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Insult Sword Fighting! (Create your own insults!)

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Comments

  • wavefunctionwavefunction
    edited November 2009
    That is probably because your mom is a lousy cook.
    It looks like you could REALLY use fighting lessons
  • Little WriterLittle Writer
    edited November 2009
    Yeah, 'cause I'm not learning a THING from you.

    I'm gonna turn you into roadkill!
  • IcedhopeIcedhope
    edited December 2009
    Little Writer wrote: »
    Yeah, 'cause I'm not learning a THING from you.

    I'm gonna turn you into roadkill!


    By your smell, I'd guess you already were.

    ---

    I'll try not to guy you to fast.
  • TomPravetzTomPravetz
    edited December 2009
    That's gay. (Guy me?)


    The blood of my foes like you goes well with cookies.
  • FalancaFalanca
    edited December 2009
    You look young enough to sleep after drinking warm milk anyway.

    Only the ones that have sexual anxieties carry such big swords like yours.
  • dahoughtonukdahoughtonuk
    edited December 2009
    You're a complete Fraudian, I only just stole it from you.

    I heard you turn tail at the slightest fright
  • RemolayRemolay
    edited December 2009
    I heard you turn yours when there isn't even a startle
  • tredlowtredlow
    edited December 2009
    What's the matter, cat got your insult?

    Your first mistake was challenging ME!
  • dahoughtonukdahoughtonuk
    edited December 2009
    And yours was that you could dispatch me, when in truth you can't even match me.

    I've fought corpses with more vitality
  • tredlowtredlow
    edited December 2009
    Yes, and you lost.

    The devil himself tremble in fear when my name is uttered!
  • Eddiejo6Eddiejo6
    edited December 2009
    Yhea but that is not because that he`s scared it`s the bad way you fight

    I have killed everyone i my way with this sword
  • Lena_PLena_P
    edited December 2009
    So I'll take a step to my left before I kill you.

    I must warn you; I've never lost a fight.
  • IcedhopeIcedhope
    edited December 2009
    Lena_P wrote: »
    So I'll take a step to my left before I kill you.

    I must warn you; I've never lost a fight.

    Sorry, to break it to you but they must've died laughing.
    ---

    As soon as this is over, I'll mount your head on my mast.
  • BlankCanvasDJBlankCanvasDJ
    edited December 2009
    Well then at least your ship would have one brain on board.

    You flap your mouth like a jolly roger in the wind.
  • Lena_PLena_P
    edited December 2009
    And you're as white as a flag of truce!

    I'm gonna like, sooo kick your butt!
  • dahoughtonukdahoughtonuk
    edited December 2009
    Look, you're only going to make an ass of yourself.

    I've seen teddy bears more scary than you.
  • Little WriterLittle Writer
    edited December 2009
    I'm not interested in your personal collections, kid.

    ---

    The plagues of Egypt will pale by what I've got in store for you!
  • thesporkmanthesporkman
    edited December 2009
    You'll certainly be pale when my sword parts you like the Red Sea!
    ---

    I'm going to gut you like a fish!
  • RemolayRemolay
    edited January 2010
    your aim sucks so bad you'd have to aim a little more to the behind you to do so.

    I shall burn your corpse!
  • dahoughtonukdahoughtonuk
    edited January 2010
    Remolay wrote: »

    I shall burn your corpse!

    Bravado doesn't work when you're so ashen.

    I know why you refused to fight me in daylight
    Your senses are not impaired during the night
    Obvious when you inaccuracy is such a terrible blight.
    And you're facing the wrong way to fight
  • LowMoralFiberLowMoralFiber
    edited January 2010
    Your poetic "skills" seem to incite
    A need to run you through with all my might
    You've spent too many words to communicate your spite
    That you've already felt my sword's bite!
    When I'm through with you, there won't be enough left of you to form a competent zombie!
  • Lena_PLena_P
    edited January 2010
    I came here to fight, not get diet advice.

    I'll carve my initials into your chest!
  • thesporkmanthesporkman
    edited January 2010
    Knowing you, you'll misspell them.

    I shall drink grog from your disembodied skull!
  • Juicius MaximusJuicius Maximus
    edited January 2010
    What's the matter, lose your sippy cup again?

    Some folks call this a sword, some a scabbard, I call it your DOOM!
  • Lena_PLena_P
    edited January 2010
    I call it a piece of limp leather.
    (Scabbards are actually the thing you store the sword in. It's not a type of blade.)

    Would you mind telling me your next of kin so I can tell the undertaker where to send his bill?
  • TomPravetzTomPravetz
    edited January 2010
    Oh yeah?
    You're ugly!
  • Lena_PLena_P
    edited January 2010
    That's a mirror.

    I demand satisfaction!
  • Juicius MaximusJuicius Maximus
    edited January 2010
    When I'm through with you, you'll be demanding orthopedic traction!
    (CMI style!)
    You look like something my cat threw up.
  • RemolayRemolay
    edited January 2010
    You look like something your cat pooped out.

    You have the fighting style of a dead clam!
  • Lena_PLena_P
    edited January 2010
    Yes, I have a hard shell to crack and I'm all muscle!

    I'll run my blade through you to the hilt!
  • Juicius MaximusJuicius Maximus
    edited January 2010
    Too bad you're only licensed to carry a retractable rubber prop blade

    My dueling skills are the stuff of legend. Brutal Legend!
  • RemolayRemolay
    edited January 2010
    The Brutal Legend of the guy who trips over his sword, I like that
    I have battled many foes, ran them all through.
    The most dangerous pirates you ever knew
    Some were clean but most were sleazy,
    So as you can see, I can beat you easy
  • Lena_PLena_P
    edited January 2010
    Whether spotless or super greasy,
    A foe's measure is his ferocity.
    A pirate obsessed with cleanliness,
    frightens me not I must confess.

    Taste cold steel you two bit hack!
  • Juicius MaximusJuicius Maximus
    edited January 2010
    I'll need at least half that many hacks to defeat you.

    I'm a halfway decent swordsman, but ye be a first-class coward!
  • Gman5852Gman5852
    edited January 2010
    At least I'm first class something unlike YOU

    My sword has killed thousands of pirates across the sea
  • RemolayRemolay
    edited January 2010
    let me guess, your own men, you flung it across the room, right?

    You have the coordination of Britney Spears when Drunk!
  • TheNuclearReactorTheNuclearReactor
    edited January 2010
    Remolay wrote: »
    You have the coordination of Britney Spears when Drunk!


    I don't need coordination; I have a frickin road roller. I shall flatten you!

    ---


    I will cut you down, cut your arms off, and put them in my backyard as part of my Fear Garden!
  • Lena_PLena_P
    edited January 2010
    Funny, I was just thinking you'd make great blood meal for my rose bushes!

    I almost feel guilty, killing such an easy target.
  • RemolayRemolay
    edited January 2010
    so do I, but you dont see me complaining about your death

    Your sword is like play-doh, bending to my will
  • Little WriterLittle Writer
    edited January 2010
    Glad to hear you got that job in the daycare center. (not really original, just a variation of a popular theme of Monkey Island insults ...)

    ---

    I'll slice you open from head to toe!
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