Insult Sword Fighting! (Create your own insults!)
I was inspired by another thread (I'm not stealing an idea, somebody said that somebody else should be an insult sword fighter. I thought it would be cool to start a thread for insults).
Here's a few rules (I thought I'd list them formally as I've never invented my own forum game.... I say "invent" but I am aware that this is basically a variation of previous forum games).
Rules;
Hope that's not too many rules
Here's a few rules (I thought I'd list them formally as I've never invented my own forum game.... I say "invent" but I am aware that this is basically a variation of previous forum games).
Rules;
- After you reply to an insult you have to make another for the next person to reply to.
- You can't reply to your own insults.
- Insults do not have to be in-line with monkey island but you will get extra points for it.
- Insults do not need to rhyme but you'll get extra points for it.
- Pirate 'lingo' is more than acceptable.
- There is no point scoring system. Any and all points are purely honourific (like "brownie points") and may be awarded by anybody to anybody for any reason.
- Please copy or quote the insult you're replying to to avoid confusing other members.
- Don't steal insults from other members of the forums. Using famous quotes is ok.
- NO SWEARING!
- Nothing too lewd or suggestive or otherwise in conflict with the TTG forum terms and conditions. (Things that are only suggestive when given plenty of thought or if you happen to think of them in a certain light or that would go 'over the heads' of most people are acceptable but please try to use good judgement and edit your insult if another player thinks you're too rude).
- No comments too personal to any on the Forums. If certain members of the forum have revealed anything personal to you or have demonstrated some kind of behaviour that might be embarrassing then please keep it to yourself. This is supposed to be a little fun; we're not aiming to really hurt people's feelings, here.
Hope that's not too many rules
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Comments
I have to, or you couldn't follow!
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Destroying you will make the world a better place!
Kibble you would make a bad sausage!
I throw up every time I hear your name!
When i don't smell your breath, world is already a better place!
You are handsome as a baboon in a corsét!
But I can outclass your looks without breaking a sweat!
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By the looks of your fightin' I'd say your mother taught ye' to fight!
Well, I can't help you're my mother, right?
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You remind me of an orange!
How appropriate, your brains are just the size of it!
Is that your sword? Looks more like a needle for knitting!
You remind me of a disgarded syringe!
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You've been in more laps than a napkin!
Ye've got the intellegence of an Atari video game, and the looks to match.
At least I have some Class(ic)
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Didn't I see you last week in the monkey cage at the zoo?
You smell!
At least, i change my clothes from time to time!
I saw better swordsman then you on a theatre stage!
Having smelled your odour, i'm sure i'm in hell.
Never before have I seen such a lackluster technique!
I bet their swords were sharper than your wit.
I'm sorry, but your fighting just causes me to fall asleep.
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I've seen sloths more agile than you.
Even in your own sewing-boutique?
So, you got that job of a zoo-keeper after all?
Soon, my sword will be wearing your feminine underwear!
In just a few moments, you'll be food for my parrot.
Judging by your physique, he eats more then you a lot!
Your haircut is one of the worst on the whole Caribbean!
I could beat you twice - in my sleep!
you don't like my mullet? prepare to be a fillet! Yeah; in your dreams!
When they made you they broke the mold; they didn't want to make that mistake ever again!
Well when I'm done with you, that's where you will be staying
To the mold one:
At least I was made in proportion
I have never seen a duller wit than yours.
And yet I've seen a monkey outwit you on all fours.
Yours is a face even your mother can't love!
Then open your eyes and prepare to be blindingly floored!
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I'll send you and your crew to te bottom of the sea!
Gonna be a little hard when I send your sword down there.
When I'm through with you, you will be like a fish after skinning. (Ah West Side Story...)
That's not my face it's a mirror on your hood!
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This is the end, prepare to taste lead!
I was wondering just how long it would take to try winning
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Defeating you is the highlight of my day!
If you want to do that, ye'd better start to pray!
_____________________
I've killed more pirates then there are fish in the sea.
With your breath we'll be lucky to find 3!
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Never in my life have I witnessed such incompetance!
Oh, give yourself a chance.
Even the white whale couldn't escape from me sword!
That's only because your drivel would make him so utterly bored!
This battle is the easiest i've ever fought
Is that what you call her, no wonder your wife got bored!
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Let your humiliation be a lesson to all that stand against me!
With no battles to speak of you certainly got it bought!
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No one shall dare speak untruths about my victorious reign!
Because to pretend you've ever won a swordfight would be such a terrible strain
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Only cabbages and potatoes would fear your swordplay!
You have the footwork of a drunk gorilla!
The only humiliation will be your pants hanging on a tree!
I once plundered two ships at once!
Shame they were only models, you dunce!
My razor sharp wit will slice you in half!
I'm waiting to hear it, I can do with a laugh!
Your insults are wetter than a particularly heavy monsoon
I cannot put into words how sick you make me feel
Then just make a noise, i'm gonna make you squeal!
Your agility in battle is like that of a seal
I've eaten barnacles like you for my mornin' meal!
No man can face a mighty pirate such as myself!