Silicon County: An Interactive Story (Ongoing)

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Comments

  • Can i reply too?

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    This is entirely a hypothetical question because I am genuinely curious: Is someone who did a terrible thing and feels remorse for it worse

  • Of course.

    Lord_EAA posted: »

    Can i reply too?

  • edited December 2015
    1. Well to me specifics matter. In the case of Alex's death i would say remorseless is much worse.

    2. To be honest.........nothing. I wont forgive them till i feel they payed or had honest redemption unless the alternative is death. However i agreed with liquid that if certain conditions are met in-story for first time in my entire interfic/forum story history, and hopefully the last, i will vote Kill against my judgement and forum morality.

    3. Well i like a lot but my favorite would have to be personality alteration. Those among you that know some interfics will remember this as being the power of Lebter Kasys (the only character i submitted three times) that is because i really love changing a character forcively into something else that they use to dislike or overall hate and suddenly appreciate and love thier new selves. I also love the absolute power Lebter has and how insanely evil and sometimes crazy he is. But regarless of him the power is awesome.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    Of course.

  • edited December 2015

    This is entirely a hypothetical question because I am genuinely curious: Is someone who did a terrible thing and feels remorse for it worse than someone who did awful things without regret?

    This is a very interesting question and it actually got me to think. I'd say, both are different types of bad on the same level, neither of them generally better or worse than the other. I think many people will see someone who shows remorse as better than someone without, but I don't think this can be generalized. Think about it, what does remorse change? Does it make up for pain that was caused? Does it heal any wounds? Someone who shows remorse is still someone who did something terrible and in most cases, what he did can never be undone. I don't think you can generally say that someone with remorse is better than someone without. It all depends on the degree of the crime he commited. If it could be possible to repair the damage done, someone with remorse is far better than someone without. If it is impossible to repair the damage, then remorse does not change a thing though. In such a case, it simply does not matter if the killer is remorseful or not.

    In case of Silicon, we're talking about a killer and I don't think that remorse changes anything in such a case. A killer is a killer and will always remain nothing but a killer, with no chance of ever becoming anything else. If anything, his remorse would make me hate him even more, because it would prove to me that not even he is happy with his actions, that even in his own twisted little head, his actions have brought nothing good and that with his present day knowledge and feelings, his actions could have been prevented. On top of that, it would show me that the guy who murdered Alex is downright pathetic, on top of all his other irredeemable traits. In turn, someone without remorse is not always worse, from my perspective. Remorseless killers make easier targets for hatred and rage, both of which are emotions that can be soothing under certain conditions. There is a reason why I desire vengeance so much. In case of Alex' killer, I would greatly prefer a remorseless killer, because I could relish hating him even more in such a case. A remorseful killer would make me feel an infuriatingly helpless kind of anger, much worse than the soothing rage I feel when confronted with a remorseless killer.

    Second, for this question, let's suggest the killer was in control: What would it take for you to forgive the killer?

    Forgive the killer? Me? Wow! Let me think... If the killer begs for death, I would consider forgiving him by granting him his wish, if I feel that he suffered enough. Seriously though, I don't think I ever could forgive the killer, mostly because I feel personally involved in this case. You know how hard it was for me to forgive Jerry in Monument. Now imagine how much harder this situation is for me. To give you an idea how much I hate the killer: If he would feel genuinely sorry for murdering Alex, if it turns out that he only wanted to wound him instead of killing him and if he would willingly sacrifice his own live to save Rachel, Clive and hell, the whole world out of the desire to genuinely atone for what he did and if his death rids the world of diseases like aids, cancer and ISIS, I would still not forgive him in the slightest and it would still not change my view of him. I would still see him as a completely irredeemable and inhuman monster and even after his death, I would still love to feed his corpse to a bunch of stray dogs instead of burying him in a proper grave. To answer your question, there is nothing he could do that could ever make me even consider forgiving him in the slightest. It is impossible for him to atone for what he did and he can never be redeemed.

    Wait, I just realized, technically, there would be one possibility that would make me spare his life at least and would make me stop hating him. If the killer develops time travel powers, travels back in time and stops himself from ever killing Alex, that would actually change the way I see him. I would spare his life, I would let go of any further vengeful feelings against him and would refrain from taking further action and I would even see him as a human being again. I would still not fully forgive him, but I guess that would be the closest he could ever come to earning forgiveness in my eyes. However, as you see, in order to do that he would basically have to remove the source of my hatred and it would still be just enough for me to simply stop hating him. True forgiveness is very likely impossible in this case.

    And third, entirely unrelated: What is your favorite superpower?

    Now that's the real question. I could talk about that the whole day. To keep it short, if it comes to something as awesome as super powers, it is hard for me to choose. Personally, I always loved teleportation powers, as seen with X-Men's Nightcrawler and think of it as the most visually awesome super power, but technically, there are other superpowers whom I would see as more desirable. The aforementioned Time Travel for example, to set bad things right again, to undo past mistakes. Healing any kind of wound and illness is another super power I see as absolutely awesome to have. In a world where I would be the only one with superpowers, I would probably prefer to have either Time Travel or healing powers, so that I could actually use my powers to do a lot of good and to allow a lot of people to benefit from my powers. Should there be other people with powers, I would probably settle for Teleportation, because it's my personal favourite, but should I be the only one with powers, my priorities would change.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    This is entirely a hypothetical question because I am genuinely curious: Is someone who did a terrible thing and feels remorse for it worse

  • edited December 2015

    Liquid i think we should accept something thats been bugging me. Look at almost every comment Nohope has made about the killer. Almost all of them talk about forgiving them, giving them a chance, considering the posible value in sparing them...etc.

    My point is that Nohope probably doesn't want you to kill the killer. Is it because its a bad choice with horrible concequences? Is it a good choice with great but boring ones? I have no idea. But i can't keep Ignoring this fact.

  • edited December 2015

    Liquid i think we should accept something thats been bugging me. Look at almost every comment Nohope has made about the killer. Almost all of them talk about forgiving them, giving them a chance, considering the posible value in sparing them...etc.

    Yes, I have seen this too. However, I know that Hope likes to lay false trails and also that he likes to ask thought-provoking questions. As long as there are no obvious and enormous benefits that come from sparing the killer, I am convinced that Hope simply asked some of these questions out of genuine interest instead of hinting at which choice leads to a good outcome in the story. And trust me, no matter what, as long as the killer still lives without excruciating pain, no outcome to the story can be good in any way. I also honestly can't stand the thought of the killer not suffering beyond imagination for what he did. No matter the benefits, there is no way I will ever forgive or spare him and even though I doubt that there is ever going to be a majority of voters willing to pick the good option and punish this monster as severe as possible, I hope things will end horrible for him.The killer does not deserve forgiveness, he does not deserve a chance and there is no possible value in sparing him, because he has no value, period. Alex had no chance either, so why should the monster that killed him get one?

    My point is that Nohope probably doesn't want you to kill the killer. Is it because its a bad choice with horrible concequences? Is it a good choice with great but boring ones? I have no idea. But i can't keep Ignoring this fact.

    Well, the thing is, if Hope really does not want me to kill the killer, we have a common interest, because under certain conditions, I don't want to kill him either. But naturally, just because I don't want to kill him does not mean I want to spare him. I want something far worse for him than death. In fact, his death would be the least satisfying end for him that would still manage to be somehow satisfying. I'd rather see him suffering in constant agony for all eternity, if that is a choice. I don't know if it will be a bad choice to make him suffer, but I know it will be a very bad choice not to do it. Trust me, it is not a good choice with great consequences to spare that subhuman piece of shit, because his mere presence is a waste of space. I mean, what good could possibly come out of sparing him? Things are frustrating enough as they are and if this stinking rat continues to live a happy, pain-free live, things are guaranteed to become even more frustrating.

    Lord_EAA posted: »

    Liquid i think we should accept something thats been bugging me. Look at almost every comment Nohope has made about the killer. Almost all o

  • I feel like that's just the sort of person Nohope is (I think?) I thought he was just expressing his own morals and ideals. I for example had quite the debate with Liquid regarding the killer a while ago. I don't want the killer killed simply because I think it's wrong, makes us no better etc. I wasn't really worried about consequences, I was just expressing what I thought was the right thing.

    Lord_EAA posted: »

    Liquid i think we should accept something thats been bugging me. Look at almost every comment Nohope has made about the killer. Almost all o

  • edited December 2015

    Its my personal thought too, but like i said Liquid REALLY wants this. So if certain conditions are met then i will sadly vote Kill for the first time in my entire interfic history. But i think (and hope) your vote will win anyway.

    AgentZ46 posted: »

    I feel like that's just the sort of person Nohope is (I think?) I thought he was just expressing his own morals and ideals. I for example ha

  • You see this is the type of comment that makes me happy that i made Lana a good person who would'nt do something like that to Alex.

    Wait a second i just thought of something. How would you have felt if instead of Alex it had been Clive? And what if it had been Rachel?

    Liquid i think we should accept something thats been bugging me. Look at almost every comment Nohope has made about the killer. Almost all o

  • No offense intended against Liquid, but I feel like you should choose based on your own thoughts and morals. Not based on what another forum member wants (as cool as that forum member might be :p) it is of course your decision though.

    Lord_EAA posted: »

    Its my personal thought too, but like i said Liquid REALLY wants this. So if certain conditions are met then i will sadly vote Kill for the first time in my entire interfic history. But i think (and hope) your vote will win anyway.

  • edited December 2015

    Its my way of thanking him for being a cool guy and supporting me on things like my story (Multiverse Prime) and just being awesome. But like i said i have conditions for it , such as i wont if it ruins the chosers life by doing it or makes them evil or if the killer feel remorse for what they did. So its still my choice im just saying i plan to support his vote like has mine in the past. With luck i don't think it will win though.

    Hey, by the way who is your character? Has he/she shown up yet?

    AgentZ46 posted: »

    No offense intended against Liquid, but I feel like you should choose based on your own thoughts and morals. Not based on what another forum member wants (as cool as that forum member might be ) it is of course your decision though.

  • One of them had a small appearance. Tyler Gavins. I created the whole Gavins family.

    Lord_EAA posted: »

    Its my way of thanking him for being a cool guy and supporting me on things like my story (Multiverse Prime) and just being awesome. But lik

  • When? Sorry i can't recall

    AgentZ46 posted: »

    One of them had a small appearance. Tyler Gavins. I created the whole Gavins family.

  • In chapter three, right before Samantha starts envisioning Kayla's car crash, panics and tries to run away.

    Lord_EAA posted: »

    When? Sorry i can't recall

  • edited December 2015

    You see this is the type of comment that makes me happy that i made Lana a good person who would'nt do something like that to Alex.

    And I am happy about this too. I like Lana and it would have made things considerably more conflicting for me to go against her, especially considering that I wouldn't want to kill your character. Then again, as you said, I think the rest will vote to spare him either way, for some unexplainable reason. I can only hope that there will somehow be a majority for the good option, but I think I have to accept that this is all going to end in utter frustration for me.

    How would you have felt if instead of Alex it had been Clive? And what if it had been Rachel?

    When submitting my characters, I usually have a favourite and a non-favourite, who is more like a supporting character for my favourite. Rachel is by far my favourite, while Clive is rather obviously the non-favourite. In case of Silicon, I submitted Alex as a third character, someone I feel neutral about, although I seriously regret that I did it, considering how it turned out. Considering that he is the non-favourite, if it would have been Clive who would have been killed, there would have been a very tiny chance that I would have been open for any sort of argument in favour of giving this murderous piece of shit a chance. Most likely though, nothing would have changed. If anything, I would be slightly less hellbent for vengeance, which probably wouldn't have been noticeable at all. Rachel on the other hand... I don't know. Do you mind if I don't think about that too much? There is nothing worse than the worst possible fate for the killer anyway. Completely unrelated, by the way... The killer has probably a family, right? And friends? People who care for him and more importantly, whom he cares for. Not that I want to imply anything with this...

    Lord_EAA posted: »

    You see this is the type of comment that makes me happy that i made Lana a good person who would'nt do something like that to Alex. Wait

  • edited December 2015

    I personally would rather the killer be imprisoned or simply put down if they were that much of a threat. In terms of morals, killing is wrong and making people suffer is cruel. I've never had a reason to seek revenge in real life (come to think of it, not even in a forum story), and I hope I never will.

    Make no mistake, my personally views aside, no matter how disagreeable, be the method cruel or humane, there will be several ways to dish out vengeance. However, there will certainly be consequences.

    AgentZ46 posted: »

    I feel like that's just the sort of person Nohope is (I think?) I thought he was just expressing his own morals and ideals. I for example ha

  • Nah definately nothing.........So i guess you would like the killer(s) to meet one of my 'darkest' characters >:)

    Btw is that how it works with Nick and Emma?

    You see this is the type of comment that makes me happy that i made Lana a good person who would'nt do something like that to Alex.

  • edited December 2015

    Nah definately nothing.........So i guess you would like the killer(s) to meet one of my 'darkest' characters >:)

    I'd like the killer to meet Rose. I think this should tell you how much I hate him.

    Btw is that how it works with Nick and Emma?

    Maybe. Probably. Although, it is not exactly comparable. The difference between my favourite and my non-favourite is usually not that obvious as it is in Silicon. In Silicon it is far stronger pronounced than usual, because of the fact that I technically submitted three characters at once, one whom I liked a lot from the beginning, one whom I somewhat disliked and one whom I felt neutral about, at least until his death turned me into an honorary member of the Red Lantern Corps. Usually, the one I feel neutral about is the non-favourite, as I don't tend to submit a character whom I dislike. Clive is the exception here. That said, even if I don't like him as much as I like Rachel and liked Alex, I still like Clive as well, actually a lot more than I thought at first. Usually, I only tend to submit two characters whom I like roughly equally, with one being my favourite and the other one, while being the non-favourite, is usually still a character I like. To answer your question, Nick and Emma in your story are both characters whom I like roughly equally, even though I'm sure you can guess who my favourite is :D

    Lord_EAA posted: »

    Nah definately nothing.........So i guess you would like the killer(s) to meet one of my 'darkest' characters Btw is that how it works with Nick and Emma?

  • Could you remind me who it was that Tyler was friends with?

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    In chapter three, right before Samantha starts envisioning Kayla's car crash, panics and tries to run away.

  • edited December 2015

    Yeah that would fill all your punishment requirements and add several new and possibly worse ones. I cannot even begin to think of all the 'fun' Rose could have with him/her, best part being no matter what race, social status or gender Rose would make them dread the day they existed and eventually suck all joy, happyness, freedom, values, dreams, will and ofcourse hope out of their soul and replace broken pieces with something....... better to her liking. I trust you would enjoy that >:).

    As for Emma its good that you like her. With any hope i have plans for her to develop and grow FAR into the series. Infact if certain choices are made she will eventually end up in the life of her dreams with all of her goals, hopes and desires for her existance and the one of those she loves being fufilled compleatly, living a happy life and being forgiven by herself and others for her flaws and mistakes in life. Think of it as meeting a reverse version of Rose personality wise in in everyone she meets watching over her to make sure she is happy.

    And don't worry, if she ever meets a horrible, violent fate. No matter how long it takes months , years, centuries, milleniums. There will eventually be a very 'special' choice determined fate for that person, that.....well lets just say the opposite of Emmas dream ending if not worse. And there are currently only 2 exceptions to that :).

    Nah definately nothing.........So i guess you would like the killer(s) to meet one of my 'darkest' characters I'd like the killer t

  • Anna Francisco.

    AgentZ46 posted: »

    Could you remind me who it was that Tyler was friends with?

  • I can't seem to remember her XD

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    Anna Francisco.

  • She's a minor character in Samantha's parts. Hopefully she and other minor characters will become more rememberable in the coming act.

    AgentZ46 posted: »

    I can't seem to remember her XD

  • I remember Anna, she was Sam's other friend. She always seemed to agree blindly to stupid stuff.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    She's a minor character in Samantha's parts. Hopefully she and other minor characters will become more rememberable in the coming act.

  • Mr Envelope.

    AgentZ46 posted: »

    Mr Envelope? XD

  • Chapter Four: Awakened (Part 5)

    Lana Dawking

    Lana took the envelope and grimaced as she realized the weight of it. She looked at it for a second, frowning, then back at David. “Are absolutely sure?”

    David chuckled while he scratched his stubble. “I still record with the fellas every couple of months in the basement—I’ve got a soundproof bandroom. So the money’s still coming. Truth be told, I’ve more money than I know what to do with.”

    “Well, thank you, David.” She shifted her weight from foot to foot as studied the modest home decor—he didn’t look rich, and she wondered if it might have been a lie to save her some of the embarrassment. She chose to forget about it. Lana bit her bottom lip and let out a sigh. “I’ll gather the evidence against Pittman from my apartment, take him down.”

    “That’s great,” David said. He walked Lana back outside, paused just outside the sliding door and gave a smile. “Call -- visit, maybe, you’re welcomed in the house -- if you need any help at all.”

    Lana smiled the best she could and shoved the envelope into her coat pocket. She walked towards the steps and hesitated for a split second, glancing back at David, then she sighed vapor. “I-- I can’t thank you enough, David. I realize I might be putting you in a awkward position with Alex… with all of this… so please, tell her everything. She’s a wonderful lady. I’m sure she’ll understand.”

    David smiled and nodded. “Of course. I’m sure she’ll be happy to help.”

    Lana stepped down the stairs and pulled her bicycle upright. She looked back, waved to David one last time, then climbed on and pedaled away.


    Lana turned the key in the lock and stepped inside the door, the hallway light’s glow casted a weak amount of light into the apartment that only illuminated several feet. She flipped the switch at the wall and swore under her breath when it wouldn’t turn on. Fortunately, the desk lamp lit up nicely.

    Lana shut the door and then sat at the desk. She produced the envelope from her jacket pocket, let out a long breath then put it into her drawer. As she did this, she pulled out a piece of paper and held it to the light.

    It was a list of addresses originating from various states and cities… a total of twenty-one. The twenty-first address was the Carsons’ house. Lana sent them an envelope without a return address, filled with several twenty dollar bills, a few weeks ago, like she did with the other names on the list.

    Lana bit her bottom lip and returned the paper back into the drawer. She ran her fingers through her hair, let out a long sigh, then walked across the dimly lit apartment to the closest. She threw open the door and pulled out a heavy bubble envelope hidden among the junk. It contained every she had against Wade Pittman. Enough to put him behind bars, she hoped.

    To be continued with a point of view that hasn’t been seen since the prologue…

    Next part might be the last for this chapter, or second to last if it includes a choice. I'm not sure when it will be out, but hopefully soon. Thank you, once again, for your patience!

  • since the prologue...

    Luke?

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    Chapter Four: Awakened (Part 5) Lana Dawking Lana took the envelope and grimaced as she realized the weight of it. She looked at it fo

  • Yes.

    AgentZ46 posted: »

    since the prologue... Luke?

  • edited December 2015

    The twenty-first address was the Carsons’ house. Lana sent them an envelope without a return address, filled with several twenty dollar bills, a few weeks ago, like she did with the other names on the list.

    Maybe I have missed something here, but was it revealed why exactly Lana was sending money to the Carsons? It's not like she has anything to do with Alex' death, right? There's also still the question why she thinks she knows what happened. Honestly, if you wouldn't have refuted it, I would be fully into the Evil Lana theory again. It just makes so much sense XD But seriously, I am curious why she thinks that she knows what happened with Alex. Aside from that, I can only say it again, I like Lana and I am glad that she has no murderous second personality. Between Samantha's shocking death and a chapter finale that will likely give undeserved screentime to the fucker that murdered Alex, she was by far my favourite part in this chapter, because she made me neither sad, nor angry, nor a mixture of both.

    To be continued with a point of view that hasn’t been seen since the prologue…

    Luke fucking Page, the goddamn bastard, the King Joffrey of Silicon... By now, after rereading a few parts and especially your comments, I am utterly convinced that he, and he alone, is responsible for Alex' death. No evil bodyswitching killer, no demonic possession, temporary insanity or whatever else might be an excuse in his favour. Just one fucking evil bastard with a gun and no reason, just as I originally assumed. This leaves me with a conflicting feeling for the next part and I am not sure if I should look forward for it, or if I should dread it. On the one hand, I am anxious to finally get some answers, explanations and most importantly, a target to fully direct my hatred against. If you can't tell it, I'm still holding back with my hatred and odd stuff like the Evil Lana theory is the result of it. On the other hand, if Luke is really the one responsible for Alex' death, the thought of him getting character development and screentime and lines and all the stuff his victim never had genuinely sickens me and this is just as exasperating as the fact that he is most likely never going to get the punishment he truly deserves. For now though, my anxious curiosity is stronger than the utter hatred I have for Luke. I can't wait for the next part, even though I don't want to learn anything about Luke's character. But expect me to go full Geralt of Rivia on that fucking monster in the next chapter.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    Chapter Four: Awakened (Part 5) Lana Dawking Lana took the envelope and grimaced as she realized the weight of it. She looked at it fo

  • I love how the Evil Lana theory is a household name now.

    Also i just realised the your 'dream killer' is like the thrid murderer in Macbeth. Says three lines, never says his name, depending on the version he either wears a mask or doesn't. And his development extends to "i want to kill banquo, Macbeth sent me to do it with you guys." Leaving people for centuries to try to find out who the hell he/she is with insane theories.

    Imagine if thats how Silicon's murderer is. "I killed Alex, because im evil" and he gets killed or jailed without revealing his identity and were left to theorise it for the rest of time.

    The twenty-first address was the Carsons’ house. Lana sent them an envelope without a return address, filled with several twenty dollar bill

  • edited December 2015

    I love how the Evil Lana theory is a household name now.

    It might be the most absurd theory I ever made that still made sense at the same time. It was tinfoil enough to melt steel beams. But even if it was confirmed wrong, I still love it and it is a big reason why I like Lana so much. I can't put into words how glad I am that she is not evil :D

    Also i just realised the your 'dream killer' is like the thrid murderer in Macbeth. Says three lines, never says his name, depending on the version he either wears a mask or doesn't. And his development extends to "i want to kill banquo, Macbeth sent me to do it with you guys." Leaving people for centuries to try to find out who the hell he/she is with insane theories.

    You are right, that is pretty much my "dream killer", yeah. Actually, my dream killer would have even less involvement and screentime. Alex had no lines and the only thing we ever learned about him is that he is selling weed, so it would be true justice if the killer would just drop dead immediately (alternatively and preferrably, after hours of agony) and we never learn anything more about him and his personality aside from the fact that he murdered Alex. This is enough for me to satisfy my hatred and my thirst for revenge. I don't need to learn his sob story or even his identity, because it won't change a thing how I feel about him. If anything, it would make me hate him even more. Though, I would like to learn his name at least. Any effort to develop him beyond that is wasted.

    "I killed Alex, because im evil"

    With this sentence, you pretty much summed up the entire personality of the killer, no matter who he is. The character who murdered Alex has no deeper personality beyond being evil or else he wouldn't have murdered Alex. And regardless of what is going to happen in the story, I am never going to take this statement back.

    Lord_EAA posted: »

    I love how the Evil Lana theory is a household name now. Also i just realised the your 'dream killer' is like the thrid murderer in Macbe

  • No matter how evil a person is, they always have a reason for what they do. I highly doubt Alex was killed 'just because'.

    I love how the Evil Lana theory is a household name now. It might be the most absurd theory I ever made that still made sense at the

  • Well technically that exists. Its called sadism. And there have been serial killers who kill people just because they can, sadly. But i get your point.

    AgentZ46 posted: »

    No matter how evil a person is, they always have a reason for what they do. I highly doubt Alex was killed 'just because'.

  • edited December 2015

    This so-called "person" murdered Alex and as a result of this, he can never be more than a force of pure evil. There is no reason that ever even remotely justifies or explains what he did, so regardless of what kind of lame excuse he brings up, it will all break down to the fact that he is an utterly and irredeemably evil sadist who murdered Alex because he wanted to cause pain and suffering. After all the hatred and pain it caused me, I fail to see how there can ever be another reason for his action. Besides, there have been numerous examples of people who murder other people just because they can. For example, serial killers usually kill their victims just because they can. Sociopaths do stuff because they can, including hurting or killing other people. Sadists do it because they find joy in it. And even if they have reasons beyond being utterly and irredeemably evil, these reasons are almost always extremely poor and inherently evil in nature, just like that so-called "person" that murdered Alex.

    AgentZ46 posted: »

    No matter how evil a person is, they always have a reason for what they do. I highly doubt Alex was killed 'just because'.

  • Admittedly, I haven't been writing this week or the last, but the finale for chapter four is in the works. It's still in an incomplete state, or at least, not in one that I'm willing to present.

    I should also announce that I have two other projects outside of the forum that have been eating up my writing time. Both are in concept and planning stages, but I'm willing to share with you what they all: The first is the novel I expressed interest in writing. It's evolved into a story grounded in the real world, as opposed to the supernatural/superhero thing I originally mentioned, so far it can be summed up as "Young adult seeks closure for a past trauma, discovers it in committing acts of vigilante violence, and starts down a self-destructive path."

    The second isn't a novel, nor a developing forum story, but a game. At least, that's the concept. It's dystopian future once again grounded in the real world, it can't be summed up as quickly, and honestly I'd rather keep the summary to myself for now. It's planned to be a stylized, 2D adventure game, but once again that's just the concept.

    Anyway, I thought I should get that out there since it's been taking up my time for my forum stories. I'm doubtful a lot of people will see this update, it being the holidays. Still, happy holidays! I hope you all have a wonderful time!

  • Merry Chrismas bro. And don't worry we get it :)

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    Admittedly, I haven't been writing this week or the last, but the finale for chapter four is in the works. It's still in an incomplete state

  • Chapter Four: Awakened (Part 6)

    04:09 P.M. - One Month Ago - One Day Before the Prologue

    The fight ended just as quickly as it began. Alexander was pushed away from Luke by Samantha. “Go home and cool off.” She pointed to the house across the street with frustration, and added, “It’s right there.”

    Alexander glared at Luke for a moment, appeared to contemplate rushing him, then instead kicked the gravel in front of him, and muttered, “Fine.” He stormed off.

    “Prick,” Luke hissed under his breath. He felt his busted lip for blood and then tried to stop the bleeding with his sleeve. “I had it handled,” he muttered to Samantha.

    “Oh, yeah?” she questioned, putting her hands on her hips in an expression of disbelief. “What was it even about? You haven’t exactly been best buds, but you’ve never exchanged blows.”

    “It doesn’t matter.” Luke turned around and started walking back toward his own house. He paused, looking at his feet, then over his shoulder at her. “Thanks, Sam.”

    05:30 A.M. - The Next Day

    The view of the graveyard was eerie—a foggy, early morning haze blanketed the field of headstones and faded into the dark treeline that surrounded it. The tall trees waved in the wind, as well as the blades of grass missed by the groundskeeper. The atmosphere there always took Luke’s breath away—the graveyard was tranquil… and, save for the sounds of flora and fauna, silent.

    Luke sat at a bench adjacent to the road that overlooked the graveyard, giving him a full view of it and the morning vista beyond the trees. He heard a vehicle passed by behind him but didn’t let it distract him. However, the sound of a car door opening finally made glance away. A man exited the car, shut the door, and approached, taking a seat at the bench by Luke.

    They sat there in silence for what seemed like a while. Luke wondered if he should leave and let the man be. But the man spoke up with a quiet tone, and asked, “What’s your name?”

    Luke looked at the man, up and down. He was young, appearing in his twenties, and had black hair. “My name is Luke. Why... do you want to know?”

    “No reason.” He put his hand in his coat pocket and seemed to feel to make sure something was there. “Tell me something, Luke, how old are you?”

    “Seventeen,” Luke replied. He was starting to feel uncomfortable but saw no reason to lie.

    Luke opened his mouth to speak, started to form a question of his own, when the man, in a split second, pulled a syringe from his pocket and stabbed Luke in the arm. The man quickly administered the unknown drugs into his bloodstream, and Luke panicked.

    “What the fuck?!” Luke’s eyes widened, he jumped off the bench and backed away. “What the fuck did inject me with?!”

    The man simple rose from the bench and put a small cap over the needle, then returned to his coat with a glum expression. Luke started to run up the road, hoping to escape the psycho and get back into Silicon, where there’d be witnesses to help him. But he felt the effects of the drug take hold -- he was running, which hastened the results -- and began to feel drowsy, then he tripped. He needed to run—but his body wouldn’t listen, his eyes felt heavy, and his limbs weren’t as responsive. Then he collapsed and the morning light faded.

    The man slowly walked over to the fallen, unconscious teenager and grabbed him by the shoulders, then started dragging him back to the car.

    08:12 A.M.

    “Wake up,” the man said, his voice was weak and echoed in the darkness. “Come on, you should’ve woken up half an hour ago… Wake up… You need to be awake for this part.”

    Luke felt his head shake slightly, then his eyes fluttered open to reveal a dimly lit, decaying room. The face of the man who put him to sleep came into focus and he panicked again and pulled weakly against his restraints attached to a chair. “What did-- What did you do to me?”

    The man didn’t answer. He walked to a table and stirred an unknown liquid in a jar. He filled another syringe with the liquid.

    “Help,” Luke called tiredly. “Help!”

    “No one can hear you,” the man assured—his voice sounding… off. He turned back to him and prepared the new syringe. “Now hold still and try not to panic—it’ll make this much less unpleasant.”

    06:29 P.M.

    Luke was pulled back into a conscious state after passing out from the pain of the injections once again. He looked up, dazed, at yet another needle the man intended to stab him with. He writhed slowly, further irritating the sores on his wrists.

    Every cell in his being hurt. His blood felt like acid that rippled throughout his body so that even his own heart worked against him; he had endured hours of constant, chemical torture, if that was even possible, and didn’t know why he was still alive… He would have wished to pass out, but he still felt the pain even when unconscious. No—he wanted to die.

    “This is… the last one,” the man murmured while he turned the syringe in his hand. It glowed a unique shade of orange and seemed to change to yellow or red depending on how the dim light hit it.

    “Please… Please…” Luke hissed between weak breaths. “Just-- Just let me go. I just want to go home. I just wanna go home…”

    The man seemed to think about it for a moment, froze for more than an eternity—tears built up in his eyes during, then he finally shook his head. “N-no.” He approached Luke and he let the needle hover over his skin. He hesitated.

    “Wait!” Luke cried, finding renewed energy to once again fight against the restraints. “Why are you doing this?! Who are you?!”

    “My name is Owen,” the man mumbled.

    He administered half of the final injection, but before he could shoot him up with the rest, an invisible force pushed him away and tossed against the wall; the chair Luke was tied to shattered into splinters and embedded themselves in everything; trash littering the floor, dust sitting around the old room, and anything not nailed down were all suddenly thrown into a whirlwind that circled Luke.

    The debris fell down, and Luke collapsed to his knees milliseconds after. The intense pain was still burned in his mind, that echoed infinitely, but it was just a memory now. Now... he felt numb. But it was over. He could go home.

    He looked at the slumped, unconscious form of the man. Owen. He was leaned against the wall. Luke limped to him and found the syringe sticking into the drywall. He removed, turned it in his hand for a moment and watched it glimmer with different colors. He felt a primitive sense of anger and stabbed Owen with it, then emptied the remaining liquid into the man's upper arm.

    Almost instantly, the flesh around the injection rippled and turned a decayed shade of gray. Boils formed—it looked painful.

    Luke realized the numbness of his extremities was due to the shot. A side effect, maybe. He inspected his own arm and found the same sight, it was painless but disgusting, although it looked more healthy and better-accepted than Owen’s did.

    Luke pushed those notions to the back of his mind and prepared to leave—he had to get home. But the glint of metal caught his eye; tucked into Owen’s belt was a handgun. He grabbed it and limped out of the old house without a second thought.

    08:15 P.M.

    Luke was in a super-agitated state. Running home had become… difficult with the numbness now fading. He could feel the pain of the injection taking hold, but it was still far off. Sweat dripped over his eyes, not from exhaustion, and his heart raced—everything was wrong, everything was a threat to him.

    The handgun was held tightly in his grip, not entirely hidden by his jacket’s sleeve though it wasn’t obvious to a quick glance.

    Luke rounded a bend and ran straight into someone. They both tumbled off the sidewalk, down the hill, and landed into the creek bed. Luke spat out a combination of dirt, sand, mucus and blood as he pushed himself up.

    The other person had fallen closer to the water’s edge -- that was overflowing -- and was climbing to their feet as well. Fists clenched, dirtied by mud, Alexander Carson rose with an angered expression. “You little…” He short with angry. “Sneaking up on me, that’s fucking low—”

    There was no foresight, no thought of consequence. Because of the drugs, the foreign chemicals in his system, all he saw was a threat, and Luke pulled the trigger. The handgun barked and Alexander froze. His expression turned to shock as grabbed his shoulder and tried to back away, then was caught by the overflowing creek, and vanished in the white foam.

    Luke remained in his place for a moment, then blinked. He blinked again and it finally set in. Luke’s face changed from primal fear to worry in an instant and he rushed into the cold overflow to try to find Alexander.

    02:11 A.M.

    Luke woke suddenly and let out a loud gasp for breath, found none, and panicked. He saw heavy debris that had caved in his chest and realized he was in a large pool of his own blood. He painstakingly pushed the tree and the torn pieces of the house a few inch upwards with the invisible force he controlled and fought for a breath. With a sudden, sickening crack, his lungs inflated and he let out a muffled scream as he lost his weak concentration and scrambled away as the debris fell back.

    The numbness was all gone now—he laid on the cracked floor, screaming -- though he barely managed to break through the intense rainstorm -- as bones realigned themselves and every nerve in his body felt a burning sensation.

    He was on fire, his brain told him, even though that wasn't the case. Still, he pushed himself up and ran out the back door. The screen door slammed behind him as he made a run for the creek, blood dripping as he went. He ran towards the overflowing water… two feet...

    Then it all stopped.

    Luke saw his body fall into the creek from the third person. He struggled to feel anything now. The whole sensation was just gone: He could feel pain no more. Added to that, everything had a haze… weather it was the thick rain or the drugs that were changing his very being. It wasn’t just numbness, because, in a way, that was something; he felt absolutely nothing. More things were seeming to fade as well.

    Was this a dream? he wondered. It had to be. And there was something he’d forgotten, but he didn’t remember what it was now. After remaining wherever he was in the haze for however long, he finally felt something: guilt, though he didn’t know why.

    End of Chapter 4

    Okay, to be completely honest, I've been unsure whether to post this part now or later. It's been written and rewritten for a while, and I'm still not quite happy with it, as it's very confusing and raises more questions than it answers, but it's high time to get it over with, to move on. I'll see you again in chapter five, with a (hopefully) less convoluted continuation. Next time, Lana is going to be brought into the "main" plotline, shit will get weird, and the Luke/Carson plot with reach its (hopefully) thrilling conclusion. And remember... revenge will be achievable...

  • edited January 2016

    So... it took me a while to calm down enough to even write this comment/rant-hybrid, because my first emotion after reading this part has been rabid rage, close to my breaking point. I haven't been that angry in a very long time. To be honest, I'm obviously still madly in anger and I will continue to be so until Luke got the painful death he deserves. But well... I see I have been right with some of my theories, which would have been a pleasant surprise under any other circumstance. This time, surrounding the whole fucking mess that is Alex' death, there can be no pleasant surprises, although it is refreshing that I can finally stop holding back in my hatred. It really was Luke, he is exactly the monster I always claimed him to be, he really has no excuse, nothing that speaks in his favour, he really deserves my hatred and to make things even better, or perhaps, even worse, this bastard Owen is responsible as well! Oh, these fuckers... these goddamn fuckers. Needless to say, both of them have to die and I'm going to enjoy their death. Hell, I'm almost at the point where I hate their whole fucking families, just for being related to them. There must be vengeance, on everyone responsible! My dear Alex never even got to live because of Luke and Owen and this demands justice.

    I'm just a bit undecided who deserves more pain before he dies, Luke or Owen. At the moment, I'd say Luke. Now that I think about it, yes, Luke deserves by far the more painful death. Luke murdered Alex in a very gruesome and painful way and he really did it for no reason. There was no bodyswitching presence that forced him to do so and nothing else that excuses what he did. And with that revelation, he lost the last bit of humanity he ever had in my eyes. He is a lot worse than I thought and trust me, I basically already saw him as the lowest piece of shit possible before this part. After this part, I don't even see him as a person anymore. This... thing, whatever it is at the moment, this not-human, it must die, in horrible agony on top. And this part gave me just the idea of what it deserves:

    Every cell in his being hurt. His blood felt like acid that rippled throughout his body so that even his own heart worked against him; he had endured hours of constant, chemical torture, if that was even possible, and didn’t know why he was still alive… He would have wished to pass out, but he still felt the pain even when unconscious. No—he wanted to die.

    These words are too sweet. This is exactly what I wish for Luke, perhaps, if possible, a hundred times worse. Even though he had a hand in Alex's death as well, I have to respect Owen for torturing Luke like he did in this part. So far, I was afraid that there is no way Luke could ever get the physical torture it deserves. However, I have to say, this chemical torture is something I haven't even thought about. Brilliant! Elegant! I could read this part all day! So utterly wonderful and satisfying, at least as long as it happens to this complete monster, Luke fucking Page. Let this be clear, under normal circumstances I'd never approve of torturing a human being. But Luke, as I said earlier, lost its humanity when it murdered my Alex. There is nothing bad in giving a monster the horrible death it deserves. In fact, making it beg for death is the only course of action that I see as morally even remotely justifiable. After what happened, there can be no other way.

    Owen on the other hand... well, he tortured Luke, which, despite the fact that he is also responsible for Alex' death, makes me almost like him. The fact that Alex died because of him as well firmly puts him back in the irredeemable category though. I say, he deserves to die with slightly less pain, emphasis on slightly, because he is slightly less evil than Luke. That said, I naturally still want him dead, I'm just reserving the bulk of my hatred for Luke, the one who really deserves it. Owen is, at best, a minor villain, a completely insignificant mistake, something that should have never even existed. Luke is the main villain in this story. At least, it is my main villain, because no other character in this story could ever cause me as much pain as it did. No matter what revelations Chapter 5 and Act 2 will bring, Luke will remain my main villain, something that has now been proven to have zero redeemable features. Alex wasn't exactly the best person ever, I fully admit it, but compared to Luke, he was a fucking saint. He was worth at least a hundred times as much as Luke and he had a painful, derogatory and infuriating death, so the only justice would be if Luke's death ends up being a hundred times as painful. Thankfully, Owen gave me just the idea how this could be possible. Hail Owen! And fuck him at the same time, he must die as well! Alexander must be avenged. Luke and Owen will pay the price for what they did. And I hope they die soon, because their mere presence in this story is like a cancer that must be removed. And then, I will continue to take my vengeance on the ones behind Owen's actions. I mean, there have to be people who ordered him to kidnap a random monster and torture it, right? I bet these people are the ones I get to kill in Act 2.

    Also, let me just add quickly that this was both, my favourite and my least favourite part in the whole story. My least favourite, because Luke was the PoV. My hatred for Luke is so huge that even reading a part from its PoV makes me sick. It does not deserve any more development, it just deserves to die and to be forgotten. But at the same time, this was one of my favourite parts, not only because of the brilliant writing, but also because now I can finally stop holding back my hatred. Now I finally have all the answers I care for. I have the one responsible for the pain and I intend to make it pay for all the anger I felt.

    And remember... revenge will be achievable...

    Yes... Yes, Yes, YES! YES! YES! This must happen! Luke must die! Owen must die! And everyone who is behind Owen's actions, potential backers, whomever ordered him to do this, they must die as well! There can be no other way! For too long, I only had speechless anger when thinking about Alex' death. Now, after all of the unbearable frustration, there must be satisfaction. Luke must die. Owen must die. This is the only way there could ever be a happy ending. I must have my sweet, ever satisfying vengeance.

    NoHopeLeft posted: »

    Chapter Four: Awakened (Part 6) 04:09 P.M. - One Month Ago - One Day Before the Prologue The fight ended just as quickly as it began.

  • edited January 2016

    Ok........Just so you know bro......im not voting to kill Luke.

    I feel Owen is much more responsable for all of this and contrary to you this part killed any possible hatred i had for Luke.

    So... it took me a while to calm down enough to even write this comment/rant-hybrid, because my first emotion after reading this part has be

  • edited January 2016

    Ok........Just so you know bro......im not voting to kill Luke.

    Yeah, I already guessed that much and while I'm not exactly surprised, I'm also a bit disappointed. Against my better judgement, I have hoped you would support me instead of supporting this murderous bastard, but I have already guessed that you and probably a majority of readers will see him as the victim all of a sudden, for no damn reason. But let me just say, he is not the victim. He is the killer! The moment he pulled the trigger was the moment he doomed himself. I just can't accept that he is going to live after all of this. Even thinking about the fact that he could survive the next chapter is utterly unbearable for me. I will never forgive him, I just can't and I simply can't accept him getting his happily ever after. And even though I know your opinion about this, I can just politely ask of you, please don't do that to me. Please, don't let him get away with that!

    I feel Owen is much more responsable for all of this

    Sure, this worthless bastard Owen is responsible as well, but definitely not more than Luke. Owen never pulled the trigger. Owen never even forced Luke to kill Alex. Luke just did it without any reason and without any excuse. Both of them are responsible, both of them have to die. Just because Owen is responsible as well, just because Owen has to die, does not mean that Luke deserves to live all of a sudden. Luke is the reason Alex is dead. Luke is the reason I am trembling with anger at the moment. This guy is a fucking monster, the worst kind of living being imaginable and he does not deserve your help!

    and contrary to you this part killed any possible hatred i had for Luke.

    So, does that mean you had any hatred for Luke to begin with? What has he done to you? The way I see it, I'm the one that actually has a reason to hate him, and a bloody good one on top. Let me ask you a couple of questions, Lord: What is Luke to you? Why are you so hellbent on defending him even after what he did? What has he done to deserve your help? Why do you think he is innocent all of a sudden? Why do you think he should live when his victim never even got a chance? And finally, what would you do if Lana would have been his victim instead? Surely you wouldn't be so forgiving, right?

    Lord_EAA posted: »

    Ok........Just so you know bro......im not voting to kill Luke. I feel Owen is much more responsable for all of this and contrary to you this part killed any possible hatred i had for Luke.

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