Interactive fanfiction "A Brave New World" [FINISHED]

12930313234

Comments

  • Not really at all xD IRL i'm pretty shy... I'm rebellious to assholes if you mean that I won't put up with people's shit sometimes, though. :P But I only fight with words... I'd never make someone hurt themselves with a nail, that's mean ;_; Also, I try to be nice to everyone xD

    Hah, you're just like me!

    It's fine though, I guess story Devyn is just more badass than I am!! xD

    Living in the apocalypse for 8 months changes people.

    sardines posted: »

    Not really at all xD IRL i'm pretty shy... I'm rebellious to assholes if you mean that I won't put up with people's shit sometimes, though.

  • I remember that before I wrote a new chapters only for an hour and now I need 3 hours to write a chapter. Oh well.

    I'll try to finish the fanfic this weekend.

    I know that feel, I have school and football practice so I get home around 6:45 P.M. it really is hard to get a chapter up.

  • You know what I just realized? It took me 12 days to finish Season 1 and few months to finish Season 2. I feel like a lazy piece of shit now.

    As long as you don't make us wait as long as I did with Tales of Europe, now that was a long time. xD

  • I know that feel, bro.

    Uhh.....sis?

    You know what I just realized? It took me 12 days to finish Season 1 and few months to finish Season 2. I feel like a lazy piece of shit now.

  • edited September 2014

    Episode 5 - Divided We Fall [Part 5/6]

    (?) You chose to take the blame.

    "I-it was me..." I said unsurely. But then I restored my courage and became more assertive. "Yes. It was me."

    "Greg!" Devyn whispered.

    "Ahhh, I knew it. I knew that you were someone who would think of himself as a goddamn Che Gevara, as someone who would try to overwhelm me. You were barking, little doge. But I will bite." Peter talked through clenched teeth.

    He stared at Logan and Robert. Logan grinned and approached me. He roughly grabbed me and he started to drag me to Peter. I didn't even try to fight back. I had to go through this because there was no other way. Robert didn't move and silently looked at me. Then he squinted. Peter's unamused look was directed to the teen, but the tyrant didn't say anything. He only glared at me while I was kneeling in front of him. He chuckled and grabbed one of the nails from the nearby boxes. He gripped my hand and few seconds later I fel and overwhelming pain coming through my hand. I helplessly stared into the ground and looked at my dripping blood. I bit my lip and tried not to scream. I shouldn't do this..... But there are lots of things I shouldn't do.

    "STOP! IT WAS ME! I DID IT!" yelled Dev. She tried to run to me, but Ophelia grabbed her.

    "Hah, how cute is that! She tries to protect her friend!" Peter said mockingly.

    Another stab. Another moment of pain. I didn't know if I could die from it. I wasn't sure if I'm actually afraid of it. I just sit there and tried not to cry in pain. It's gonna be over. It's gonna be over soon. My whole left hand was covered in blood. I has gone through lots of aches, but this one was the worst. Everyone watched at me. Maybe they judged me. Maybe they didn't. I couldn't see anything because I screwed up my eyes and tried to pretend that it's a nightmare. A very realistic nightmare. Finally, Peter threw me on the ground and panted with a satisfied smile. I hardly leaned on my other hand and heavily breathed. I looked at my mutilated arm, but I haven't seen anything except red.

    "MATTHEW!" yelled Peter. A doctor quickly ran to him. "Take this guy and try to do something with his hand. I need him alive."

    "O-okay, sir." he said.

    Matthew approached me and helped me stand up. Zaphaeus came here too. He helped Matthew leading me to the hospital room. I just hanged on their hands and moved legs, trying to walk by myself. Doctor's hoodie was already soaked with blood. They said something to me, but I couldn't hear them. The hospital room brought me bad memories of yesterday about how hope of a new life died. But I had no other choice but to sit on a chair and look how Matthew approaches me with a can of peroxide..

    "I'm not even gonna ask you why you did this." he said.

    "It's not like I had a- AAAHH!' I gasped. Peroxide was already oured in my wounds. It burned even worse than before, but I had to be a man. Had to endure it.

    "Try to sit still. I know, it's gonna suck. But if you want to end up alive, you should calm down." Matthew replied.

    "I'm... I'm calm. As much as I can be calm right now." I said quietly.

    I sighed. It still stinged. At least it's not too painful. This kind of pain is better because you know that it's for the best. When your hand is multilated by a man full of hatred cruelty, you feel nothig except fear, humilation and your own weakness. And when your wounds are being cleaned, it means that you're gonna be okay soon. You will forget about everything. That mark of abuse on your heart made by red-hot iron will heal. One day it will. I knew that at least I wasn't abused for my friend. I did something good. Even though I deserved nothing bad... I want to get out of here. I want to rest. I want to live.

    "GREGORY!" I heard Devyn and I winced. She was standing in the doorway. "Oh Jesus, oh God..."

    "I'm fine, baby girl." I smiled.

    "You.... you're a motherfucker, Greg! How could you... Why?" she whispered as she approached me. "It's all my fault. I acted like a stupid girl. And now I can see where it led both of us. There's no way I'll ever earn any forgiveness. I tried to keep you safe.... Because you're the last thing I have left.... But I failed." she spoke with a tremor in her voice.

    "Stop. Don't let it tear you apart. I knew what will happen. It would've been much worse if I lived knowing that I let you get hurt like this. I'm alive. And I will be okay.. I promise." I said.

    "IT'S NOT FAIR! All you had been doing was saving me. Helping me. Have I ever helped you back? Have I ever did something good? You're pretending that it will be alright, but I'll open you a secret - it won't. Unless I take a beating too." Devyn kept talking.

    "Hush, Dev." I whispered. She smiled and put her head on my shoulder.

    "It's done. I know that Peter will probably spit on everything I'll say, but you must be careful with your hand and don't be so active." Matthew shrugged. I looked at my bandaged hand. My swathe slowly coloured from white to red.

    "I'll try to." I gave him a tired smile.

    I carefully stood up. I still felt a dull pain in my hand, but it's probably gonna get better. Me and Devyn tried to walk out, but we gasped in fear when a crowd of people bursted from the doorway right to us and almost pushed us on the floor. I saw Emma, Olivia, Rose, Cynthia, Austin, Paul, Stephanie, Hazel, Gina, Anthony, Duke, and finally, Kami. All of them were quite frightened and it promised no good. All of them were running away like a herd of scared horses, so something terrible must've happened. Young Cynthia ran to her dad and embraced him.

    "What the hell, everyone?!" I said.

    "T-the herd! It broke in! Everyone is running!" Hazel said in a shaky voice. Stephanie stroke her.

    "Holy shit." I said.

    "The guards are dead. All of them. Raymond, Ariela, Logan, Robert. I haven't seen only Ophelia dying. And Peter... he got what he deserved." Gina spoke.

    "What a pleasure it was to see him being devoured. Too bad I didn't get a close look." chuckled Olivia. Rose humped her with her elbow and Olivia rolled her eyes.

    "We have to get the guns. Now." stated Paul.

    "What? Are you nuts? We're gonna get ourselves killed!" protested Matthew.

    "D-dude, I shot a gun like 3 times in my life. It's a suicide mission." added Zaphaeus.

    "We have to reach the parking lot! If we pick a car, we will get an opportunity to escape!" tried to say Kami.

    "Why can't you just fucking calm down?!" I pleaded.

    "GET OVER HERE, INGRATES!" yelled Ophelia, interrupting us. She just bashed in the door and I saw rotten bodies walking outside.

    Well, shit.

    We ran outside and almost hit a few creepers. Our argument must've earned their attention, because they were headed towards us. We had no other way but to keep running to another rooms. The camp was big and if we will orientate fast, we might get to the cars fast. But the creepers were much bigger problem than we thought. We were like weak, cornered dogs with turned tails. I heard a noise of falling and a corner of my eye noticed that Duke stopped. Ophelia was pushed down by the monsters and nearly killed.

    "NO, OPHELIA!" Duke yelled.

    I tried to stop him, but it didn't work. He just ran there, pushing off creatures that already plunge their teeth into the neck of his beloved woman that fooled and manipulated him, but still deserved to get saved in his eyes. It was clear and obvious self-murder. Duke just lost his head, in both literal and figurative sense.

    "Escape, you idiot!" yelled Anthony. Whis was probably not the smartest decision, considering that the next he yelled was a mix of illegible sounds of pain. Pretty obvious what happened to him.

    "Honey!" Gina cried in sadness, but Emma grabbed her hand and forced the woman to keep moving.

    I almost passed the lonely unnoticeable door, until someone's hand grabbed me and forcefully dragged me in. I wanted to scream to my friends so they can help me, but doing it in the middle of the herd is not a good idea at all. I turned to a stranger and prepared to fight back until I realized how familiar his face looks. Surgical mack, creepy stare.... It was that-creepy-motherfucker Matthew.

    "I'm not even gonna ask you what are you doing here." I said with a shock. "You were dead! I saw how you dragged wounded Travis and both of you got lost in the crowd of creepers!"

    "I don't die so easily, darling." he grinned. I finally noticed that he was all covered in the entrails of the walking dead. Yikes!

    "What is that on you?" I asked.

    "My key to heaven. The way I survived. These things are blind. But they can smell pretty good. If you cover yourself in all this, they will think you're one of them. We could try to use to get put of here."

    "Holy moly! Matthew?" I heard Kami's question. I turned around and saw that everyone figured out where I was and walked into the room. Paul and Stephaine tried to close the door.

    "Who is it?" asked Olivia.

    "Someone awesome I used to know." I smiled.

    "Alright, there's no time for speaking we gotta figure a way out if we want to live." Matthew said.

    "Right now we're in the room where all the medicine is. I'm prett sure that it leads outside!" said Cynthia. She ran to another door and tried to open it. "It's locked."

    "Leave it to me. Just keep them away!" Matthew said.

    But it was too late. The door that barely held started to creek very loud and it was clear that it's not gonna stand for long. Matthew tried to pick teh lock and we just had to wait, because none of was had weapons. The door let out one last crackled and completely fell. A bunch of creepers already came in. They were slow, but each second they came closer and closer.

    "If you're not gonna be faster we'll all die, for fuck's sake!" yelled Emma.

    "Just a few more seconds! Try to find a way to temporize." he replied back.

    "I will." suddenly said Devyn and walked right towards the monsters. I quickly grabbed her hand as I realized what is she doing.

    "What the hell, Devyn?!" I asked.

    "It's my time to shine. My time to do something useful. To redeem myself. I need to do it. You will escape without me. But that's all I'm asking for... Please. Let me do it... Let me fullfill my destiny... I'm gonna pay my debt for you.... And make all of you proud..." she whispered.

    "Shut up, Devyn! I'm not gonna let this happen!" I yelled.

    "NO, YOU SHUT UP! I am nothing but a disappointment.... I wan to do something right.... To show you how deeply I care for you, you idiot! Just do as I ask... this one last time.... Help me. Help me make my brother proud." she spoke. I saw tears flowing down her cheeks. I heavily breathed and a sharp pain in my heart almost made me burst in tears too.

    The monsters were closer than anything else. Matthew almost finished, but I knew that he needs just one moment. There are only two ways. Now or never. You or your dearest friend.

    Are you afraid of death, Gregory?

    [Sacrifice your life] or [Let Devyn do it]

  • [Let Devyn do it.]

    I'm such an asshole, but it took me like 10 minutes to think about this. :'(

    Episode 5 - Divided We Fall [Part 5/6] (?) You chose to take the blame. "I-it was me..." I said unsurely. But then I restored my coura

  • edited September 2014

    [Sacrifice your life.] Taking one for a team.

    Episode 5 - Divided We Fall [Part 5/6] (?) You chose to take the blame. "I-it was me..." I said unsurely. But then I restored my coura

  • This is a goddamn hard one.

    [Sacrifice your life]

    Episode 5 - Divided We Fall [Part 5/6] (?) You chose to take the blame. "I-it was me..." I said unsurely. But then I restored my coura

  • [Let Devyn do it]

    Episode 5 - Divided We Fall [Part 5/6] (?) You chose to take the blame. "I-it was me..." I said unsurely. But then I restored my coura

  • LET ME HAVE THIS! ;_; (Clementine voice) O-Okay Greg. I can do it. I can.

    [Let Devyn do it]

    Episode 5 - Divided We Fall [Part 5/6] (?) You chose to take the blame. "I-it was me..." I said unsurely. But then I restored my coura

  • Oh damn. That's probably the hardest decision of this Season, but Devyn is not only Gregs dearest friend, but also the last person from his old group and she stayed with him during the whole mess. He already showed displays of serious survivor guilt and I'm afraid that loosing her could be the final straw for him. Maybe sometimes it's better to die like a hero than to live on with guilt and remorse.

    [Sacrifice your life]

    Episode 5 - Divided We Fall [Part 5/6] (?) You chose to take the blame. "I-it was me..." I said unsurely. But then I restored my coura

  • Choice may result in Greg's suicide or sacrifice...holy shit

    [Sacrifice your life]

  • [Let Devyn do it]

    Episode 5 - Divided We Fall [Part 5/6] (?) You chose to take the blame. "I-it was me..." I said unsurely. But then I restored my coura

  • Gustav_KennyGustav_Kenny Banned
    edited September 2014

    [Let Devyn do it]

    Sips' sacrifice would be a waste if good ol' Greg died.

    Episode 5 - Divided We Fall [Part 5/6] (?) You chose to take the blame. "I-it was me..." I said unsurely. But then I restored my coura

  • 4 people vote for sacrificing and 4 people vote for letting Devyn do it. I need only one more vote.

    Whoever you are, your vote will determine Gregory's fate. Choose wisely.

  • I voted, so it's 5-4 now.

    4 people vote for sacrificing and 4 people vote for letting Devyn do it. I need only one more vote. Whoever you are, your vote will determine Gregory's fate. Choose wisely.

  • DAMN IT GUSTAV!

    I voted, so it's 5-4 now.

  • NEVERMIND, YOU CHANGED YOUR VOTE

    I voted, so it's 5-4 now.

  • edited September 2014

    The voting is closed! Gregory will sacrifice his life. Mah boi, this is gonna be a very dramatic chapter.

    Oh, you know what time is it? Advertising time!

    Quite a lot of people start interactive fanfics and some of them are really talented, like @crawfish. But sadly, not many people pay attention to fanfics nowadays, because they moved to the Forum Games a long time ago. It means that people might miss something awesome like Road Of Bones! I ask all of you to go and check out this great story and submit a character so it can grow!

    Thank you for your attention.

  • TOO LATE

    [Let Devyn do it] Sips' sacrifice would be a waste if good ol' Greg died.

  • Alright. xD

    Sorrt Devyn, I failed you. ;_;

    TOO LATE

  • edited September 2014

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJMt_j4-0I4&t=0m47s

    HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEE

    The voting is closed! Gregory will sacrifice his life. Mah boi, this is gonna be a very dramatic chapter. Oh, you know what time is it? A

  • This. It has only few parts out and I can already tell that it's one of my favourite fanfics. :-)

    The voting is closed! Gregory will sacrifice his life. Mah boi, this is gonna be a very dramatic chapter. Oh, you know what time is it? A

  • Wow!! Thank you very much. This was completely unexpected. Thank you!

    The voting is closed! Gregory will sacrifice his life. Mah boi, this is gonna be a very dramatic chapter. Oh, you know what time is it? A

  • Wow. That was an emotional journey. I can't vote now, but hey.

    At least, after fixing my computer now, I can read it all.

  • Episode 5 - Divided We Fall [Part 6/6]

    (?) You chose to sacrifice your life.

    "SHUT UP, DEVYN!" I yelled in despair.

    In a second, I pushed her back where she almost hit little Cynthia. At the same time I pushed off from the ground and jumped forward, right to the coming crowd. I shoved one of the creepers away with a scream. My move worked - he noticed me and now his teeth were in millimetres away from my face. I waved my hands and slapped all monsters I coud reach. I didn't know what I was doing. I couldn't realize that I'm gonna die right now. It was such a weird, obscure feeling. I wanted to scream it out loud but nothing than a loud cry could come out of my mouth. My group argued about something, screamed and hurried. But I couldn't hear anything. The sound just disappeared. It felt like I got rid of all five senses.

    People often ask themselves about how it is - dying. But you will never be able to express it with words. You just realize it and it stings like fast slap in the face.

    A sharp, paralyzing pain filled my hand. I screamed on purpose before and right now I tried to remain silent but I couldn't. I looked down in horror and saw my hand that was missing a huge piece of meat in it. I couldn't believe it. It's not my hand, it's not my hand! I've seen so many people getting eaten alive and I never thought that I would go through this. I denied it. But it was true. And the scariest part of it was that I chose to go through it.... Another creeper plunged his teeth into my body. It hurted for a moment. Awfully hurted. But then I only felt debility. Everything in front of me blurred and I felt how my legs could barely left my dying body.

    "THE DOOR IS OPENED! GO!" Matthew yelled to everyone.

    "NO, GREGORY!" screamed Devyn.

    I did it. I did it for them.

    A large rotten body of a creeper pushed me and I finally lost control over my body. I fell right on the floor. I grasped that I couldn't move anymore. Not even tremble. I heard munching noises and I knew that it was my body that was shamefully multilated by these creatures. But does it even matter now? I was such a fool. I was afraid. And now I'm not. These are my hands, bloody and devoured. It was all for me. It was all for them. There's nothing to regret.

    When I lied on the floor, I could only see feet of wandering creepers and shadows of my friends in front of me. After the door was opened, the bright light dazzled me. I only caught the vague silhouettes of people running away before everything was overwhelmed by red blood flowing down my head.

    So... close... to freedom....

    THE END OF SEASON 2

    [YOUR CHOICES]

    Humility - You chose to not interrupt the discussion.

    Monogamy - You pushed away Kami.

    Hope - You agreed with Hazel that things will get better.

    Fidelity - You took the blame for Devyn.

    Heroism - You sacrificed your life.

    [THE CREDITS SONG]

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5K9uIlWySQ

  • Wow, this was a heartbreaker. This has been one of my favorite fan-fics. Congratulations creating an amazing story that keeps everyone on their toes. I would rate it an 9/10, just...wow.

    Episode 5 - Divided We Fall [Part 6/6] (?) You chose to sacrifice your life. "SHUT UP, DEVYN!" I yelled in despair. In a second, I

  • Holy fucking shit ass.

    My HEART

    Episode 5 - Divided We Fall [Part 6/6] (?) You chose to sacrifice your life. "SHUT UP, DEVYN!" I yelled in despair. In a second, I

  • SCENE AFTER THE CREDITS

    Devyn ran. She ran, ran and ran. It's not like she had any other things to do. They had to get to the car and leave this nightmare behind. When she lived these happy six months at Willowdale, she didn't even think that one day she'll just loose everything. Force her best friend to die. Shit always hits the fan. Good times get replaced by bad times. It's an unending cycle. But people forget about that. And she forgot about that too.

    "A car! I see a car!" said Stephanie.

    "It's good, but where the hell is everyone else?!" asked Paul.

    Devyn just realized one thing - their group became smaller. Much smaller. There was no time to count but she would definitely say that the Andrews family, Austin, Emma and pretty much the rest of the Bradley Palmer party was missing. Dev got more than just confused.

    "There's now way they could all die at once. We probably got separated from them!" she said.

    "We have to stop talking and move, for god's sake! My husband... my husband didn't move and ain't gonna let anyone- AAAHHHRG!" Gina yelled. Ironically, she let it happen to herself. Visions of Gina's devoured body reminded Devyn of what she saw back there, when Gregory went on a suicide mission leaving her with a massive guilt... No. No. Stop. Let it go. At least try to do it. You're strong. You can do anything...

    "Get over here!" said Matthew. Dev felt how he grabbed her hand and dragged her to a car.

    In a few seconds she was thrown in it with Stephanie and Hazel. Matthew quickly took the driver's place and Paul landed on a seat next to him. Endless row of disgusting, rotten creatures that do nothing but eating in their life bashed on the car's windows. A big crack already appeared on the most of the windows. Stephanie hugged Hazel.

    After a moment, Matthew finally started the car and stepped on gas. With a loud roar car fastly moved from its place right forward. Bodies of creepers were pushed away by the car and hit the others. Soon they reached the end of the herd and drove straight onto the road, leaving everything behind.

    What was done has been done...


    "I CAN'T SEE THEM!" weeped Austin. Emma looked around with fear.

    "Shit, we're lost!" said Olivia.

    "Stay next to me, honey!" said Matthew Andrews to his daughter.

    Emma realized that they were pretty much left with no hope. Only creepers surrounded them and the distance looked even further away than it was before because the horisont was covered by eternal visions of death, that could be felt just by looking at disgusting mouths of creepers. They had to think - think very fast - and find a goddamn way. Their lives were at stake and everyone knew it. But no one from them had any thougts other than just run and try to be lucky.

    "Zaphaeus, help us clean the way!" said Matthew and gave him his gun. He grabbed his daughter's hand and ran throught the crowd, pushing everything away.

    "Are you serious?! I can't do it! I shot a gun like, 3 times in my life, man!" Zaphaeus begged. Right after this, a creeper got him right in the side. The pistol fell down. Emma closed her eyes just to not see his guts sticking out of what remains from his side.

    "We just lost the only gun we had," said Olivia.

    "And it doesn't matter that we lost Zaphaeus?!" Emma got angry.

    "On the right! To the forest!" said Cynthia.

    Emma looked up and saw a path that could lead them to the forest. It was a saving grace, teh only thing they could hold on to. Her legs were tired, but she didn't even pay attention to it. When you need to save your life, you don't even care about anything anymore. And Emma prefectly knew this. A lot of vague figures were passing by and she never focused on them because it was the most irrelevant thing for her now.

    But she made it out alive. Almost everyone else made it out alive.

    And she knew it.

  • Awesome sauce! Holy crap, they were at trouble. Greeeeeg...

    I have a question, can you remind me Sven's fate? Is he dead or alive?

    SCENE AFTER THE CREDITS Devyn ran. She ran, ran and ran. It's not like she had any other things to do. They had to get to the car and lea

  • What a long strange trip it's been...

    That was an awesome finale! The only thing that bummed me quite a bit were the offscreen deaths of both, Peter (arguably THE villain of the fic) and Logan (who got the most confirmed kills, including Samson and my guy Ivan)

    Right now I'm on a phone, but expect a detailed review in a few hours :)

    SCENE AFTER THE CREDITS Devyn ran. She ran, ran and ran. It's not like she had any other things to do. They had to get to the car and lea

  • I'm afraid he was shot by Logan at the end of Chapter 4, if I remember correctly.

    Crips posted: »

    Awesome sauce! Holy crap, they were at trouble. Greeeeeg... I have a question, can you remind me Sven's fate? Is he dead or alive?

  • edited September 2014

    As it was promised, here comes a lengthy review of this Season.

    While the first thing that came into my mind was simply „11/10, would read again“ I don't think that would do justice to this fic and that's why I'll try my best to find the right words.

    Let me start with the positive points:

    • You definitely improved your writing from Season 1 and all the positive points I mentioned in my first review still apply. On top of that, most of my negative points from Season 1 are gone this Season.

    • The story continues to be awesome, moving and thrilling. You managed to create a completely new story without repeating plotlines from the first Season.

    • The villain. Peter was a very entertaining and menacing villain. For me he appeared similar to Negan from the comics, at least before Negan started to become dumb and boring.

    • Special mention goes to Gregs character development. He was a little blank in the first Season, which didn't bothered me at all, but it makes his development in Season 2 even more noticeable.
      For me, sacrificing himself was the awesome and logical conclusion of this development. Valar Morghulis, Mr. Gregory Robert Morgan!

    • Many characters, even secondary ones, got their fair share of the storyline as well. While you still had the problem that there were so many of them, they were, all in all, far more distinguishable than in Season 1, with way fewer Redshirts. My favourite new characters were Peter and the Prisoners (Writing this I just realized that it sounds like a really lame name for a band)

    • The choices continue to amaze me with brutal consequence. For example, the massacre that was the second half of the penultimate episode was the logical conclusion of our actions. But in contrast there were far lighter choices as well, like asking Ivan about his past. This makes the story unpredictable and gave every choice a unique feeling.

    But, like Season 1, this Season wasn't perfect. Good, yes, better than the first Season, yes, but not perfect.

    Well then, prepare for the negative points:

    • The amount of characters is still too damn high. That one is hardly your fault and you tried your best not to introduce a whole cast of new characters in one post. Still, there were so many, it was challenging to keep track of everyone. Like I said in the positive points, you managed to do this quite well with most characters. One possible reason that made the amount of characters so high you actually needed a massacre to decimate them for the finale was the limited area this fanfiction took place in. The community was safe until Peter arrived and deaths were really uncommon until that part of the fanfiction. This is only half of a negative point actually, since it helped with character development.

    • The conclusion of the story, while awesomely epic, had one major flaw (and I really mean a major flaw): Peter, the guy who was responsible for the deaths of half of our characters got an offscreen death. It was implied that it was quite gruesome, but still it was unsatisfying to see him getting an offscreen death. The other character that definitely deserved far worse than he actually got was Logan, the guy who got the most confirmed kills and was the biggest jerk in Peters camp. Him killing Ivan made it personal for me, so I was slightly disappointed to learn he died offscreen with barely any mention. It would have been a cliche to let Greg kill them, but still, it would have been far more satisfying if they would have at least been killed onscreen by anyone. I'm not even convinced that Peter didn't got away somehow.

    At last, let me rate this Season.

    In my first review I gave you a 9/10. In retrospect I'd say that was a little too high for one reason: The second Season wasn't perfect, so I can't give you a 10/10. Giving you a 9/10 again, would do the great improvements of this Season no honor. So, in retrospect I'd like to give you an 8/10 for the first Season and a 9/10 for the second. Since that sounds a bit unfair from my point of view, take 9.5/10 as my final rating

    Finally, let me say that I really enjoyed every word of this fanfiction. You are a tremendously talented writer and I'd like to advice you to keep up with the writing and improve it even more. There is definitely some money to be made if you manage to write a whole book like this.

    If you ever decide to write something on this forum again, count me in as an avid reader and voter. You really inspired me in my hopes to write a fanfiction on this forum myself one day, especially since you showed me that not being a native speaker does not need to be an obstacle to write a lyrically amazing story in fluent english.

    And since it is so beautiful, take another GoT-gif that perfectly captures the essence of this Fanfiction to conclude my review:

    Alt text

  • In my first review I gave you a 9/10. In retrospect I'd say that was a little too high for one reason: The second Season wasn't perfect, so I can't give you a 10/10. Giving you a 9/10 again, would do the great improvements of this Season no honor. So, in retrospect I'd like to give you an 8/10 for the first Season and a 9/10 for the second. Since that sounds a bit unfair from my point of view, take 9.5/10 as my final rating

    Wow, seriously? I'd never rate it this high! I think that Season 1 deservers 7/10 and Season 2 can get 8,5/10. But still thank you!

    Finally, let me say that I really enjoyed every word of this fanfiction. You are a tremendously talented writer and I'd like to advice you to keep up with the writing and improve it even more. There is definitely some money to be made if you manage to write a whole book like this.

    Writing a book sounds awesome, but I'm not a real writer. It's just a very pleasant hobby for me. But your words will definetly inspire me to do more.

    If you ever decide to write something on this forum again, count me in as an avid reader and voter. You really inspired me in my hopes to write a fanfiction on this forum myself one day, especially since you showed me that not being a native speaker does not need to be an obstacle to write a lyrically amazing story in fluent english.

    I'm glad that my fanfiction has sucn an influence on people. @Crips actually got inspired by me and I really hope that you will get enough courage to write here because you look like a guy that would definetly write a good story. As a non-native speaker I can say that this story is probably one of the best things that happened in my life and it helped me improve my English a lot which is great. I hope you're excited for the DLC! It will focus on development of people from Peter's camp.

    Btw, I actually want to do a text-based adventure game in the future. I already have some characters in mind and the protagonist as well, but because of the school the game won't come sooner than winter holidays or even summer holidays. I'm glad that I have people like you that interested in junk I write so I hope you might as well check it out!

    And I finally thank you for such a nice review. You really made my day.

    As it was promised, here comes a lengthy review of this Season. While the first thing that came into my mind was simply „11/10, would rea

  • Now that the finale is here I'm gonna read it all the way through again. Really great story InKennyWeTrust glad that I was able to stumble upon it while searching the forums for something to read. You inspired me to write my fan-fic and I thank you for that! Good luck with your text-based game and with everything else you have going on in your life!

  • I did? ~^.^~

    In my first review I gave you a 9/10. In retrospect I'd say that was a little too high for one reason: The second Season wasn't perfect, so

  • I loved your story so much and the writing was so amazingly good. Definitley this has to be my #1 fanfic.

  • THE STATUS LIST OF SEASON 2 (will be updated after the DLC)

    Alive: Devyn, Paul Sykes, Stephanie Kowalski, Matthew, Hazel Celestine Caverly, Emma, Austin, Matthew Andrews, Cynthia Andrews, Olivia, Rose

    Dead: Steve, John, Ante, Samson, Duke Daniels, Travis, Mike, Justin, Besim Ismaili, Ivan Dolzhaev, Sven, Kami, Gina, Anthony, Ophelia, Jacob, Peter, Robert, Logan, Eren, Raymond, Ariela, Clara, Zaphaeus, Tess and Gregory (R.I.P. my darlings)

    Unknown: -

    P.S. Sorry, this week is gonna be very busy for me. DLC will start on Friday.

  • looks at @Crips and @InKennyWeTrust

    Guess who got me to start? :P

    Crips posted: »

    I did? ~^.^~

Sign in to comment in this discussion.