Insult Sword Fighting! (Create your own insults!)

13468925

Comments

  • edited June 2009
    I'm gonna put your lights out!

    Once you change the lightbulb, please turn it on again!

    Is that your whimper, or is it a mule?
  • edited June 2009
    I'm still trying to figure out if you soiled yourself, or is it just your drool.

    My enemies fear me beyond human despair!
  • vizviz
    edited June 2009
    I'm still trying to figure out if you soiled yourself, or is it just your drool.

    My enemies fear me beyond human despair!

    Your stench alone is more than they can bear!

    ---

    I shall be pickin' your scrawny bones from my teeth tonight!
  • edited June 2009
    viz wrote: »
    I shall be pickin' your scrawny bones from my teeth tonight!

    Why dont you get some teeth first, before ye start to fight?

    You are as agile as an elephant in a baby pool!
  • edited June 2009
    Then I'd crush you in one step, you fool.
    ----
    You're as endangered as an antelabbit.
  • edited June 2009
    Azure wrote: »
    You're as endangered as an antelabbit.

    That's why I taught your wife about mating habits.

    ---

    For every insult, your grave just becomes deeper.
  • edited June 2009
    Were you smart enough to get highered as anything other than a grave digger?


    Sometimes I need only what you can provide; your absence!
  • edited June 2009
    Marduk wrote: »
    Were you smart enough to get highered as anything other than a grave digger?


    Sometimes I need only what you can provide; your absence!

    You're talking in riddles again, that plus your clumsy footwork can mean only one thing: Absinthe.

    {of course, this depends whether you pronounce Absinthe like most people, or correctly 'ab-santh'}
    ---

    Your shower of insults do less damage than water
  • edited June 2009
    You're just upset over me and your daughter...

    {so which were you trynig to rhyme with absence? 'Absinth' or 'Absanth'? :P}

    ----

    Do you love nature? Inspite of what it did to you?
  • edited June 2009
    Marduk wrote: »
    You're just upset over me and your daughter...

    {so which were you trynig to rhyme with absence? 'Absinth' or 'Absanth'? :P}

    ----

    Do you love nature? Inspite of what it did to you?

    My teeth are all natural, pity you can't say the same.

    _____________________________

    You're young, you are, but you're as smart as paint. (Ah Treasure Island...)
  • edited June 2009
    Well then, let me "brush" your guts with my sword! (how quaint)


    You suck! :p
  • edited June 2009
    You suck! :p

    Hmm.. um, no, YOU suck? *runs out of Ozzie's house

    Point and click! THATS how I'm handy!
  • edited June 2009
    Hmm.. um, no, YOU suck? *runs out of Ozzie's house

    Point and click! THATS how I'm handy!

    With a hook? Not so dandy.

    _______________________________________

    Yer own kin won't recognize ye when I'm through with yea.
  • edited June 2009
    Hmm.. um, no, YOU suck? *runs out of Ozzie's house

    Hey! Who are you calling "Ozzie's house"?!
    jes' kiddin' :p

    Yer own kin won't recognize ye when I'm through with yea.

    At least me kin wants teh recognise meh, while yers sold ye three times and recovered you only twice.


    You look like you've been sedated, inflated and gotten overweighted!
  • edited June 2009
    You look like you've been sedated, inflated and gotten overweighted!

    You look more like an abomination of nature than an ex I once dated.

    ---

    You are the weakest young scally God ever created!
  • edited June 2009
    Gryffalio wrote: »
    You are the weakest young scally God ever created!

    Your insults and God have the same issue- they're both outdated.


    ---

    I'm done with the talking, get on that plank and start walking.
  • edited June 2009
    Your insults and God have the same issue- they're both outdated.


    ---

    I'm done with the talking, get on that plank and start walking.

    Only once you stop squawkin' and start fightin'!

    ---

    What would you like first, a lobotomy, or a castration?
  • edited June 2009
    Gryffalio wrote: »
    What would you like first, a lobotomy, or a castration?

    Why don't you tell me, you lack balls and seem to have monopoly on monotony.

    ---

    A fight against me is a fight against humanity.
  • edited June 2009
    Why don't you tell me, you lack balls and seem to have monopoly on monotony.

    ---

    A fight against me is a fight against humanity.

    Never thought they'd use a symbol like a monkey!


    Has the mirror cracked again when you looked into it this morning?
  • edited June 2009
    Never thought they'd use a symbol like a monkey!


    Has the mirror cracked again when you looked into it this morning?
    At least I can tolerate the sight in the mirror.


    You have the face, with the long proboscis, the protruding teeth of the Apocalyptic horse, betrayed animality
  • edited June 2009
    Marduk wrote: »
    At least I can tolerate the sight in the mirror.


    You have the face, with the long proboscis, the protruding teeth of the Apocalyptic horse, betrayed animality

    And Ye've got the body, were we separated at birth?

    ___________________________________________________

    Is that honestly the best evil pirate laugh ye've got?
  • edited June 2009
    hplikelike wrote: »
    Is that honestly the best evil pirate laugh ye've got?
    No, that's just plain old laughter. Your fighting is just way too funny to be real.

    ---

    I bet you like Uwe Boll's movies!
  • edited June 2009
    I bet you like Uwe Boll's movies!

    I'm sorry, what? My face was buried in Gretchen Mol's boobies.

    You tacky fool! Is that a pleather justaucorps (i.e. pirate coat)?
  • edited June 2009
    I'm sorry, what? My face was buried in Gretchen Mol's boobies.

    You tacky fool! Is that a pleather justaucorps (i.e. pirate coat)?

    Why do people always need an Idiot to English dictionary when they try to understand you?


    You don't deserve to play Tales of Monkey Island! (now THAT's an insult!)
  • edited June 2009
    Why do people always need an Idiot to English dictionary when they try to understand you?


    You don't deserve to play Tales of Monkey Island! (now THAT's an insult!)
    Maybe, if there's another incarnation of this game, there should be a system where (if the reply isn't witty enough or doesn't suitably respond to the previous insult) they should ‘lose’ and the previous player has to come up with a new insult, more in line with the game’s Insult Sword Fighting...
  • edited June 2009
    Gee guys, I thought this was supposed to be fun, and would come naturally to any MI fan. Boy, talk about the Wind That Knocked Itself Out of The Sails of a Perfectly Good Insult Swordfight. Anyway, guess it's not as bad as the original thread that apparently inspired this. There's some real venom in there, with no discernable reverence for MI whatsoever. I'm talking "yo mama" jokes.
  • edited June 2009
    I didn't see that thread.
  • edited June 2009
    It's in the general chat forum. Don't bother, it's depressing.
  • edited June 2009
    Gee guys, I thought this was supposed to be fun, and would come naturally to any MI fan. Boy, talk about the Wind That Knocked Itself Out of The Sails of a Perfectly Good Insult Swordfight. Anyway, guess it's not as bad as the original thread that apparently inspired this. There's some real venom in there, with no discernable reverence for MI whatsoever. I'm talking "yo mama" jokes.

    ..my apologies... Is this about my reply? I didn't mean to be rude. I am sorry if I offended anyone in any way. Maybe I just got carried away...
  • edited June 2009
    I assumed it was in response to me.

    BTW, had i bothered to check if there was another forum game like this I wouldn't have made this one. I actually thought it was an original forum game.
  • edited June 2009
    Hum... guys. Less talking more insulting?
    You don't deserve to play Tales of Monkey Island! (now THAT's an insult!)

    At least I paid for it! I mean, you're a pirate.

    ---

    Not even your mightiest insult shall weaken my resolve.
  • edited June 2009
    If you say so, but I'd suggest you work on that thing called "evolve".


    Covering you with rabid monkeys is a too good of a death for you!
  • edited June 2009
    Marduk wrote: »
    BTW, had i bothered to check if there was another forum game like this I wouldn't have made this one. I actually thought it was an original forum game.

    I may have just been retarded at the time (certainly was inebriated) but I think despite the amount of posts, it only started up after this one. And it is indeed a thread of the interweb at its worst ;)
    If you say so, but I'd suggest you work on that thing called "evolve".


    Covering you with rabid monkeys is a too good of a death for you!

    You finally had some bairns, eh? By the looks of you, they should be in a zoo!

    ---

    Your the scurviest wannabe I ever crossed swords with!

    *(bairns = northern slang for children)
  • edited June 2009
    Gryffalio wrote: »
    I may have just been retarded at the time (certainly was inebriated) but I think despite the amount of posts, it only started up after this one. And it is indeed a thread of the interweb at its worst ;)



    You finally had some bairns, eh? By the looks of you, they should be in a zoo!

    ---

    Your the scurviest wannabe I ever crossed swords with!

    *(bairns = northern slang for children)

    Except for one thing: I'd never wanna be you!

    ______________________________________

    A pirate ninja? Yer such a sellout!
  • edited June 2009
    TheJoe wrote: »
    But a cabbage would rot at your stench!


    You have the footwork of a drunk gorilla!

    At least im still human!

    Your face looks like it belongs at a fishmunger's
  • edited June 2009
    hplikelike wrote: »
    Except for one thing: I'd never wanna be you!

    ______________________________________

    A pirate ninja? Yer such a sellout!

    Nothing compared to such a worm-riddled, bow-legged fisherman. Get back to ye' fishing, an' go marry a trout!

    ---

    Your nothing better than a skirt-wearing Frenchman!
  • edited June 2009
    And you are shorter than LeChuck's evil henchman! (Largo)


    You look more like a hermit, than a pirate!
  • edited June 2009
    You look more like a hermit, than a pirate!

    And you look just about old enough for a brigand learner's permit, I rate!
    The merest whisper of my name has been known to drop a pirate's beard right off his face!
  • edited June 2009
    The only drops I've heard of are the ones you made after drinking with disgrace.


    When I look at you I see a pirate and a parrot, though I can't tell which is which.
  • edited June 2009
    The only drops I've heard of are the ones you made after drinking with disgrace.


    When I look at you I see a pirate and a parrot, though I can't tell which is which.

    Ah, so that's why your swordplay is so clumsy, they let you sail with that eyesight?


    Yer the slimiest bilge-rat i've ever fought!
Sign in to comment in this discussion.