
what are you?!
You can't just add .avi to anything. Also, you lived from Canada? What on earth does that mean? Also, you can't just try to use people's own questions/insults against them like that.
Translated.
Tycho: Pepsi, your more retarded then that Mac lover Charles!
Heavy: I UNDERSTAND PYRO BETTER THEN YOU!
Max: I wanna use you as a new dartboard!
Heavy: THIS IS WORSE THAN THE DREAMS IN WHICH I DIE MANY TIMES!
Tycho: Yes, about those. What else do these dreams entail? Some sort of cloning process? Or perhaps a socially awkward person yelling at a computer screen?
Heavy: ...GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
http://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Scream_Fortress
Unfortunately I can't think of any witty enough dialogue that ties in the "Horseless Headless Horseman".
Max: Nice to meet you too.
Heavy: I raise with Horseless Headless Horseman's head in addition to leetle scout mask.
Tycho: I'll throw in Dr. Raven Blood. He could be yours.
Strong Bad: All I got left is this creepy painting from Graw Mad's closet. You can keep it if I win. That thing gives me the jibblies.
<Come on in here!>
Stong Bad: Jibblie
Max: Paintings and heads are neat and all, but I think we should make it more interesting. I'm throwing in a soul switcher and this wicked skull I found.
Strong Bad: Where'd you get that wicked skull?
Max: Just lying around the ocean.
Skull: I AM MURRAY!! THE DEMONIC SKULL! TREMBLE BEFORE MY POWERS OF EVIL!! I WILL WIN THIS HAND MYSELF AND SUMMON MY HELL TROOPS TO BURN THE WORLD TO THE GROUND!!
Tycho: That's no Jim...
Max: Cute little guy.
Heavy: Iz not possibul!
Strong Bad: Jibblie
Max: Alright, "Player"! You are about to feel the wrath of my lagomorphic abilities! I bet my gun and my Freelance Police badge. You bet your soul. Well, actually, you just bet a few chips. But that doesn't matter. Let's play!
HEAVY: BONUS ROUND
Heavy: Leetle man challenge me to poker?! Hahahaha! My cards will squash you like bug. I bet zis weapon. You shall feel the wrath of HEAVY WEAPONS GUY!
STRONG BAD: BONUS ROUND
Strong Bad: Alright, crap for brains. Let's make this quick. I've got some ladies waiting outside and I prepared my lips for make-outting! I bet these cool, cool glasses. Bring it on like Diddy Kong, "Player"!
TYCHO: BONUS ROUND
Tycho: Alright, a-hole. I'm about to molest you worse than a horny Fruit
_____________________________________________________________
ANNOUNCER: {voiceover, reading the words on screen} The following is an extremely well paid for commercial advertisement {pronounced ad-VER-tis-ment} and strongbad, heavy, max, and tycho belongs to hothead game, telltale games, valve, and the brother chaps {fade in that says "you'l see"}.
{cut to mac and pc}
MAC: hello im mac
PC: and i am pc
{zoom out that you could see max, heavy, strongbad and tycho,}
strongbad: and we are the players from hothead, valve and telltale games
max: {overlapping Strong Bad} and don't forget homestar runner dot net i mean dot org i mean
heavy, tycho, strongbad: WE GET IT!!
mac: thanks for watching this debut trailer on porker night so this november we give away the DVD and blu-ray for you later on-
pc: and there will be a leaked footage gameplay will come your way
strong bad: comming soon on homestar runner dot com
heavy: like a comic of saxton hale
tycho: who is saxton hale?
heavy: wait untill the end
mac: and now windows 7 is coming up on pc and mac
pc: so we have to bring you a demo coming soon
max: {max looks up} as the President of the United States i command you to {max point up} LOOK!
{they all look up and they see the cheat flying on the plane by bearing the message "PC RULES XD!!"}
{and they look at pc}
PC: {sad} sorry mac
{cut to mac book and the logo says "MAC"}
tycho: well unleash that the f**king tittel
{"iT'S OVER!" appears on the screen.}
narrator strong bad: ITS OVER!!! {fade out to the other commercials}