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Corrupted Wish

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  • StrongBrush1StrongBrush1
    edited June 2011
    Sarendor wrote: »
    I wish clocks and watches would works perfectly without batteries.

    Granted. Everything now works without batteries, including Evil Professor Experimento's death ray. He activates it and everybody dies. Nice job dooming us all, hero.

    I wish I could have a nice cat-girl friend.
  • divisiontendivisionten
    edited June 2011
    StrongBrush1 wrote: »
    I wish I could have a nice cat-girl friend.

    Okay, but she's a Cornish Rex catgirl.

    I wish I had my own Wheatley, with his personality at the END of Portal 2. I mean, after the credits are over- Wheatley.
  • DrRocketGeniusDrRocketGenius
    edited June 2011
    divisionten wrote: »
    Okay, but she's a Cornish Rex catgirl.

    I wish I had my own Wheatley, with his personality at the END of Portal 2. I mean, after the credits are over- Wheatley.

    Granted, Wheatley is now yours, but
    he's still in space.

    I wish my body was as ready as Reggie Fils-Aime's body.
  • Chyron8472Chyron8472
    edited July 2011
    Granted, you are now ready to use a Wii Balance Board. Why you would want to is still anyone's guess.

    I wish I had perfect 20/20 vision so I wouldn't need to wear glasses.
  • StrongBrush1StrongBrush1
    edited July 2011
    Chyron8472 wrote: »
    I wish I had perfect 20/20 vision so I wouldn't need to wear glasses.

    Granted, You can now see perfectly. You can now see FOREVER.

    220px-Cthulhu_and_R%27lyeh.jpg

    I wish my laptop computer worked.
  • Person #23Person #23
    edited July 2011
    Pfoosh! Your laptop works, but not as a laptop. It is now completely impossible to turn on, so it is perfect for a paperweight.

    I wish I could be an evil genius with a subterranean laboratory and a pet cat to stroke as I come with evil plans.
  • RetroVortexRetroVortex
    edited July 2011
    Granted, but you become Person #24, and that guy sucks!

    I wish my limmerick wins the RPS competition....
  • KlatuuKlatuu
    edited July 2011
    You wish for a prize-winning limerick
    Which I grant, with my powerful wizard shtick
    Everyone grins
    As the limerick wins
    But you don't. (Could I have played a grimmer trick?)

    I wish the next post
    to be written in the form
    of a haiku. Yeah.
  • Person #23Person #23
    edited July 2011
    I'm not good at these,
    So one, two, three, four, five and
    Monosyllable(?)

    I wish I were Shakespeare.
  • SarendorSarendor
    edited July 2011
    Granted. You successfully change your name, and now have to tell everyone that you are not related.
    I wish my school's library had the English versions of the Wheel of Time. Actually, I wish it had English versions of every translated book.
  • StrongBrush1StrongBrush1
    edited July 2011
    Granted. It also now has an English copy of the Necronomicon, which causes Madness when opened.

    I wish I didn't have a headache.
  • DrRocketGeniusDrRocketGenius
    edited July 2011
    Granted, but you no longer have a head either.

    I wish people would wait until at least tomorrow to shoot off fireworks.
  • SarendorSarendor
    edited July 2011
    Granted, but since you caused them to wait, they shoot them at your house.

    I wish I would always remember to unplug my disc-on-key from the computer before going somewhere.
  • Pony BonePony Bone
    edited July 2011
    Granted. But each time you unplug your key, you step outside & forget where you were going in the first place.

    I wish Michael Keaton would've played Batman at least one more time.
  • Person #23Person #23
    edited July 2011
    Granted, but you're not allowed to watch it. There is a new, even more evil villain, so evil that the movie's certificate is 180.

    I wish I had more time.
  • tredlowtredlow
    edited July 2011
    Granted, you have one ten billionth of a second. Have fun.

    I wish the wolf won in Little Red Riding Hood.
  • Martin McFlyMartin McFly
    edited July 2011
    Granted and to celebrate his success, he decides to chase after you.

    I wish I had a Pepsi Free.
  • DrRocketGeniusDrRocketGenius
    edited July 2011
    Granted, but it's free of any actual content- you get a Pepsi Free can.

    I wish the gaming industry would realize FPS games are lame.
  • Chyron8472Chyron8472
    edited July 2011
    Granted. All current FPS games now utilize the LAME MP3 audio codec.

    I wish I had a lot of money.
  • StrongBrush1StrongBrush1
    edited July 2011
    Congratulation, you are going to be given all the world's money in a giant bag. And we're going to deliver it to you by dropping it on your house. Oh, and I forgot to mention it weighs a million tons.

    I wish that I had a rock band.
  • caeskacaeska
    edited July 2011
    You get a rubber band made of stone. And it has an evil enchantment on it; touching it petrifies you, also turning you into stone.

    I wish that my wishes never got misinterpreted.
  • StrongBrush1StrongBrush1
    edited July 2011
    Granted, Miss Interpreted will never bother you again. She, will however, continue to mail bombs to your house.

    I wish that people could spell my name right.
  • Chyron8472Chyron8472
    edited July 2011
    Granted, StongBush. Now people can spell "my name" to the right of themselves.

    I wish to be awesome at any and all video games ever made.
  • tredlowtredlow
    edited July 2011
    Granted. You're so awesome, games instantly give up existing when you play, and therefore they will not work for you.

    I wish Joel Hodgson would do a Rifftrax with Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett.
  • caeskacaeska
    edited August 2011
    Granted, they do a Rifftrax but it ends up being so terrible that nobody wants to buy the film. They go bankrupt and do collective suicide, but not before taking you with them.

    I wish that this thread got revived.
  • supmandude85supmandude85
    edited August 2011
    Granted, but your face feel off and ate your brain.

    I wish for everything ever.
  • caeskacaeska
    edited August 2011
    You get everything and everything that turns against you, including evil wizards, ninja killer-robots, an ill-tempered wookiee, ninja-wizards and every disease know to humans.

    I wish my coffee cup was half-empty instead of half-full.
  • supmandude85supmandude85
    edited August 2011
    Granted, but it's full of acid and you don't realize until after you drink it.

    I wish I was Bill Clinton.
  • VainamoinenVainamoinen Moderator
    edited August 2011
    Granted. Your wife hates the guts out of you and the next heart attack is just around the corner.

    I wish my holidays lasted longer.
  • tbm1986tbm1986
    edited August 2011
    Vainamoinen wrote: »
    Granted. Your wife hates the guts out of you and the next heart attack is just around the corner.

    I wish my holidays lasted longer.

    They do, but only because you always get stranded while on vacation and during stay-cations is when you always go down with something horrid toward the end.

    I wish I worked for Telltale.
  • supmandude85supmandude85
    edited September 2011
    You do, but you get assassinated by Rather Dashing after making Back to the Future: Season 2

    I wish I was immortal.
  • StrongBrush1StrongBrush1
    edited September 2011
    Granted. You're MY Immortal, the worst fan fiction ever made.

    I wish I wasn't so distracted.
  • supmandude85supmandude85
    edited September 2011
    Granted, you are now focused on Jabba the Hutt's balls 24/7.

    I wish I knew what to wish for.
  • StrongBrush1StrongBrush1
    edited September 2011
    The answer is revealed to you... in your signature. (Which doesn't change, by the way.)

    I wish I could meet John Lennon.
  • tbm1986tbm1986
    edited September 2011
    StrongBrush1 wrote: »
    The answer is revealed to you... in your signature. (Which doesn't change, by the way.)

    I wish I could meet John Lennon.

    You do but then you get arrested for graverobbing.

    I wish relevant courses to better my career prospects didn't cost so much. (£745 plus exam fees for an entry-level two-month course in IT support, wtf?)
  • Chyron8472Chyron8472
    edited September 2011
    tbm1986 wrote: »
    You do but then you get arrested for graverobbing.

    I wish relevant courses to better my career prospects didn't cost so much. (£745 plus exam fees for an entry-level two-month course in IT support, wtf?)

    Granted but the classes you're interested in are no longer offered.

    I wish to have my own personal life-size starship Enterprise (any iteration will do) complete with a competent crew assigned to operate it.
  • tbm1986tbm1986
    edited September 2011
    Chyron8472 wrote: »
    Granted but the classes you're interested in are no longer offered.

    I wish to have my own personal life-size starship Enterprise (any iteration will do) complete with a competent crew assigned to operate it.

    Granted but the crew consists of a Klingon-Romulan alliance. They all hate you and are plotting your downfall.

    I wish I was interested in a local girl who didn't keep putting me off due to not being ready for another relationship yet (even though I'll apparently be the first to know when she is).
  • lizbethlizardlizbethlizard
    edited September 2011
    tbm1986 wrote: »
    Granted but the crew consists of a Klingon-Romulan alliance. They all hate you and are plotting your downfall.

    I wish I was interested in a local girl who didn't keep putting me off due to not being ready for another relationship yet (even though I'll apparently be the first to know when she is).

    Granted, but the girl is a vampi- no, a zombie, and you will have to destroy her before she infects other humans. But you're too late, so you hire a team of specialists and fight the zombie-army in an epic battle!


    I wish I were a half-human-half-reptile super-villain!
  • StrongBrush1StrongBrush1
    edited September 2011
    Granted, but a teenager with spider powers beats you up and sends you to jail. MULTIPLE TIMES.

    I wish I didn't have to worry about my dignity.
  • tbm1986tbm1986
    edited September 2011
    StrongBrush1 wrote: »
    Granted, but a teenager with spider powers beats you up and sends you to jail. MULTIPLE TIMES.

    I wish I didn't have to worry about my dignity.

    You don't, but that's because you end up staying at home all day, so walking around in only your boxers doesn't really matter.

    I wish I knew where my Strong Bad DVD was (and get it back, if my friend still has it).
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