Insult Sword Fighting! (Create your own insults!)

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  • edited July 2009
    I don't need extra help to annihilate cattle!


    When people see my ship dock, they cower in fear!
  • edited July 2009
    When people see my ship dock, they cower in fear!

    Only when you hit the rocks man, learn how to steer!


    I'm tempted to hew off my own leg just to make this fight fair!
  • edited July 2009
    I'm tempted to hew off my own leg just to make this fight fair!
    You've never learned to walk anyway, so why should I care?
    I'll make you beg for your life, that much I swear!
  • edited July 2009
    First I'm gonna beg for you to find something decent to WEAR!


    Should I use a newspaper or dog-biscuits to educate you?
  • edited July 2009
    Should I use a newspaper or dog-biscuits to educate you?
    As if you could tell the difference, you jailbait, boo!
    I'd beat you even handcuffed and hobbled.
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    I'd beat you even handcuffed and hobbled.

    Well, i am amazed that it turns you on. (*covers in shame)

    I dont need a ship - I ride at backs of whale, fly by a bird's trail! (tail?)
  • edited July 2009
    I dont need a ship - I ride at backs of whale, fly by a bird's trail! (tail?)

    Gosh, what do they serve you poor inmates in jail?!


    I am standing in awe of your stupidity.
  • edited July 2009
    Well, i am amazed that it turns you on. (*covers in shame)
    I dont need a ship - I ride at backs of whale, fly by a bird's trail! (tail?)
    That proves you're a snip - your tries to steer did fail, die by my sword, shirttail!
    I am standing in awe of your stupidity.
    I thought you'd more comfortable in lack of lucidity.

    Give up, bastard, run, and I spare your life.
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    Give up, bastard, run, and I spare your life.

    I'm already dead sir, I've seen your wife!

    ---

    You can't even rhyme, you mongrel!
  • edited July 2009
    I am standing in awe of your stupidity.

    Shut that gaping maw! It's left a stench in the vicinity!


    Please, no more of your wordplay! Your swordplay is more than enough insult for one day.

    EDIT: Soooo slow. That'll learn me to multitask
  • edited July 2009
    Someone is bad at multitasking. Now give me an insult.
  • edited July 2009
    You can't even rhyme, you mongrel!

    Pirating, not poetry, eats up most of my time...and you'll be writing your next song in hell!

    (Oy. An insult about rhyming that ends on "mongrel?" You so did that on purpose!)

    *Refer to my last post for opening insult
  • edited July 2009
    Please, no more of your wordplay! Your swordplay is more than enough insult for one day.
    Like your senseless babbling is more than enough for an entire life.
    I'll show you what 'pain' means, I'll teach you some manners!
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    That proves you're a snip - your tries to steer did fail, die by my sword, shirttail!


    I thought you'd more comfortable in lack of lucidity.

    Give up, bastard, run, and I spare your life.
    Rule 9.
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    Like your senseless babbling is more than enough for an entire life.
    I'll show you what 'pain' means, I'll teach you some manners!
    Prove to me that you can spell and I'll hang streamers and banners.


    Call yourself a pirate? You couldn't scare a toddler!
  • edited July 2009
    Marduk wrote:
    Rule 9.
    Oops... sorry.
    Marduk wrote:
    Call yourself a pirate? You couldn't scare a toddler!
    Call yourself a human? You look a bit odd, er...
    I've never heard insults worse than yours.
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    Oops... sorry.


    Call yourself a human? You look a bit odd, er...
    I've never heard insults worse than yours.

    You look like that beast they say lurks in the moors...

    ----

    Come back and fight me when you've learned to open doors.
  • edited July 2009
    Marduk wrote:
    Come back and fight me when you learn to open doors.
    I'll fight you, you'll see, when you're done with wiping floors.
    Ye're sure you don't want to go home to your Mommy?
  • edited July 2009
    some more versions :p
    Marduk wrote: »
    Come back and fight me when you've learned to open doors.

    Aye but could you please, learn to walk for once and all? or
    Marduk wrote: »
    Come back and fight me when you've learned to open doors.

    Like you open bottles and roam the tavern floors? its kinda stoled from actual ones :o :D
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    Ye're sure you don't want to go home to your Mommy?

    I've just been at ye're wife's, you dummy!

    I can juggle coconuts, even cannon balls!
  • edited July 2009
    I can juggle coconuts, even cannon balls!

    Good, next time you juggle, I hope they all fall!

    You're so bad at this, Death fainted!
  • edited July 2009
    You're so bad at this, Death fainted!
    He just saw a picture of you I painted.
    Your insults are really as dull as your blade.
  • edited July 2009
    I can juggle coconuts, even cannon balls!
    Good, next time you juggle, I hope they all fall!

    Uhh, sorry to neat-picking on your own response, which i liked but wouldn't be better if you said
    I can juggle coconuts, even cannon balls!
    Good, next time you juggle, try them NOT TO fall

    So, this way you would actually suggest they i suck as a juggler and all that, because if you say "i hope they all fall" you are actually agreeing with me and my juggling skills :D
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    He just saw a picture of you I painted.
    Your insults are really as dull as your blade.

    At least I'm not the one fighting with a rusted garden spade!
    In all the seven seas, no one can match my wit!
  • edited July 2009
    In all the seven seas, no one can match my wit!
    Too bad that your body always gets hit!
    There's no man, nor woman who never heard my name.
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    There's no man, nor woman who never heard my name.

    So, the circus posters advertise is bringing you some fame.
  • edited July 2009
    Er... next insult?
  • edited July 2009
    Mad Mary wrote: »
    Er... next insult?

    Why bother? You'll lose as a result! :p Ok, ok, just kidding, here

    I've seen elephants with better footwork then you.
  • edited July 2009
    And yet I have beaten all of your crew!


    The size of your belly, yet you fit on this ship?

    (My last inslut was cheating in the rhyme scheme)
  • edited July 2009
    Crakker wrote: »
    And yet I have beaten all of your crew!


    The size of your belly, yet you fit on this ship?

    (My last inslut was cheating in the rhyme scheme)

    Of course! The mass of my size prevents me from slips!
    Your swordsmanship is so bad, ALL pirates berate it!
  • edited July 2009
    But when they saw you, you became hated!

    Give up already! You're as better as a drunken pig!
  • edited July 2009
    But when they saw you, you became hated!

    Give up already! You're as better as a drunken pig!
    *sigh* yours is yet another grave to dig...

    ----

    You handle your sword like a rotten old twig!
  • edited July 2009
    And YOU handle yours like a lighted firework rigged!
    This is boring. Once I win, I'll drink to your health!
  • edited July 2009

    This is boring. Once I win, I'll drink to your health!

    It will be tricky to drink with my sword through your mouth.


    My last rival lies in Davy Jones' locker!
  • edited July 2009
    meander wrote: »
    It will be tricky to drink with my sword through your mouth.


    My last rival lies in Davy Jones' locker!

    Oh yeah, suuure. Bring the Monkees into this, ya gawker!
    You're not stupid; your possessed by a retarded ghost!
  • edited July 2009
    You're not stupid; your [sic] possessed by a retarded ghost!

    Methinks its problems are the fault of the host!
    I've destroyed every pirate I've come across!
  • edited July 2009
    But when it comes to Dental Problems, you've never used floss.
    I can kill pirates, tens and thousands more!
  • edited July 2009
    Too bad they're only figurines you bought from the store!
    You're no match for me, just walk out the door!
  • edited July 2009
    LASD wrote: »
    Too bad they're only figurines you bought from the store!

    You're no match for me, just walk out the door!

    Nah, I'd rather beat you to the floor.
    I'm going to take out the trash!
  • edited July 2009
    thatdude98 wrote: »
    I'm going to take out the trash!
    Good, while you work your back will feel my lash!
    I will cut you in two with a single slash!
  • edited July 2009
    Ill still beat you faster than a thunderflash.


    I could go on fighting for over a month!
  • edited July 2009
    I could go on fighting for over a month!

    But I heard you went into hiding for over a year, once!


    You fight like a flooring inspector.
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