Insult Sword Fighting! (Create your own insults!)

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Comments

  • edited November 2009
    Icedhope wrote: »
    And so will the laughs, when they see what your wearing.
    ---
    I've seen granma fight with more poise than you.

    And I heard even SHE would beat you in a fight!


    You should be honored that a legend like me is ending your life.
  • edited November 2009
    A legendary pastry chef, and since I'm not a souffle you won't make me fall.


    My sword will skewer you like a kabob!
  • edited November 2009
    Lena_P wrote: »
    A legendary pastry chef, and since I'm not a souffle you won't make me fall.


    My sword will skewer you like a kabob!

    The only thing you achieve with your insults is making me hungry!
    I don't know why I'm fighting you. You got no talent at all!
  • edited November 2009
    Well that makes two of us! Wait ...
    If your sword was as piercing as your scream you'd be a threat.
  • edited November 2009
    Lena_P wrote: »

    If your sword was as piercing as your scream you'd be a threat.

    I think you mistake my scream, for when you stabbed yourself.
    ---

    I could defeat you with one eye closed, and hand tied behind my back.
  • edited November 2009
    Icedhope wrote: »
    I think you mistake my scream, for when you stabbed yourself.
    ---

    I could defeat you with one eye closed, and hand tied behind my back.

    You are confusing something. Bondage is NOT a fighting stile.


    You'd win every trophy in an ugly contest.
  • edited November 2009
    I hate to break it to you, but those dog biscuits they gave you weren't a runner-up prize.


    You're so slow, turtles run circles around you!
  • edited November 2009
    Lena_P wrote: »
    I hate to break it to you, but those dog biscuits they gave you weren't a runner-up prize.


    You're so slow, turtles run circles around you!

    Nah, I'm just too fast for your lazy eyes!


    Now would be the right time to write your last will.
  • edited November 2009
    It will need updating after I kill you and take all your gold ...


    I've met chihuahuas more dangerous than you!
  • edited November 2009
    Lena_P wrote: »
    It will need updating after I kill you and take all your gold ...


    I've met chihuahuas more dangerous than you!

    How appropriate, you are as menacing as a poodle.


    I'd have to invent a new word to describe properly how bad your fighting skill REALLY is.
  • edited November 2009
    I'm so good I leave you speechless, eh?


    You call that a sword? It looks more like a potato peeler!
  • edited November 2009
    Lena_P wrote: »
    I'm so good I leave you speechless, eh?


    You call that a sword? It looks more like a potato peeler!

    Just want to make it a fair fight.


    Shouldn't you be in kindergarden?
  • edited November 2009
    Shouldn't you be in the old folks' home?


    This fight won't even take me a minute.
  • edited November 2009
    Lena_P wrote: »
    Shouldn't you be in the old folks' home?


    This fight won't even take me a minute.

    You're giving up THAT fast?


    Shall I give you some lessons in fighting? You seem to need them.
  • edited November 2009
    Sure. I've heard it's important to learn from failures.


    Pathetic! I'd get more challenge out of fighting a cactus!
  • edited November 2009
    Cactus? Plants? Biology? So the nerdometer goes up, NERD!
  • edited November 2009
    Nerdometer? Where'd you learn to read one of those? Space camp?


    I hope you've been measured for a casket. It'll save me some time.
  • edited November 2009
    How appropriate, you fight like a grave digger! (( i use something like this every time I am losing insult play xD ))
    Thank you... No really... I have to feed my dogs in few minutes.
  • edited November 2009
    I didn't know you were a polygamist. :p


    Oh was that an attack? I barely noticed.
  • edited November 2009
    If id take beatings every day from a girl, I wouldnt notice minor injuries too.
    Ha! Your Dark Ninja Dave doll fights more fiercome than you!
  • edited November 2009
    I don't need to be fierce; I'm so fast my victims don't have time to scream.


    My dog could take you on in a fight!
  • edited November 2009
    Lena_P wrote: »
    I don't need to be fierce; I'm so fast my victims don't have time to scream.


    My dog could take you on in a fight!

    I guess you are too scared to fight me yourself.


    I'm a legend! Pirates all over the Caribbean know and fear my name!
  • edited November 2009
    And...you are?
    ===

    I've killed so many, my sword is stained with their blood.
  • edited November 2009
    It's not your fighting skills they're afraid of, FartmasterTM!


    My blade was forged by the Grand Master sword smith of Japan!

    Edit: Oops, too slow. It's all yours Icedhope.
  • edited November 2009
    Icedhope wrote: »
    I've killed so many, my sword is stained with their blood.

    It's not blood I see there! Your sword is just rusty!

    (DOUBLE ATTACK! WOHOO!)
    Lena_P wrote: »
    My blade was forged by the Grand Master sword smith of Japan!

    Now it makes sense why you can't fight properly with it. You didn't understand the manual.


    Beating you is as difficult as counting to 10!
  • edited November 2009
    FYI, 6 comes after 4 ...


    You're so clumsy, you can't walk 5 feet without tripping!
  • edited November 2009
    Next time I trip, Ill make a bloddy carve into your chest
    Your sword swinging reminds me of my childhood
  • edited November 2009
    Next time I trip, Ill make a bloddy carve into your chest
    Your sword swinging reminds me of my childhood

    So you got beaten up a lot?


    Usually I wouldn't fight enemies as weak as you!
  • edited November 2009
    Yeah, usually you pick on the even weaker!


    You wouldn't know a fo'c'sle from a mizzen mast!
  • edited November 2009
    Ah, so I see you can read, that explains why you can't swing a sword.

    I've studied the work of many swordmaster, your no match for me.
  • edited November 2009
    Yes I am. I taught them all they knew


    I fight with the fury of a thousand men.
  • edited November 2009
    And the skill of 1/2 a man


    My father told me to only fight those bigger than me, but for you, I'll make an exception.
  • edited November 2009
    He also told you not to eat anything bigger than your head, but you clearly took an exception there, too.

    ---

    I bet you like the smell of your own farts.
  • puzzleboxpuzzlebox Telltale Alumni
    edited November 2009
    I suppose you can't help smelling yours, with your head so far up your own ass.


    I'll lop your legs off at the knees.
  • edited November 2009
    Trying to cut me down to your own size?


    I've met puppies more intimidating than you!
  • edited November 2009
    So you're afraid of dogs too?


    Me and my cutlass will quarter you!
  • edited November 2009
    With that dull sword, you couldn't give me a shave and a haircut!


    My sword will run through you like a knife through butter.
  • edited November 2009
    Well here, taste my blade
    ----
    I've seen chimpanzee's with more poise than you.
  • edited November 2009
    At least we're both more intelligent than you.
    ---
    Why don't you slip into something comfortable... like a coma?
  • puzzleboxpuzzlebox Telltale Alumni
    edited November 2009
    Why not? I could beat you even in my sleep.


    I've seen custard less yellow than you.
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