Insult Sword Fighting! (Create your own insults!)

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Comments

  • edited January 2010
    Your uncontrollable eating habits have got to go.


    I've seen better clothes on Badgers!
  • edited January 2010
    Your obsession with clothes really shows you cant use a sword
    Insert Insult Here
  • edited January 2010
    A shame that your brain couldn't hold any more insults.


    I can slice into a million pieces before you can even blink.
  • edited January 2010
    It'd be nice for both of us if you could also think

    ----

    You call that a spoon?
  • edited January 2010
    Indeed I do. Why soil a sword on a baboon?


    You couldn't scare a kitten!
  • edited January 2010
    At least I'm not scared by them!


    My ship's flag is dyed in the blood of my enemies!
  • edited January 2010
    have all your enemies been mosquito's?


    I have defeated many a powerful foe with my wits, sword, and one hand tied behind my back
  • edited January 2010
    Who ties their hand behind their back before fighting? That's a clear disadvantage. Seriously, I can't see why you'd do that. That seems very counter-intuitive to me. It seems like, if anything, that would help you lose the fight. Just don't see any logic there at all.


    You look like a sponge that's been used so much that it's all dirty and not very absorbent any more and you know it needs replacing but you can't be bothered to go to the place that sells sponges and whenever you're there you just forget and it builds up over time to annoy you more and more until you finally buy a whole pack of sponges but that just makes you take sponges for granted and you're like "heh, this sponge is kind of dirty... well, there are 9 more in the pack, so I may as well throw this one away" and you keep doing that until you're left with one sponge which keeps getting dirtier and dirtier and you're back in square one and you vow to be more efficient with sponges in the future but you just know the same thing's going to keep happening indefinitely.
  • edited January 2010
    I keep stabbing and stabbing, but the talking doesn't stop!


    My name is Morgan Le Flay. You killed my uncle, prepare to die.
  • edited January 2010
    If your uncle is who taught you how to fight, i wont be dieing anytime soon

    my powers are unstoppable and your death is near
  • edited January 2010
    Alright, prepared to be bored to death by your macabre form of speaking

    Ever notice how your blood glistens off of my sword?
  • edited January 2010
    Didn't they ever teach you that swordfighting and LSD don't mix?

    ---

    Where do you want me to scatter your ashes?
  • edited January 2010
    Over your corpse

    I was killing people like you before you even picked up a sword.
  • edited January 2010
    Stop waving your cane around grandpa!


    Ye look like a bilge rat and ye smell like one too!
  • edited January 2010
    That's the second worst insult I've ever heard!


    My fancy sword play shall confuse you or maybe bore you to death.
  • edited January 2010
    Yes it will. Wow, I've never heard of someone making a comeback for their own insult inside said insult.


    You couldn't hit the broad side of a mountain.
  • edited January 2010
    you coulden't hit planet earth.

    it is a sight to see your blood mixed with your sweat and fear
  • edited January 2010
    I think you need glasses, because you're looking at a mirror.


    I could have both my hands duct-taped behind my back, and with little pieces of duct tape covering my eyes, and you could have a spear even. And I'd still defeat you.
  • edited January 2010
    In the clumsiness department, yeah I don't doubt that.


    My clever wit has stumped even the smartest of men!
  • edited January 2010
    My clever wit has stumped even the smartest of men!

    Be careful so you don't stump yourself then.


    My humour and footwork is not for the lesser educated!
  • edited February 2010
    So that's why you're not using any of them.


    I have been to hell and back, and I broke less sweat than you opening a jar of pickles.
  • edited February 2010
    tredlow wrote: »
    I have been to hell and back, and I broke less sweat than you opening a jar of pickles.

    Didn't break a sweat eh? In any case I don't want to know what that smell is.


    Do you want it well done or bloody as hell?
  • edited February 2010
    want what, are you so scared to fight me that you are bribing me with food.

    I have killed so many pirates, that Stan created a crypt for those who I killed, over 5 miles long.
  • edited February 2010
    From what I heard, all you did is make Stan to build a ridiculously large crypt. Then he hired a bunch of pirates to build it, which died halfway of construction.


    I've defeated pirates who eat people like you for breakfast.
  • edited February 2010
    tredlow wrote: »
    I've defeated pirates who eat people like you for breakfast.

    Well what can I say? Breakfast is the most important meal after all.


    When I kill you, I'm gonna wear you like the asshat that you are!
  • edited February 2010
    Still trying to find the right hat to distract from your face? Just give up.


    Go and boil your bottom, you son of a silly person!
  • edited February 2010
    Monty python taunts do not work on anyone, are you really so blank of mind
    my verbose mannerisms will persuade you to plead me to run thou through with thine own blade!
  • edited February 2010
    Remolay wrote: »
    my verbose mannerisms will persuade you to plead me to run thou through with thine own blade!

    Speaking in a different language does not count mate.


    I'm gonna make you eat your pants!
  • edited February 2010
    Because you are so poor and pethetic to afford food.


    My sword can slice even through the toughest of metals with my skills.
  • edited February 2010
    Making other people use your sword to cut metal isn't a skill.


    Even your sword is embarassed of your skills.
  • edited February 2010
    Then I cant imagine what your sword is thinking of you.


    I could kill you faster than sonic could run around a house.
  • edited February 2010
    probably after you took away his shoess (his shoes is what makes him fast remember)


    I once turned a pirate like you into stew
  • edited February 2010
    Changing his name is not a claim to swordfighting fame


    Your skills are as rusty as your sword.
  • edited February 2010
    At least mine has been used. You never even touched yours.


    You've only won past battles by emiting your body odor.
  • edited February 2010
    Actually, you're smelling my Science Project!


    You punch like a buissness women who's wearing heels!
  • edited February 2010
    And yet it's still so easy for me to beat you.


    I'll kill you three times before you hit the ground!
  • edited February 2010
    You already hit it


    You will cry like the coward you are!
  • edited February 2010
    I might not if you would just take a bath.


    You'll never defeat my swordfighting skills!
  • edited February 2010
    Which ones?


    I'll defeat you quickly, I have a date
  • edited February 2010
    I'll just kill you now, as a favor to the person unfortunate enough to be your date.


    I bet you lost every battle you've fought.
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